Just blowing off steam here.
For most of my life I have have avoided and hated photos of myself (not connecting this to why I could pick an outfit out for my mum to go to a fancy work dinner but not my dad 😂). Infact I have had perods where I destroyed pix.
Now when I met my wife whilst in the US, it became clear that there was no future for us there, but had a chance we could make the immigration criteria in the uk. But we would have to prove our relationship.
This meant photos. And I gritted my teeth and got them done every opportunity I could. My wife continued long after we were clear because thats what couples do.
When I finally had a pic of me in makeup and shapewear that worked I bawled. I finally had a photo that I wasnt reviled at seeing.
Clocks forward to yesterday and my wife nearly backed out of a friends wedding because of the photos and not being happy with her own immage recently.
I just wish she realised what she is experiencing is what I haeen choking down since we met.
The hair loss with me is mostly due to stress on the sides, so it helps having a mohawk. But i did try two years before pandemic to get fitter but the aversion didn't go away despite pride at my weight lose
It's a strange world isn't it!
I've never been one for photos either as I've never really liked seeing myself in them. I'm not one for selfies either. I have to have an official photo for work but I'm not keen on it. I have a particular hobby where I can be photographed in a playing or semi-official capacity but I'm not keen on most of the photos I eventually see myself in. There are rare occasions where I am surprised and see a photo that I actually like.
I often wonder how others see me and if it's in the same way as I see me but that's not really the right way to look at it is it and it's also complete;y impossible to know! I suppose getting older and losing my hair doesn't help - not that I'm worried about that btw - although I think I would look better in a photo if I had a proper head of hair rather than the constantly drifting back hairline that ageing dictates 🫤.
Maybe this is why I feel much happier when I can take a photo dressed and I have a wig on! I feel far more comfortable and the wig frames my face to a degree that I am very comfortable with. Taking a lesson from Davina about camera angles I now try to take a number of photos for each outfit every time I get a chance to dress (rare at the moment). It's strange but I actually look forward to doing it to, I do delete ones I'm not happy with, but I like to keep several photos for each outfit and am OK with myself when I look back at them.