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Hi. My name is Chris, but i use the pseudonym Becca

in New member intro

Hi everyone. I recently joined and hope this is a better forum for me.

Right now im currently having serious doubts in my marriage, but cant simply step aside from my other side.

Open to answer any questions openly and honestly

7 comments

7 Comments

ally4322022

Jul 06, 2023

Hi Becca, I can only offer my sympathy but reckon for your own mental health that it may be time to call it a day. Obviously I know very little about your situation but it sounds like every time something goes wrong your dressing is used as a weapon against you.

It doesn't matter if it's not what your wife wants you to be as it can't be helped. None of us make a plan to be born this way. I am only now starting to accept myself and stop hating me. Basically what I'm getting at is she is using your dressing as a form of verbal bullying to belittle you. I truly hope I have misconstrued your post and things can be worked out. Take care xx

Davina

Jul 04, 2023

Becca nice chatting on Chix the other day.. Maybe your wife would like to read some of the posts in here and see there are accepting wives.

Gender fluid - Now that may be a new topic here as most of us would call ourselves t girls or crossdressers some of us want to dress a lot more than we do, some in secret, some with wives accepting and some with wives unhappy with crossdressing.

For me it's all or nothing i cant just wear something fluid i need makeup wig lingerie, hosiery dress skirt heels etc or i dont bother endulging which limits my already limited crossdressing.

There are wives on here who your wife could chat to and network with and possibly find some acceptance.. no harm in trying?

She can even read the posts here without joining.

Davina

Becca Riot

Jul 04, 2023

Replying to

This is where i tend to be. Im either full glam or very happy in my plaid shirt and tacticool dress sense. However how i express shifts, and sometimes get disphoria when feeling masculine but in wig and heels just as i get the other way.

Although as i am working on my own internal acceptance and breaking down my own internal transphobia i have had less of an extreme emotional rejection or swing. Having a complete meltdown when i cant get a dress to sit right for example.

Chelle (R’s Wife)

Jul 04, 2023

Sounds like this is something to be thrown in your face constantly to keep you in your place and make you tow the line - sorry if I’m incorrect in reading it this way 😳

Becca Riot

Jul 04, 2023

Replying to

I hope it isn't. I wont try to explain my wife's story, but there was deffinatly gaslighting by her former partner before she ended up homeless.

I am inclined to think that she worries the same will happen leaving her in a worse possition to recover from, as she is emmigrated to the UK with me.

Rachel

Jul 04, 2023

Hi Becca

Good to have you here.

By you saying you having serious doubts about your marriage but can’t step aside does your wife now?

Becca Riot

Jul 04, 2023

Replying to

She found out about 9 years ago. At that time i didnt know genderfluidity was a thing and probably expessing myself not in the.most healthy way, but she found a picture of me in a corsalette and exploded. Later she tore through the house and found what i had missed on previous purges.

So for next 7-8 years i supressed all urges and threw my energies into work and climbing the property ladder out of renting.

Mid pandemic after working 50-60 hour weeks and finally buying our own home. The chains broke on the closet.

It was however through reddit reddit and rejoining the website (chix) that she found me on that i lead that fluidity was a thing.

A friend on chix encouraged me to be more open and honest which initially went ok-ish. But now i waon eggshells around home as my dressing has been brought up by her whenever were not on the same page.