By: Sindy

Subject: Holiday outing...

Here's a question for y'all:

It seems the silly season can send quite a few people literally silly, and I remember years ago finding out that a couple of the husbands of wives I chatted to managed to get 'outed' by family over the holidays.

My question to the men here is why is being seen and discovered such a common need for men who crossdress? Even the very private dressers seem to have spells where being 'outed' would make them happy. Why?

For the other wives here (and hubby's can answer on their behalf), would your husband outing himself be a dealbreaker?

I don't really know the answer to the first part as I've seen a lot of this 'oops, I got caught dressing' stuff and it's always perplexed me why men would take these risks. I mean, once Aunt Bertha and Uncle Fred know you're a crossdresser, that's who you will be to them. People don't compartmentalize these things very well. I've asked my husband once whether he'd like being seen as 'the crossdresser' and he didn't really understand why people would think that. But they do. Gay people are often referenced as gay first. Sad but true. So if you're outed, you're essentially putting yourself in a tiny box labeled 'Crossdresser'. So why do they take this risk?

As for the second part, yes, it's a dealbreaker for me. Im not interested in an alternative lifestyle, especially someone else's, and once you're out then so are all your relationships by default. I have zero interest in that scenario so my husband knows if he messes up, then our marriage is likely over. Very depressing thought. This is why when everyone says crossdressing is harmless, it is when it's controlled, but it can also be very damaging if it drags other people into lifestyles they didn't agree to. I saw a very sad video a few years back of a broken looking woman whose husband suddenly came out as a crossdresser, started dressing all the time, even at work, and forced the whole thing on her and the kids. The poor woman looked on the verge of a nervous breakdown while he was giddy with joy. I doubt very much their marriage survived. :(

So, definite dealbreaker for me. If I wanted to live an alternative lifestyle I can think of something infinitely more fun than crossdressing. I think I'd rather join the Furries. At least they're cute and cuddly lol!!

Thoughts?