I bet lots think of the wasted time and opportunity to dress and relax.
For me i think of when I used to dress before I told Esme, she'd go up her Mums for dinner or out with the girls (rare but sometimes) and I'd dress in the house making sure to hide I'd been dressed and a rare thing in out 20s before the stress of work and life really hit me.
Then after I told her I dressed a wasted 8 years where I still dressed but when she was out doing the same thing dressing with her knowing i dress but had to carry on doing it behind her back as was our deal she didn't want to know, then we progressed to she did want to know when i was dressed so I'd let her know in some code but even then it was a time of why do i dress guilt so wasted opportunities to dress... 8 years wasted where it could have been something we did together instead of Esme burying her head in the sand and not wanting to talk about it and me worrying about what she really thought and the guilt for being a crossdresser.
Got my head round it now no guilt for dressing at all but now new missed opportunities or wasted time where I could dress and haven't for many reasons, wanted to keep stubble for some reason sometimes work related, sometimes going out with Esme related, video meetings so couldn't dress, waiting for a delivery or too stressed and busy with work to dress.
I thought about it today too Covid-19 Tier 4 lockdown can't go out unless to the supermarket or work and I'm off work for Christmas and anyway we're in the middle of a yellow weather warning storm which has been going on pretty much since Friday so totally bored stiff and sat down the kids and Esme watching some rubbish Christmas 24 films and I'm thinking I could be dressing, doing my makeup, sorting my dresses, trying on the 2 other wigs i bought and trying to style them, but no I can't as the kids don't know I crossdress so more wasted time ... 2021 had better give us all a better opportunity for our escapism and we need to make the most of whatever time we can grab to unwind and enjoy being T-Girls.
That is all.. Just a thought on the time we waste.
Davina
Hi Rebecca it is wasted tome isn't it.
You want to stay in the relationship?
You want to make your marriage work?
You both want to be happy?
Then work on accepting it if he's a reasonable man and this his only vice, hobby or whatever.
I think most unless really bitter about him crossdressing will find accepting and being or playing some part in it beneficial and time worrying about it wasted time.
Emma (Wife)
We wasted a lot of time also me getting to grios with this and him finding it hard to express why he does this.
But now its out in the open we can talk laugh and joke about it and enjoy it when he can dress.
Rebecca (wife)
I'll ask Esme to read up and add some comments.
Thanks for being here Hannah your contributions have been enlightening and occasionally wild lol
Davina
I think forums like this can help quicken up the process.
I had a read back through some of this over the last few weeks there is so much information in here on everything from crossdressing to sexuality fears and triumphs staying in to going out and great videos too.
There is nothing here threatening its all good and i think acceptance is the best way.
What i know about my husband now im glad i know or it would have all been behind my back pushed into the shaddows and an unhealthy situation.
Be good if Esme would comment more as we hear a lot from you so nice to hear her views also.
Hannah (Wife)
I will take opportunity in 2021 and will as Esme to comment more, especially if new couples come on.
Be nice to read more of Esme's thoughts here and you should listen to your own advice and dress when you get the stress urge.
Emma (Wife)
I've just added something similar in another thread (by the way when is your husband signing up to the forum?)..
Theres two urges.
1- Stress (mainly work stress) - When i'm stressed out i get the urge to dress knowing that it helps me escape, unwind and de-stress. Putting this off and this is a message for Esme also.. If i put off dressing when work is getting to me its a bad thing it means i've gone beyond stress and should crossdress to help me unwind so remind me of this.. I know you say make time.. easier said than done when work is on top of me but if i do dress it really helps.
2 - Enjoyment - I enjoy getting dressed, applying makeup, trying to look convincing as a woman (Classy not Trashy as Esme calls it) and the pure escapism of feeling the clothing on me, the change ins posture in high heels and tights (with boobs) and just feeling different - Nicer as Esme says.. I'm apparently "Nicer as Davina" maybe dropping my male coat of armour. And I feel sexy.. I think i look better as Davina but then I am only attracted to women and that's what I see in the mirror the image portrayed of a woman wearing things i like to see on women and actually feeling it on me. Yes i do get why it's nice to take off a bra after a while too lol.
I should sometimes take on board my own advice and maybe write that book i'm told i should write on Crossdressing.
2020 was a poor year for dressing definitely a wasted year of "Davinas" life.. 2021 needs to be better in so many ways in work and home life and my escapism.
And think I'll ask Esme to comment more in here.. I think she's settled on my crossdressing but doesn't realise what advice and help she could offer for others.
Davina
It was 6-8 months after finding my husband cross dressed that I really came to terms with OK its still him, we'd had a conversation head not gay, not doing this to attract men, he doesn't want to be a woman and he doesn't want to live full time as a woman.
Reading Davinas blog helped as it mapped out another couple coming to terms with cross dressing. It really does need to be made into a book Davina.
What took Esme 8 years to finally meet you OK I met on day one but really met 6 months later and by 8 months I was fine with him dressing and well into our girls nights in and indeed I took him out of his comfort zone outside.
I guess if you think like that we wasted an agonising 6 months of worry and Davina and Esme wasted 8 years and times of boredom when you can't dress asking him about this he agrees when you can't dress is when you seem to want it the most and it does seem like wasting time.
I feel for you tgirls not being able to dress when you want to and need to dress.
Emma (wife)