Its been six months nearly since i first told my wife i was a cross dresser!

and over that period iv`e been gathering information and getting help and advice on how to tackle the issue of bringing up my cross dressing again to be able to try and move forward in an effort to help my wife come to terms with this information.

Most of that help and advice has come both from this forum and what has become a very good friend.

When i first came out to my wife she was in shock! and found things very difficult over that first weekend. The biggest piece of advice i was given was "Take things Slowly"

above all, don`t bombard her with information so, that`s what i did, i said and did nothing for about five months.

Only one incident arose that i could try and broach the subject again, when my wife caught me looking at makeup whilst on holiday, but despite an effort to spark up a conversation she was not forthcoming and just tried to make it a non event i think, (or that`s what i thought).

This kind of started a bit of a downturn in my feelings about how things where developing

and i started to feel as though my wife was trying to just ignore the whole issue of my cross dressing!

About four weeks ago i decided to go onto tvchix one day trying to look for some information on the forums to try and help me, as i was looking through some of the threads i came across someone asking for advice on how could they tackle telling their wife they cross dressed! this turned out to be Emma tights here on the forum (small world hey).

We struck up a conversation and later found out we where both members on this forum :)

Talking with Emma was a massive help and support on how things where progressing or not as the case may be, i could just bounce ideas off Emma, some she thought where good, and some she thought where best left alone.

All the time i was becoming more down and despondent over the situation.

Then last week i was talking to Emma on skype and i was having a bad night and i actually said that i felt trapped in a sense that my wife didn`t want to talk about cross dressing and i was finding it increasingly difficult to bring the subject up for fear of pushing her too much and her rejecting me! i felt absolutely horrible that night, so much so i couldn`t stop myself crying!! my wife sitting only a few feet away from me, i had to go and try and compose myself, meanwhile Emma is now feeling bad that she can`t help anymore than she has been doing, she even sent me links for counselling!

Before she went off to bed, my wife asked me if i had a cold? as she had picked up on my sniffing and knew something wasn`t right.

I went off to work the next morning and my wife didn`t say anything to me however, later that morning she sent me a text, it read "Just to let you know, i do still love you i hope you realise that"....... i replied saying that i knew that and that i was having a bad time and that i was upset that she couldn`t talk to me about my cross dressing! so there it was, i`d mentioned the reason why i was upset and i also took the opportunity to ask if we could talk about it on the Friday? she said she was coming to terms with it, but I didn`t get a reply on the talk, but i then asked her again on Friday if we could talk.

She thought about it for a minuet and then said "No", but i could tell she really did think about it but wasn`t ready, i wanted to say more, but i had Davina, Emma and Sindy`s advice ringing in my ears, DON`T KEEP PUSHING!! so i let it drop, but the relationship dynamics have now changed between my wife and myself, my wife is more upbeat towards me, her attitude to me is brighter and it seems as though a level of understanding is there that wasn`t

there before, she now makes humorous comments of how long i`m taking in the bathroom!

(its taking longer to have a shower when your shaving your legs and trying to practice your makeup skills) :)

And so a turning point has bean reached, yes we still havn`t had that talk, i have completed my letter to her and feel more and more that this would be the best thing for her as she still finds it difficult to talk to me face to face, the letter will give her information without having to ask me herself.

I feel now that its just a matter of time before we DO have that talk, and maybe even more, i don`t know when, but things are better and as long as i`m patient with my wife and i show her as much as possible i love her we will get there.

And so my journey continues `upwards` and onwards.

All my love,

Catriona xxx