Hello all. A few days ago I never imagined I’d be writing on a crossdressers’ forum. I had a brief conversation with Davina on another platform and she asked if she could use something I’d written on a forum she ran. I was flattered and not a little confused. I’d just seen what I’d written as the start of a hoped for conversation – a little awkward perhaps, trying to say things about me and things that I thought I could see in her and basically laying the groundwork for a conversation based around crossdressing, which is the nature of the platform. Anyway, I was very glad that Davina thought I’d written something of interest to a wider audience.

I was even more glad when I had a look on these forums and saw that it was full of open, honest, sometimes light, sometimes heavy conversations. Without fully knowing it, this was something I’d been looking for as someone interested in the crossdressing world for a while, but not really finding anything intelligent and, frankly, written by relatable people.

Anyway here I am. But as I started reading through some of the forums, I came across some issues and debates concerning an “admirer” who posted on here some time ago. I had skipped into this site with a light step, but was stopped in my tracks when I saw posts vehemently questioning the inclusion of admirers in these, often difficult, conversations. The challenging part was that I could see their point, even as far as words like “creepy” were used.

So, it seems obvious to me that I should start a discussion asking the straightforward question: should admirers be on this forum?

To set out my case only briefly I will say the following.

Firstly, the word “admirer” is a label that covers a wide range of people (although I assume the vast majority are men). It’s not a tag I like since it does indeed have creepy undertones, but I’m sure many on here are better experts on unsatisfactory catch-all labels than me. But if we are to discuss things we need names for them. What is accurate about the term is that I do admire the very few crossdressers and trans women that I’ve met in life. Without exception it seems there is a struggle, both external and internal, to express themselves, and that struggle can be lifelong and bring into its sphere people they love. For that reason I want to hear their stories.

Secondly, I come on these forums in good faith. I am mainly looking to read past forums and follow any current conversations, but I would like to post if it seems right, if I feel I could give a different view. However, I absolutely recognise that there are conversations in which I can have absolutely no valid part. Some of the most powerful posts and testimonies on here are from married crossdressers and their wives and their stories – a glaringly obvious discussion I can play no part in, just like anyone without that personal experience.

And lastly, I am very open to be challenged. I have no confidence I can give satisfactory or even coherent answers to any challenges, but I will never be in any way abusive and will try and understand any negative views of me and respond accordingly. Ultimately, if it feels the right thing to do, I will leave.

This is a vital and frontline site and I wish to be a very small part of it, but if that is a problem then I will, with regret but no hard feelings, leave.