I've mentioned this before here or maybe in my old blog about how often Trans discussion occurs with friends or work colleagues and today in work one of the "Managers" who is as camp as Christmas but will tell you he's so macho was ridiculing a Trans person he'd just seen in Tesco.
"Old guy in a dress dirty flat white heels orange wig and makeup looked a mess"
I'm visiting the depot listeing to what may be said yes as a few blokes laugh and ridicule then one of the girls in the office (a new girl) pipes up "What's wrong with that if that's how he feels and wants to dress?"
In my head I high fived her and chipped in to back her up "Yeah what's wrong with that then? seeing you're sporting two diamond ahem cubic zircona earnings" to which everyone laughed at him. He said "Well it's ridiculous" but then said "but have you seen some of these trans 'things' better looking that some women I'd shag them" whch got him more laughs.
She went on "So if that guy in Tesco had lo0ked more convincing you'd be more accepting of how he looked and dressed and knowing you.. you'd have followed her around the store oggling and letching her"
He said "Probably"
She said "You're transphobic"
He said "So if you came home and found your boyfriend dressed in your knickers, bra stockings and high heels you'd be ok with it" and she said
"What's the harm in it it's only clothes" to which he said "Ok and hes got lipstick and a wog on" and she said "He'd probably look good as a woman so what?" that kinda shut him up as another woman said he had a problem with his masculinity and maybe he should try crossdressing or maybe he is one putting up a front trying to act macho as he's a crossdresser.
I was laughing and high fiving the girls in my head ... they'd never guess I crossdress but good to hear women defend crossdressing as "So What" although i suspect a lot of women would think 'Nothing wrong with crossdressing... as long as it's not my husband" but maybe this is changing?
Davina
Oh right, that's another question I've pondered, what would we do if we started working with someone and realised or suspected quite strongly that they where a dresser?
Would you be completely discrete and say and do nothing, and make no attempt to broach the subject, or at some point, drop the odd hint, just enough to give them the thought you could also be a dresser?
I know that between trans girls, if they are dressed and no one suspected them and they make eye contact or sat down in front of each other on a train or bus, either they would not let on or just move to another seat, this seems s to be an unwritten understanding.
With me never going out I've never experienced this situation, but if your in drab, guy mode how could it be dealt with?
Cat xx
Wasn't someone I come across in work often just visiting one of our depots
Wasn't someone I come across in work often just visiting one of our depots
That's interesting, the statement,"Oh I read crossdressing is a way of relaxing"! If you weren't a dresser you wouldn't know it helps you relax and second it's stuck in his mind even if he'd come across that article by chance, so probably has the thoughts and the urge aswell! So yes I'd say your not alone, I'd keep an eye on him and see if he shows any other signs or says anything else.
Cat x
I was in a different office today and one of the Engineers has gone off on the sick and someone said he needs to find some way to relax and one bloke said he should take up crossdressing and everyone said what? and he said oh i read crossdressing is a way of relaxing... aaahaaaa i'm not alone .. they went on to call him shirley etc it happened as i was walking out of a briefing but i gather it went on after i left..
Just remembered, the other day I was listening to the blokes talking about dressers and trans and gender fluid, and smiling to myself, when one of them just spouted, "well, I think they are sick in the head!" I shot him a dirty look, and thought, well, your work mate here that your looking at right now must be really sick then, want to see how sick i am?!! But I didn't of course.🙂
xx
Some trans conversation is just 'banter' but when it’s banter I always think ok which one of you taking part in the banter is the crossdresser??
Some trans conversation are inquisitive. Why? Because one is probably a crossdresser gauging peoples thoughts on crossdressing...
Some trans conversations are uneducated. What's all that about? And inside although we dont want to out ourselves we’re crying out to educate people..
Some trans conversation are transphobic; Pervert.. Sad that this comes into peoples thoughts back to education as its not all about sex or perversion it is portrayed a lot to be all about sex.. Look at the Sean bean film where he’s a crossdresser and men are after sex with him as her etc etc..
I think parts of the trans aspect people can deal with but crossdressing is still something people joke about. People don’t know about the urge, escapism, destressing properties and the fun some of us feel crossdressing.
"These people just change their gender at a whim" … don’t women do that when they dress in more male type attire? But that’s ok as society accepted that but they are struggling to fully accept crossdressing..
Is crossdressing “Gender fluid” ? It’s certainly a nice escape and would be nice to decide I suppose sometimes when the urge takes me to present how I felt like dressing but does that make me gender fluid. I don’t think it does I’m happy with Crossdresser.
The whole you have to do it thing is subject to “why we dress” as for me there is an urge but I do find it FUN.
Well done Emma defending Trans in work .. it is complicated and you must feel shall I or shant I say anything.
It felt great seeing women in work defend crossdressing.
Davina
Iv e heard men joke about it in work i don't get involved Don t like confrontations theyr e just ignorant or hiding their desires to Cross dress
Rebecca (wife)
Iv e defended the trans issue in work.
No ones ever said does your husband Cross dress they've said how would you like it and iv e said live and let love of he was wearing my knickers so what.
I've been there scared of his dressing but look at us now happy with it i even sometimes encourage it
You "girls" have to be careful you don't want to put yourselves but is women can chip in and support easy enough without suspicion.
Emma (wife)
A pretty coherent replay after 5 pints Katie!! I'd have no chance of operating electronic equipment after that many🤣🤣
Your pretty much spot on with those categories but the only one I have trouble with is the uneducated ones, yes i hear "What's all that about, but I also get the comments of " these people just change their gender at a whim" they seem to think you just decide one day your a man and will dress like a man, the next day they fancy being a woman!!! I want to put them straight on this point but to say anything would arouse suspicions.
They seem to have trouble with the gender fluid thing, but what they don't understand is you don't dress for fun, you dress to fulfill a need, yes I like the fact i can be male one day and female the next, but they don't get the principle that you have to do it.
Cat xx
Ok. Not the best time to reply to a post, after 5 pints but here goes.
Some trans conversation is just 'banter'. Only 'Katie' at the weekend lol.
Some trans conversation are inquisitive. Why?
Some trans conversations are uneducated. What's all that about?
Some trans conversation are transphobic; Pervert.
Most of the time it is due to a lack of understanding and if people are educated then they don't see a problem. Hopefully now is a time where trans issues are receiving more press and people will become more educated.
But there will always be this who cannot cope with difference. Life should not be a binary choice. Live and let live.
Katie x
I'll comment more later on this as i face this nearly every day in work, and you hit the nail on the head in that last point Davina, "as long as it's not my husband I'm ok with it" well, guess what dear!!!🙂
I'll talk about this more
Cat xx