By: Sindy
Subject: Incompatibility
Okay, so this question bugged me after asking it on the chat below that I felt it needed a separate post.
Why don't crossdressers just date other crossdressers?
It seems so logical, so simple and so easy that I can't believe we're instead in this bizarre situation where men who crossdress date straight women. How did this happen? We are a terrible, awful partner choice for a crossdresser. Aside from the rare exception, MOST heterosexual women LOVE masculinity. And how does a crossdresser like to present?
Yep, insane choice.
I know, I know - you only present feminine occasionally and the rest of the time you're a manly man. Sorry, but you only need to scroll through a few posts on any crossdressing forum to see how even occasional dressing can affect the wife's attraction. You can't unsee something, so if you're sexually repulsed seeing your husband crossdressed (a common reaction because, again, straight women love masculinity) then this can carry into all other sexual contact EVEN if you never dress around her again.
What a mess! And yet, you continue to marry us.
So, when you're younger, why don't you ever consider other crossdressing me ? They'll be feminine and wear all the feminine items you love, and will be equally excited by the fantasy, and really I don't see how it's easier to pair up with an entire group of people who basically don't want you (most women would not date a crossdresser if they knew upfront) as opposed to a group who not only want you, but UNDERSTAND you. Sure, there's the genitalia issue to confront and I totally get that obstacle, but dang, we're talking about a serious incompatibility issue. If it suddenly became illegal to keep crossdressing a secret from potential partners (this has been tossed around before in regards to trans rights versus other people's rights to know), I do believe most of you would be screwed. Most women would avoid you, and you know this. It's only in online unicorn land that crossdressers meet scores of women who desire them in all their feminine glory. In reality, if you were obligated to tell people upfront, most of you would end up alone. (I wouldn't have dated my husband if I'd known from day one. Research suggests most crossdressers wives feel the same.)
Unless, of course, you date each other.
Sigh. I really don't get it. I think nature screwed this up big time.
By: TRinny T girl
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Incompatibility
Hi Sindy glad you didn't take offence
WE can all only tell it from our perspective and that what I like here. I've read Davinas blogs for a few years not really thinking it effected me as being young free and single but it has taught me never to hide my crossdressing from girlfriends and the reason I've not stayed with a girlfriend is down to other things not the dressing up and I'm not ready for commitment yet. I was one of the emaillers to Davina who convinced me to join in the chat.
I will avoid being the sad, rejected and in the closet hoping when I do meet the one she will be accepting of my crossdressing and my bi side which thinking about it a lot may be a passing phase which I know if I settled down and got married I'd push to the back of my life and be faithful and think I could sort out talking enough not to bang on but also so not to have someone go off this part of me in 20-30 years time that is if I still crossdress then.
But I don't want to marry a tgirl either I want a woman not a man who looks like one lol but if the right tgirl asks me on a date sure I'll continue to meet as it doesn't mean they want sex lots of dates have been just that, we've gone out shopping dressed, cinema or just for drinks as "girls"