Dear Coleen,

I have to be so secretive whenever she’s around.

I really love the feel of lingerie against my body and order things from Victoria’s Secret at least once every month.

I like to wear women’s hosiery ­whenever I can, concealing it under jeans or trousers, but I’ve never been out in public dressed in women’s clothes.

I think all the time about wearing make-up and even want to become a woman properly.

Davina - This is beyond our forum but we have had a few t-girls come on asking advice about transitioning and from the off I point out I've no experience past cross dressing so hard to help out in this situation.. It must be hard for someone who wants to be a woman.

Am I crazy? Do I need therapy?

Davina - Some of the t-girls on here have sung the praises of the therapy they've had.. It must be nice to be able to pour it all out to someone there to listen.

I just don’t know whether to tell my girlfriend and risk hurting her and our daughter.

Davina - If there's a thought and want to transition I think this is something you have to tell your GF or wife if serious about transitioning.. Cross dressing is one thing but transitioning is really life changing for a tgirl and a of/wife.

I’m 40 years old and depressed about it

Davina - I get depressed sometimes about work and life getting on top of me and made worse if i need my escapism crossdressing but to want to be a woman deep down stuck as a man it must feel awful.

I even started taking pills to enlarge certain parts of my body to help me feel more comfortable with my feelings, but I stopped as I don’t want others to find out

feel so embarrassed about the way I am.

Davina - Shouldn't feel embarrassed.

Should I reveal my true ­feelings or keep them a secret for the rest of my life?

Davina - Depends how much this means to the poster and how certain they are about transitioning as that's a huge decision.

Coleen says..

I’m a believer in coming out and being able to live the life you really want.

And the people who really love you will accept you and others will walk away, and that’s something you would have to deal with.

Davina - I've read this with cross dressing, transitioning and sexuality and sad that it a still the same person same personality but people abandon someone when they reveal their deepest secrets and want to live their lives.

There’s a chance you’ll lose people you once felt close to, but at the same time you won’t be living a lie.

Davina - You only live once be happy.

Of course, this is easier said than done, but you’re clearly not happy with the way things are and are struggling with keeping it a secret.

Yes, it will be a shock for your girlfriend initially, and the chances are she won’t be able to deal with it.

But you’ve already admitted she doesn’t excite you so, in the long term, this relationship probably isn’t right for either of you.

I also think you need ­counselling – not because there’s anything wrong with you – but because you’ve admitted you’re depressed and you’d benefit from talking through your feelings.

Davina - I think this advice is spot on in this case with depression and wanting to transition.

It would also help to get in touch with like-minded people who have gone through or are going through the same thing as you – look online for forums and support groups in your area.

Davina - The beauty of why do men cross dress as a forum.

Part of the problem is that you probably feel very alone and that no one will understand you but, trust me, I get many letters from guys who are struggling with similar feelings.

This won’t go away, so it’s all about how you deal with it.

I would also get advice from your doctor if a sex change is ­something you’re considering. Good luck.

Davina - OK this is a step further than us lot but again Colene proving herself a good advisor.