I have given up trying to figure out what it is that makes me want to be feminine. I spent so many years hating the fact that I felt this way, really wasting the opportunity to be myself. All that time wishing I was 'normal' and not having to sneakily dress up and wear makeup and feeling guilty about being so turned on by the feel of these beautiful clothes and in seeing a pretty woman in the mirror instead of the usual so-so man.

I have learned to accept and embrace my desires, It is still sexual, but I can keep my 'urges' under control and enjoy the thrill of dressing throughout my whole time whilst dressed; I tend to dress and wear makeup all day, most days and see it as part of my personality. I have no desire to transition, apart from wishing I had some real breasts (and a cute little girly nose!). Although I am not out to anyone apart from my partner, I will dress androgynously when out and about, in female skinny jeans, tops etc. I know I can't stop dressing. I have tried and failed. I am lucky to have the support and encouragement of my partner who also shares and enjoys my dressing up pleasure.

My only regret is not having been more open about dressing when I was young. I feel like I have missed so much. I can be a 'bloke' when I want to or have to be, but I much prefer being the woman.

There's always been a sexual element, basically it turned me on. A lot. I've been spending the past couple of years trying (on and off) to work out what the basis of it might be though. Even though I don't dress anymore, it reasserts itself every now and then and I find myself logging into reddit and posting an old picture, or thinking about the "good old days". It soon passes without the need to break out the fake boobs... mainly because I don't have them anymore :)

From my point of view, it’s difficult to say. I’ve tried over the years to work out what and why I do it, but can’t really pin it down. The closest I come to is “answer d”… all of the above 😁