Whoa there,settle down – I dont think anyones going off on one or misunderstood.

All friendly in here.

Is the behaviour hardwired from birth or do we learn it try it like it keep doing it?

I dont dress to attract.. I dress for me.

Mens clothes are pretty boring.. nice every now and then to stick on shirt tie trousers and waistcoat and suit jacket and be James Bond.. that’s my dressing up as a man.. otherwise its jeans t shirt, jeans shirt, combat trousers and t shirt, football shirt and tracksuit bottome or trousers and shirt pretty boring .. oh with boxers and socks.. boring as compared to womens clothing choice.

It makes me feel good, yes. WHY? - It just does i’ve given up wondering why exactly.

For what reason does biology give me that reward? I dont think of being an attractor.. I dont think of Biology being involved at all. It’s clothing and if clothing was role reversed and men dressed as women and women dressed as men as standard it would be society driven not biologically driven.

I get a lot of messages on line as Davina – lots of messages in TVChix in my mail box asking if I meet or would I like to attend a social event. i’m always polite and say no thanks.

I dont get any offers as a man lol but then as a man people know im married so why would I get messages asking me out and i’m not on any sites to attract that sort of offer.. I find it mad that I get men ask me if I date as Davina or if i’d like to meet them as Davina when my profile says no men not interested basiclally bog off men.

Same as you debs no slutty photos just pics of me as a tgirl looking like a normal woman.

Lots of women these days dress for comfort most of the time and thats a bug bear of mine to an extent dont get me started lol. They do still look way better than the typical guy.

I think lots of women dress for comfort and like us dressing up makeup heels etc has become a less frequent occasion. When they date they dress up.. when they marry they find contentment and dress up less.. weddings, partys, girls nights out, rare to see some women in a dress and heels.. my eyes pop out when I see Esme in a dress tights and heels.. faaaar too rare an occurrence shes broken the deal we made on wearing a dress and tights and heels more often.

I'm saying that simple act of dressing up as female is in itself isn’t innately more about attraction I’m attracted to myself dressed I’m so vane but I dress for me not to be attractive to others. The fact some say I look attractive as “Davina” is a byproduct of luck.

Katie: " I've had a lot more attention crossdressed (online) than I've ever had as man. ". Yes, and that's without wearing a min-skirt with stocking tops showing. Its simply from the act of dressing feminine, not overtly sexy and not dressing to get laid. This is *exactly* the point. Emma: " Lots of women these days dress for comfort most of the time ". I fully agree. But they still look way better than the typical guy. Comfort can mean a pair of jeans (very commonly worn), but womens jeans (especially skinnies) are *way* different to mens jeans (I know, I wear both). As I say, there will always be outliers. Emma: " Tgirls do you dress to attract men? ". Now really Emma, where did I say that?! No, I'm saying that simply the act of dressing up as female is in itself innately more about attraction than dressing as a typical guy. I don't dress to attract anyone. I am 100% faithfuil to my wife. BUT I get an awful lot of attraction when dressed (from both guys and girls). I'm not looking for it, but I do get it.

Whoa there,settle down. No, you have both misunderstood. I said nothing of anyone dressing up to explicitly go out and get laid.

Davina: " I do not dress to attract men or anyone " I didn't say you do.

Davina: " I dress for me myself and I try my best to look convincing" You mean as female as you can.

Emma: " as it makes me feel better about myself " . And that is the highly poigniant point.

Nature gives the individual the incentive (the reward, (in this case "feel good about myself") for the behaviour (dressing nicely). But the behaviour is hardwired for the *reason* to attract. Let me be clear, its an underlying thing; I'm not talking about getting fully tarted up with the intent to get laid that night. Look inside a womans clothes store; so many colours, styles, materials, Pick up a womans magazine: "how to look thinner", "what styles flatter your figure", "makeup to enhance the eyes" etc. Its full of such things. BUT these are not magazines about "how to get laid". Its often about everyday wear etc. Now compare to mens clothes shops (the lack of colours, the narrow range of colours etc.). Mens clothes are almost entirely practical, whereas the majority of the breadth of womens clothes are not about practicality - they're about how to look a certain way. Note that I'm talking about mainstream behaviour here; there will always be outliers.

So, what I'm saying is that one gender is psychologically hardwired to attract (not to explkicitly decide to "get laid", these are NOT synonymous), whereas the other gender is hardwired to look and be attracted.. Note that this is not some fringe observation, it is true throughout the animal kingdom. Every species has an attractor sex and an attracted sex (though oddly, it is often the male that is assigned "the attractor" and the female "the attracted" - e.g. peacock (male) versus peahen (drab) and for most other species of birds).

It makes you feel good, yes. It makes me feel good too. But *WHY* does it make you feel good - what reason does biology give you that reward? Because you (generally the female, but in the case of transgenderism in males, men) are hardwared as "the attractor". We dress up (nice clothes, and/or maybe a bit of makeup, etc.), we feel good about ourselves. Womens clothes fulfill that purpose. Guys are much more likely to go out in a pair of scrappy old jeans and a baggy t-shirt than a woman (if you doubt it, do a tally as you peope watch for 15 minutes on a busy high street). and in fact clothes shop generally reflect that. The reason why this is such a feasible theory is (a) it occurs widely throughout nature (why should humans be any different), (b) it is a well established observation across species generally (why should humans be any different), and (c) it is a beautifully simple explanation that lends itself to explaining much of the other (apparently complex) observations about transgenderism that are really just symptoms of the actual underlying cause.

I do not dress to attract men or anyone.

I dress for me myself and I.

I try my best to look convincing.

I don't see the attractor atractee thing. If I dress nice for a girly night with friends I dress for myself not to attract people leaving the other half in doors.

I generally over the last 2 year's have made more of an effort with Makeup dresses heels etc partly to please my husband and mainly as it makes me feel better about myself.

Tgirls do you dress to attract men?

Lots of women these days dress for comfort most of the time Esme / Sindy if you're there do you agree?

When tgirls dress do you dress to attract or dress to represent your perfect woman or dress to try to look convincing?

Emma (wife)

Agreed that not all women dress to attract in an in-your-face overt way. I'm not implying that all women wear mini-skirts etc. Even a pair of skinny jeans shows off a figure, or simply a pair of sheer tights on any woman looks lovely, or a longer but flowing skirt. What I'm trying to say is that it is common for women to dress attractively, to instinctively be attractors, but that does not necessarily mean sexually overt. I think most women do like to look good. While the attractor theory is not a one-size-fits-all theory, as a generality I believe it is a much better fit than assigning specific personality traits to either gender.

Hi Debs

I can understand the attractors / attracted. I've had a lot more attention crossdressed (online) than I've ever had as man. It is nice to dress to feel attractive. But I also can see that some women aren't bothered about being attractors. They will dress to not to be noticed. Likewise some men want to dress in away that women find attractive.

I guess the human race is totally mixed up!

Katie x

I don't think of any of those traits as either specific to men or women.

In fact, as I've grown older, the more I've come to conclude through experience of women, when truly getting to know someone, that men and women are MUCH less different than any stereotyping would suggest. I suspect that most perceived differences are down more to societal conditioning than anything else; i.e. people put on the facade that they think is expected of them, but that doesn't necessarily describe the person beneath. Over time, the facade sticks. I suspect that none of this has anything to do with gender identity per se. We all have the possibility to be all these things, and given free reign perhaps would be more likely to do so, but societal conditioning stops us. When dressed, I do feel much freer to break any societal expectations of me as a male, which is all part of the feeling of liberation I think. In other words, being able to dance sexily, chat to girls about things I otherwise never would, hug complete strangers are all things I would love to do all the time (and perhaps all guys would if given free reign and devoid of how they have been conditioned to behave), but unless I'm in a dress and wig, I know full well that these actions would be treated with suspicion and possible ridicule. So my feeling is that these things do not have anything to do with being male or female, but more to do with societal rules. But by crossdressing, we allow ourselves (and others allow us) to break these rules, All of this is just a (truly) wonderful side-effect of the crossdressing, but not in any way related to any underlying cause of it. My favourite theory so far is much simpler; that we are hardwired to either be the attractor, or be attracted. In humans, woman are generally the attractors, the ones who dress themselves in visual appeal in order to attract men who are the attracted. We feel good by knowing we are attractive (this is the biological, genetic, non-societal part) which is all much closer aligned to femininity. Most guys really don't care what they're wearing (for example), so long as it is practical. But we, coded as attractors can't but help to want to look and feel beautiful. (I could expand further, but it might get a bit controvesial for some).

I agree. Women can exhibit all those traits and equally men can be shy, passive, insecure, complaining, incisive (I think) etc. All I was trying to do was show how society will give each trait a gender as in 'this is typical masculine behaviour'. If you are bought up to believe that you exhibit 'feminine' traits how does that affect your gender identity? Do you identify as being more feminine? When Davina says she's 90% Alpha male and 10% female is it those feminine traits which dictate that split?

Women can be very aggressive, women can be b oastful, dominant , came braizen, violent et c et c o think the lists are.equally available to men or women as I can identify with all the above to a certain extent..as a man