So then, where's the forum agm to be held then Cardiff, Brighton, London, Manchester, or somewhere else? 😂😉 Joking aside it would be great if oneday there was an opportunity for us all to have a social. I know before I'm told its tricky, but it would be a blast. I'm now on the wrong side of 45 and so feel time might not be on my side but I'd like to still remain optimistic for a few more years yet. We'll all pop round to yours Davina for a make up masterclass. 😁(I do actually say that as a compliment).

I think I have to agree with Davina and Emma Alta in that it does seem much easier for this generation to be open about waaay more things that I could have hoped to have been at the same point in my life. I think my life would have taken a vastly different path if that was the case back then but hey, different times and (only some) small regrets 🤔. Its interesting to hear how different areas of the country or towns and cities may be more accepting than others. Cardiff would not have been on my radar, per se, unlike say Brighton (Crossdressing Lifestlye on YT anyone) or even Norfolk (Melanie T on YT). I'm getting to that stage that, tbh, I'm not sure anyone is too fussed about crossdressing and whether someone is trying to pass or not these days. Given the opportunity after a makeover I'm fairly sure I'd be happy to go out to a pub or cinema etc although I'd probably want some moral support being the first time. I'd put too much pressure on me when probably nobody really cares that much. My boss left recently and 'the office' descended on out favourite pub in Stamford. Four hours later I had to leave but after I'd gone (I learned this the following Monday) a gentleman dressed as a lady, probably doing a reasonable job of trying to pass by all accounts, was seen in the pub. It did illicit some comments on Monday morning at tea-break but these were not offensive or critical and it seemed that most of 'the office' were reasonably accepting of said individual. Given the environment I work in I was expecting much worse but times are a changing, hell we can even put out preferred pronouns on out emails..... Work that one out 😁. On a side note, my daughter is looking at Uni's for 2023 and onwards. Manchester Met sent a brochure this weekend and I was slightly surprised that Manchester had a dedicated Gay village that is close to the Uni which is obviously LGBTQ+ friendly. I wasn't aware such areas existed tbh but I've not seen heard of another one that I can immediately recall, as yet, although as I said earlier, Brighton aside. Honestly, who really cares how anyone wants to express themselves these days. It may be difficult for family, friends and colleagues for some of the 40 and 50+ year old bracket in this group but outside of these.....so what 😁???

I don't think anyone who knows male me seeing "Davina" would think omg he's a cross dresser. Confident last night with my wife in Owainglyndwr pub that if I was dressed I'd have been OK as Davina.. I think I'd have been read also think the various hen dos may have approached and made a fuss of me and some of the men there if they'd sussed me if I was dressed may have given me some funny looks. Would I be brave enough to go to a mainstream "muggle" pub as Davina in Cardiff with my wife.. Probably yes but I'd be in a side booth away from the main thoroughfare of the pub I expect. If we went to an LGBTQ pub I know of two locations in Cardiff and someone had seen me there yes I could question why they were there too but we have gay friends and colleagues so it would still be an outing of myself as a T girl.. More likely Esme would be recognised than myself and 1+2 = 3 omg that's her husband cross dressed which she doesn't want.. Think it would be fun to try some wigs on Esme see how she looks as a blonde and then she has a disguise too..

To your second point about going out close to home, I can only offer this by way of lived experience. When I first started going out openly, my wife was very reluctant for me to go out close to home, and we did spend a lot of time driving to places like Bristol where there were events on and I was 50 miles from home. Gradually, I guess, I wore her down and now it’s open secret that I only go out in Cardiff. The way I rationalise it is this. The population of the city is, for the sake of argument, a quarter of million. I know for the sake of argument 30 people in the city. You only have to do the math to realise that the odds of anyone running into you are infinitesimal. Mostly, my friend and I tend to go out to mainstream venues. However if you choose to go to the LGBTQ places, then the secondary argument applies that if they see you there then what were they doing there? They’re not going to call you out for it are they?

I don’t think they were T in that sense of the word. I think more likely celebrating (???) end of term before exams in fancy dress. I passed a load of teens in a suburb this week and there was more than one set of fishnets - not on the girls!!! There is a wider issue, which I think you’re making well, that in the younger generation do that in fancy dress, or otherwise and there’s not attract a second thought. If I tried that when I was 18 I’m sure I would’ve got laughed out of court by my friends

I believe for younger people, with no real responsibility then life on the trans spectrum is undoubtedly easier - note not easy - than it ever has been. The problem is that because it is not easy, then when you have responsibilities the ability to be open about it pretty much vanishes. I am pleased society is becoming more tolerant - but being in my mid40s means it is really too late for me To properly take advantage of it with my friends, family and work colleagues. However, it probably does meant that visiting the right locations en femme is more realistic

Therefore, I wonder how far away from home is ’safe’ for us?

(I’m pretty sure I don’t know anyone in Cardiff and my company does not have an office there - perhaps I need to head to Cardiff!