Must be so hard to have to stash things in work and not be abke to dress fully and get properly glammed up.. It does my head in I've gone from being bored just dressing whilst I work from home to not having that option available without taking a chance my oldest comes home from college early and gone are the put the kids with babysitters and have a girls night in.. So I'm at a stand still currently again. Relief Yes inexplicably I get immense stress relief from crossdressing and find my conscious state becoming Davina as a character my wife recognises as nicer than male me.. That's a development my whole demeanour changes and how in hood myself, how I walk and talk. But I need all or nothing .. Makeup, hosiery, lingerie, heels, dress and wig or not at all. Dissapointment We all suffer this when we think we have opportunity for some well earned relief and escapism then plans change or one of the kids is ill.. Having too much stuff I had a day off earlier in the year with the kids in school and wife working from home a try on and throw out with her opinion on dresses many now out of fashion off to the charity shop.. £100s of dresses but all hand me downs of the wife that she was getting rid of as is 90% of Davinas wardrobe.. I don't like spending money on Cross dressing. Frustration I snapped at my wife over something of nothing earlier and its a mix of things mainly work frustration and life in general I just can't sleep, can't unwind, can't relax and can't do what I know would magically help.. Cross dress. I've got some opportunity to travel and stay away with work coming up but meeting 2 other colleguea its not easy to say I won't meet you for a beer and lunch after work at the hotel or a bar.. I could but I'd seem antisocial. I'd love some proper uninterrupted quality time as Davina. Realisation I'm suffering with stress and need to slow down in work or face burn out. I actually need crossdreasing.. I need escapism .. Even a break from work although at the time refreshing there's no one to cover my role when I'm off so the week I'm off I have that work to catch up with when I return to work. So my realisation is my work life balance is not in a good place and neither is my mental health. Opportunity My only option is going to be to take a chance when my oldest is in college.. And hope I don't get caught. Your edit.. Dress sounds nice lol

Shifts at work have finally allowed me some time. I've put a couple of replies to other posts on her but now I've had a chance to at least get (semi) dressed for a few hours over a few separate days I'll add how it makes me feel now....

Relief. Finally being able to at least try on some of my underwear and shoe collection has been a relief. I'm in a relatively safe space and can have everything lying about with no real threat of interruption. I have the time to see what I really have, probably too much and differing sizes, so the chance to try things on undisturbed has been a blessing.

Disappointment: I've probably got too much 'stuff'. I need time and space to go through things and put aside things I really shouldn't have bought. I'm disappointed with myself for getting into a situation where I saw something and made do rather than having waited. Fortunately I don't spend too much on my clothes and get most from Ebay for between £5.00 - £15.00 with the odd exception. I'll drop off anything I think is decent to a local charity shop or clothes bank so I don't feel too bad about downsizing the wardrobe (I might even list some on TVChix as Ebay and FB Marketplace would show up to my wife - not dealing with that situation 😁).

Frustration: I'm hugely frustrated I can't dress more frequently (as a lot of us are). I've no real opportunity to travel away and my wife only works part time and has never really been away overnight without me or the kids. The one time she went away with her side of the family the kids stayed at home and she arrive back completely unexpectedly the next day due to accommodation issues. I'd love to be able to have a day once a month to myself but I really can't see that being possible in the near future.

Realization: I'm not a spring chicken anymore and my work contract isn't never ending. I'm going to have to leave one day and considering I'm fortunate to be able to store my clothes etc at work I'll need to find a space at home for them one day. Not looking forward to that tbh but it's in the back of my mind. I find myself thinking more and more about stepping out fully dressed, at least once, before I consider myself past it (will I ever🤔), so the realization of having to downsize the wardrobe and give myself more options, should the opportunity present itself to step out, is real and I won't be in a place where I find myself with nothing to wear 🤔.

Opportunity: A chance to reassess and regroup. I do not need to buy things just because they look fantastic or the material is what I like. I need to keep a theme in mind and be able to work with what I own, at least the majority of it, so that pieces work not just by themselves but with others to create the 'look'. I have a list on my phone so I now know what I need to buy to get to where I want to be. No more wild spending on things just for the sake of it.

There is probably more I could write but I think that's enough for now.

Love you all ♥️

Edit. Well what can I say, had a quick look on eBay, sorted into the view I wanted and up came a gorgeous black and lace dress over a cream undelayer with a zip up front. Now, despite me saying I won't buy anything that doesn't fit with a theme, this does and it will go with a lot of other items I have. I don't have a dress like this at all so on with the bidding with 3mins to go. Very impulsive but couldn't resist. I'm going to have to stop looking......

Sorry this a late reply! My crossdressing has had to take a backseat for 5 months! Our house is never empty (three grown up kids, two on weird shifts and one with a baby) so there is never the opportunity. I have looked at other alternatives (a hotel is the best so far) but these involve extra costs, an explanation to the kids and I am not sure the wife will be happy with that. She has noticed my demeanour has changed, I am more snappy and sometimes "lose it" too easily! We have talked, mainly about money as a stressor, bills going up and no extra income means we have less every month, but I have also hinted about the lack of stress relief in other ways, me being able to dress for instance. What was interesting was we were watching the television last night and there was an obviously gay man on there, wearing outrageous clothes, my wife commented "what does he look like?" and my daughter responded "so what, let him dress as he wants, your so judgemental mum. It does not matter if he dresses as a man or a woman, let him live his life". She does not know about Sarah, and my wife is still "don't ask don't tell" about it, so I shall try and find a way of broaching the subject of a hotel!

Glad you had a good day Davina. Seems like you had an interesting day. I'm still doubtful I'd risk full on getting dressed at home, even with 5 hours spare, so good for you. A quick try on to see if something fits is about as much as I'd dare. Can't legislate for things going wrong beyond my control i.e. buses cancelled, shops or attractions shut or just a change of mind which means family members turning up at home unexpectedly. Not for me. I've given up quickly trying things on at work to, nearly caught in a dress and twice nearly caught when trying on a pair of shoes and a pair of boots. Need to plan things better in future. I'm 50% sure one of my colleagues suspects something as it didn't help the shoes arrived at work through the post with no box...pretty obvious what they were tbh, block heels and all😂😂. Maybe it's just me overthinking this but I can't help to wonder. Anyway, will have a fair amount of time next month away from family so will finally get a chance to have some time dressed. Quite excited tbh, which is a thing my family don't think I do as I supposedly don't show it much, but I am. I've been thinking about being dressed a lot lately. Especially as it summer and the fashion is to wear very little, lighter dresses or shorts/skirts and vest tops etc. I can imagine its so easy for cis females to just put on a t-shirt bra and pair of knickers and throw a light summer dress over the top. Something I'd love to do but it takes so much more for me. I can't go stocking free on my legs as I don't (read can't) shave them and then there's the shapewear I'd need (and maybe a corset) to give me a better figure. If you had to include hip enhancers (which I don't have btw) then that's a whole load of effort and support which I'm jealous of that a cis female doesn't have to go through. I saw a lady yesterday morning walking her dog, she had a light summer skater style dress on in a powder blue colour and a pair of plain sandals (I think, difficult to remember as I drove past). She looked gorgeous and I though I'd love to emulate the look but it's soooo not easy to do! I wouldn't say things like this depress me though, yes I'm jealous it's not so easy for me, but I can get my 'fix' in a different way.....it just takes a bit of thought as to the choice of outfit and a bit more hidden 'support'. The idea of a Zoom get together sounds interesting. Who's knows, maybe one day.

Today was the best day working from home, talking to you and sometimes Sarah Jane made my work go super quick and I manage to achieve what I needed to do. See, us girls can multitask!

Truly envious my friend as not dressed for more than 20 mins this year. I'm craving all things feminine at the moment. Hopefully I'll find some light at the end of the tunnel.