Great to hear from you Sindy you worried us.

A positive that youve had a chat with him opening up communication is a start Im sure more talking will help

I have many friends but very little in the way of close friends but thats mainly as im not the type of bloke who does boys nights out prefering to spend time with Esme and the kids.

Also Im an individual and free thinker i dont go with the crowd i tEnd to make up my own view on things local and globally crossdressing is a mere small part of me but a part I enjoy which doEsnt interfere with my married life apart from the odd girls night in.

Doesnt ypur husband separate himself from his crossdressing ?

Sorry for the grenade! lol

Just answered some posts to show I'm okay!

Sp yep, you know, just plodding along as always. Had a lot on my mind as you all know and have had a lot of general things on which is a good distraction. I have had a small chat with my husband and I think we're both in a bit of a bad spot in the marriage right now. It's hard to see how we will fix it, but neither of us want the family to tear apart either. It would kill the kids, and we obviously had something special once or we wouldn't have kids!

He's concerned everything is bad because of the dressing. He can't change that and so it looks hopeless in that way. But from my perspective it's also how the dressing has been communicated and dealt with and I told him that. We have tried counselling before but most are quite useless with crossdressing. Even when they know about it, they are prone to saying it's normal and not much you can do about it.

I will take each day and see how we go. But I do think, while the crossdressing isn't the entire issue, that it has altered who he is. I sometimes wonder if he didn't have it in his life whether he'd be less shy and withdrawn and almost detached from people, even me. He has close friends but all from way back from school days and has little desire for new ones. He gets on with people, but I've had feedback that's he's also quite reserved and I do think his crossdressing has a hand in that. It has made him a person who can only ever share some of who he is with the world, unless he decides to tell everyone and live openly. And then he'd still be seen wrong as all he'd be is that crossdresser guy. But he is so much more than that.

So I get it's hard. But I don't get why he thinks crossdressing is fun when all I see is a guy who has partially stunted his own life for a secretive habit. But maybe that's because I'm not a crossdresser so I don't see this clearly.

Anyway thanks for the thoughts. Getting by here as best we can.

Hoping youre ok Sindy

Sindy. We're worried. You throw a grenade and retreat!

How's it going?

Katie

Hey Sindy hows things?

Xxxxx

Oh Sindy so sorry some of us seem to enjoy and be ok with crossdressing maybe Davina is right its the way its been communicated but does sound like hes taken you for granted over the years?

Both Katie and Davina mentioned marriage guidance? Would you try it? Or talking to him about your feelings first to See how he feels like Davina said does he reaise you feel this way?

Hannah (Wife)

Dear Sindy

I think that all of this goes deeper than crossdressing. The crossdressing may have been that catalyst and the focus of your anger but it seems that the other issues mentioned are the ones causing you the most pain.

I don't think his actions are typical of the crossdressers here as we all have the utmost respect and love for our wives. I know that they all probably wish we didn't crossdress but no matter how much they may resent it I think that they have all forgiven us with their understanding. They have been able to move on. I'm sure we've all apologised for bringing it into the marriage and we each have our individual reasons but it was never done to hurt our wives.

You understand crossdressing and what motivates us as well as anyone with the questions you ask but you still cannot forgive him and your resentment has grown over the years. I think it is his actions and the type of person he is and not the act of crossdressing itself. I don't try and compete with my wife and never will do. I'm not trying to replace her and we work well as a team.

I've always thought of you as being an attractive woman (underwear model is every young (crossdressing) boys fantasy) and my crossdressing has never changed the way I feel about my wife sexually. I can't imagine why he would want to shun you in favour of crossdressing.

As I said I think that your problems run deeper than just crossdressing and I really think that some marriage guidance would help you to resolve these issues one way or another. Talking to friends is all well and good but sometimes you need an independent person who may tell you both some hard truths. I know that you've said that you both talk but either it's not getting through or he's choosing not to listen.

Somehow you need to make your feelings known so that you can move on as a couple or on your own.

I wish you the all the best and send a cyber hug. Davina has my email and happy that she gives it out to anyone here who needs a chat.

Katie

"I used to think resentment was the number one predictor of divorce, but I’ve recently changed my mind. If a person is resentful, forgiveness is possible. Or the couple could change the behavior that precipitated resentment in the first place. It’s a lot easier to forgive someone if the person quits hurting you!"

I hope my crossdressing never hurts Esme there’s no reason for it to hurt her unless I decided after years of marriage I wanted to become a woman and that’s never gonna happen.

I’ve appologised to my wife for being a crossdresser also at the time questioning why I’m appologising but it’s more an appology of I can’t help this it’s something I do sorry for putting you through this.. I stopped and it started again and sorry for it lets talk about it lets sort out arrangements and needed to assure she was ok with me as a crossdresser making sure I answered all her questions and there was nothing for her to worry about in terms of sexuality or sex change etc.

I think the big difference is myself and Esme and others are really open about our crossdressing and talk about it quite a bit if we need to talk about it which is still sometimes difficult but we do it and if we’re not happy with one element or another we resolve it but maybe you’ve not had this open discussion and let eachother know exactly how you feel about crossdressing and your overall relationship?

It may be inante to us men who crossdress but also very occasional and not at all in your face if it can be helped.

I can’t rule out at some point in time stopping crossdressing if I don’t find it “fun” any more if I can’t look how I want to look maybe it will come to an end as I cant see me getting a grey wig and cant wear a blonde one forever.

Its wrong of him if he has upset you highlighting any flaws you are perceived to have (that must be very hurtful) and it must be hard if you think he is competing with you which is something I’ve never thought of with Esme as I don’t compete with her to be the pretty girl of the house I just dress competing with her is not something I’ve given an iota of thought to nor want to do.

What is it that makes you think he’s competing with you?

As for not wanting sex with you that’s just sad as I’ve been depressed and stressed but always shown affection to my wife and sex isn’t something I’d ever turn down with her or try to get her in the mood for.

Sorry to hear you’ve lost respect for him you guys really need to have a talk about this or maybe some marriage guidance.

It may come as a huge shock to him that you feel this way and he may not even realise hes making you feel this way?