By: Katie
Subject: Transphobia
Davina asked why there was a danger in getting beaten up or murdered for dressing as a woman.
I believe that there are a multitude of reasons why you might get beaten up for dressing as a woman but I think that they all stem from a challenge to masculinity. Many men feel that males are superior to females and anything that challenges that view must be dealt with in a masculine way which is often violence.
I also believe that many crossdressers are victims of homophobia because quite often they are associated with being gay. There is also a element of misogyny which goes back to the idea that some men have about men being superior to women and any man wanting to imitate a woman is being weak.
For some it is just a challenge to their gender identity and the insecurities they may feel about their own gender identity.
I read an article about the harassment and violence against transgender people which I guess includes crossdressers in the broadest team. For just walking down the street or to the shops a US survey of 402 older, employed, high-income transgender people found that 60% reported violence or harassment because of their gender identity. 56% had been harassed or verbally abused, 30% had been assaulted, 17% had had objects thrown at them, 14% had been robbed and 8% had experienced what they characterised as an unjustified arrest.
I often wonder what drives crossdressers to actually want to venture outside the front door when all this hatred and ridicule awaits. It is a brave person who can take on all this and walk tall.
By: Sindy
Subject: Re: Re: Transphobia
Now, see, I find the comment 'something as simple as us dressing like women' to be very ironic. There is absolutely NOTHING simple about crossdressing. However, the questions you get asked are so simple and obvious they're ridiculous. So why do people think you're gay? It's not because you're acting effeminately. Or because they think you're Ru Paul. It's because the majority of women are attracted to men, therefore when you pretend to be a woman you must be doing it to attract men. That's it. It's such an obvious thought process that it actually makes me laugh that you're all so perplexed by it. Seriously??
What is NOT simple, (though Davina is showing her crazy by suggesting it is lol) is the fact that straight men want to emulate women in the first place. How on earth is something so illogical, simple? It's the antithesis of simple and I actually know of wives who would have preferred their husbands WERE gay as the reality that a straight man would want to look like a woman is so perplexing it hurts their heads! And any human with even half a brain will automatically connect the next dots which are- 'Man likes woman. Woman likes man. Man makes himself look like woman. Woman no longer likes man.' Again, simple, and it's the main reason straight women are not usually attracted to crossdressers. Yet these obvious thought processes seem to perplex everyone here for some reason, and I've even read of husbands reasoning that their wives don't like it because they're religious or bigoted or maybe it's her hormones. Um, no. Your straight wife just isn't attracted to you when you dress as a woman. She expected you'd look always look like a man, sort of like she expects death and taxes. But no, you had to go and complicate that, didn't you!
So yeah, sorry, crossdressing is anything but simple.
As for getting attacked when dressed, it's probably everything Katie mentioned but I think the main reason will be the very basic fact that straight men don't want other straight men fooling them. And they do feel fooled. It's every straight dudes nightmare - hitting on a chick with a dick haha. So again, don't over complicate the reactions. You're the ones doing the complicating when you pretend to be something you're not. Personally, I don't see male identified crossdressers being embraced by Joe Public any time soon, if ever, as you don't make sense to them. Transwomen make sense. Gay people make sense. You're just a big pot of contradictions and confusion and I still don't know how y'all can't see that.
By: Sindy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Transphobia
And actually, I agree here Katie that accepting some people won't like men crossdressing is the next step in cross dressers getting on with their lives in peace. Accept and avoid because there is no law that says everyone must like you.
Avoid the haters!
As for society changing its views, well it has. It is far more accepting of transgender people than ever before. But the Davina dresser is not transgender and society doesn't know what you want from it. I'm not sure crossdressers know what they want! Its an occasional behavior that is not based in identity so does it really deserve a place in society? If so, then where do you draw the line. Would society also have to accomodate men who dress as furries? Star Trek fans?
I do ask the hard questions lol.
By: Sarah tgirl
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Transphobia
I've experianced it myself being out recently as Sarah a mob of men quite frightening imagining if id been a real woman confronted by them.
I threatened to kick their backsides but thinking later what if one had hit me with me in high heels and a dress not so easy to fight back.
By: Sian Tgirl
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Transphobia
Sad isn't it.
We can play at Crossdressing but for others its real and the threat sadly is real.
By: Katie
Subject: Re: Re: Transphobia
To pinch your own quote you may not understand why some people will react adversely, you just need to accept that they will.
Until society changes it's view of crossdressers we are destined to harassed and abused.
Being a transgender woman is becoming more high profile and in it's own way it is becoming acceptable by society. However, crossdressers are not transgender women in the sense that the general public understands. Our dressing is a form of gender expression whereas a transgender woman dresses because of gender identity and the clothes are just a marker for her gender.
By: Davina
Subject: Re: Transphobia
I still dont get it
I mean you tell your wife you crossdress she asks "Are you Gay? Do you want to be a Woman? Is it my fault?"
They're hurt betrayed and angry over something as simple as us dressing like women which is how society has brainwashed us is right from wrong...
Then on the other hand some men would beat up a t-girl or worse for being different, being able to express some form of femininity ..Its a sad world
See my blog "I had a dream" lol woke up this morning with a surreal dream about tomorrow night.