Thanks for your post. As someone who has yet to venture out into the wider world as Orla you touch on some of the apprehensions I have.

Clearly its a good idea to find LGBTQ venues for safety reasons but some of the dedicated trans nights like LFF appear to be on the wild and loud side. Still happy to go gigging in male mode but as a 60+ would be nice to have a gentle introduction for my feminine side.

Stockings dilemma an interesting one. Definitely like to wear them but advised given height etc that tights are the way to go if I want to have a chance of passing.

That "type" are all about the need for attention, nothing to do with political / human rights

causes, just want to be seen, be spoken about, prodding peoples offence barrier

just to get a reaction.

The Super camp gay/ the bearded man in half a dress etc etc, all characatures of themsleves..

needing attention they probably lacked as a child, as they were painfully dull and lacking any personality and therefore friends...

which btw id argue mostly is the issue/cause of the current "self identify/gender neutral" modern kids have taken a fashion for.

Do more damage to the "causes" they are supposed to be forwarding than anything else, but its not what they care about,

#UnpopularOpinion

Interesting post.

Apologies if any aspects of this post upset anyone. It's not meant to! Pride events, if I'm honest, I'm not really a fan of them. I am often described as fairly laid back in my life, I don't worry too much about anything really and see myself as being on the glass half full, rather than glass half empty, side of life. From what I have seen in the media, I always feel Pride events are just that bit too ostentatious, just too far 'out there' for me. It's almost as if it's being forced on me, an excuse for anything goes. There's also that sense of if you dare to criticise, you're doomed! You're classed as Transphobic, homophobic or anything else phobic! By all means have your event (but for a whole month.....the tail may have wagged the dog too much for me on this one) but if this is your thing, then go for it. Would I go to such an event, probably not, would I be involved in it, probably not. Weirdly, Pride 2023 came up as a top pick in my Sky Q programme guide today.

I certainly agree that society has moved on, mostly for the better, in recent years. Tolerance of an individual's way to express themselves has also moved on although, like anything, there are still areas that could be improved. Unfortunately, because of other individuals bigoted beliefs, it will undoubtedly take more time and still never get to a point where society fully accepts all individuals preferences.

When I first joined this forum I had no clue that as a Cross Dresser I was actually included within the definition of 'Transgender' and that I would be 'on the spectrum'. I just didn't realize and had never really looked tbh. I still don't think of myself as transgender, I don't desire to be a different gender however I do express myself differently, some of the time, to my birth gender, so yes, that's included within the definition. At the end of the day I just enjoy dressing in female clothing! The colours, the styles, the textures, everything really. I'm OK with being labelled a CD but I don't particularly like the term Transvestite. I don't know why, I just dislike the word, always have done. Even if Eddie, or now Suzy, Izzard (and she doesn't actually mind what name you call her) was often referred to as Transvestite, it's a term I still don't like.

There's definitely a difference between trashy and sexy. I'm not sure that actually boils down to just stockings though! As a man, I definitely class stockings, or hold ups, in the sexy category. Can't say the same about tights unfortunately (sorry Davina). A business woman in a nicely styled and fitted skirt suit, skirt to the knee, or just above, and wearing stockings is definitely sexy and not trashy! I think we men often like to believe that women wear stockings 100% of the time but I'm not naive enough to think that's true. It isn't. The media, lads mags (RIP), Page 3 (RIP) and porn all portray women in stockings as sexy and desirable. I can't say I'd think the same if I saw pictures of the same women in tights! They just don't do it for me. I'd prefer to see the same woman naked than wearing tights! I hope that I dress smart, classy or stylish (well that's what I think in my head). I'm not one for wearing mini skirts, crop tops or stockings showing well below the hem of the skirt with my male physique, body hair unshaven and stubble or a beard. Now that's trashy! If you can't make an attempt to 'look' womanly, why bother. I see pics fairly frequently of guys wearing these types of outfits but if that's your thing, it's not mine, and I scroll on by. That's the sort of image that I feel portrays the majority of cross dressers in a negative fashion and potentially hinders acceptance. The only thing I don't do is use make-up but at least I don't show stubble or a beard if I take a photo.

I'll hopefully get some time away from home in a few weeks. I've a load of new things to try and I can guarantee a few won't make the grade but not because they're trashy, but because I think they're just not suitable for me. I may buy cheap, mostly, but hopefully I don't look it.

I didn't pack Davina was a hubby and wife night out out Peter Kay was side splittingly funny.

I'm all for people expressing themselves LGBTQ any other letter including S for straight but if you want to be a woman or represent/present as a woman please dress appropriately.. what we saw demeaned femininity and women..

One guy short cropped hair in heeled boots a nd Plaid miniskirt and t shirt.. he had a fan and on it the word C U N T.. what's the point in that?? Disgusting and taking advantage of Pride month just to be disgusting.

Saw a young guy in a denim mini dress and boots early this morning no make up or wig just the dress and boots.. I said to Esme that has no appeal to me I'd need makeup and wig and a want to look like a woman.

Absolutely would have been the perfect opportunity. Would Esme have joined you or would you go alone? Much nicer with company or a chaparone to ensure Davina was a good girl 😂.

As you mentioned earlier it's definitely becoming easier to come out although still not easy. Particularly when the media can turn against trans people or horrible people like jk Rowling spout hate.

I'm glad that younger people don't generally have too many of these hang ups although I'm sure there are still bigoted backwards areas where it will be always difficult to come out.

You need to strike while you still have the opportunity. Why not ask Esme to go with you this morning before leaving Cardiff for a little outfit shopping for the 2 of you? 😉👌