By: Sindy

Subject: Escalation

I used to frequent an online support forum for crossdressers wives and got to know some amazing women. It was awesome and their stories were heartbreaking, inspirational and even funny (one lady put itching powder in every new lingerie purchase her husband made that he didn't think she knew about!).

Anyway, this group was re-routed by the creator (an ex CD wife) to another forum because trolls attacked the previous one and most wives left. No one uses the new forum but the creator still posts and this is in her latest:

'The cost we often ultimately pay as CDW down the road is that the condition normally escalates and many marriages have lost intimacy.Forever.'

She used to warn all of us of this escalation on the old forum. The wives back then would remind her she was speaking subjectively (her ex husband was a seriously messed up fetishist type who sprung it on her one drunken night). Though, I do admit the few times I've frequented the crossdressing forums I've noticed a bit of 'egging on' and men appearing to brag about doing more, more, more. Either crossdressing is a progressive 'condition' (her words again) or men make it progressive by pushing their own comfort level.

What does everyone here think? Davina and Katie, do you think it's progressive?

Emma and Hannah and any other wives reading here, do you worry about escalation? I do, but not as much. That forum tried very hard to make me worry. BUT I also had made connections with women whose husbands had been dressing longer than Id been alive and then some! Their husbands had actually lost some interest. It wasn't the big escalation as predicted. I'm sure this happens with the 'Bruce Jenner' types, but do you think your husbands are at risk? I don't think they are, but I'm really worried about most wives out there hearing this toxic information and living an anxious life. Escalation is not inevitable. :(

But I would suggest that any husband who doesn't want to become that selfish guy who does escalate the dressing, avoids crossdressing forums as they encourage competition and bragging. Instead, go to a support group in person where men will have to look you in the eye instead of telling tales on a laptop. There will be far less bragging at a support group! I haven't been to one myself, but the feedback I got from those who had is that the online forums are built on lies.

Anyway, all thoughts appreciated. It's still one of my touchy buttons, this escalation stuff. It's another marital deal breaker. I know it happens, but I can only assume the man who allows it to happen either hasn't fully accepted who he is, or he's a narcissistic git who gets a thrill out of pushing boundaries.

Thoughts?