Hello, I have been interested in cross dressing since I was in middle school, and a female friend put me in a dress. I am nearing 40, and recently had a huge upheaval within and decided I wanted to dive into cross dressing and fully transform myself to the fullest extent I ever have. It's been years since the last time I did it and then I stopped at panties. I decided to come right out with it and tell my wife. She is not thrilled to say the least. I feel confused, fearful, empowered, excited and congruent. I'm not sure where this will lead, but I'm sure I have a very feminine side that is screaming inside and wants to come out!
We've had a few more join recently and I've had a load of messages in the last few days from tgirls on tvchix.. being in the top 10 tgirls must have got people reading my profile so hopefully more t girls and I'd love to think a few more wives join.. don't be shy introduce yourselves and say hi or ask anything if we don't have answers we certainly have support.
Hi I am a 55 year old married cross dresser. I am so deep in the closet you would struggle to find me. I dare not tell my wife as I fear the consequences - divorce , kids disowning me etc… I have come here to make friends and accept any advice you may have.
I thoroughly understand your fears. I waited 21 years before telling my partner for fear of the consequences. Eventually I told her just a few months ago, terrified by what might happen. To say I was astonished by the positive reaction is an understatement. Sometimes taking that leap into the unknown is worth it. You never know until you try it.
That's two of us then 😁. Everything secret. I feel guilty sometimes but too far gone now to think about changing things.Welcome btw
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Unknown member
Jun 07, 2021
Hi all, Sarah here. Like many I started trying on my mothers and later sisters (she's 6 years younger) things and finding it both a release and exciting. At 16 and a half I joined the RAF and despite participating in "manly" things like hard drinking, chasing women (unsuccessfully) and other things men were expected to do. I secret I would dress, experiment and often drive several miles to different towns to buy clothing so I would not be seen by anyone. I always felt I was more attracted to the feminine form than women themselves, but never felt any attraction to men. I also never considered it anything other than a strange perversion/kink/twist and not something I could share. Then I met a fantastic girl, fell in love and swore my crossdressing days were behind me. When we were courting (a lovely old fashioned word) I tried to explore he feeling son crossdressing, but she was repelled by men who did that and said we would be finished if I did it! Like many I purged (again) and threw out everything, convinced I was never going to dress again, after all I was in a new house, married and getting used to married life!
But as many will testify, the old urge came back, and for years I dressed in secret, when the wife (and then kids) were not around but also when away on business or courses in hotels. Over the years I managed to perfect the art of hiding stuff away in the loft and getting it out for trips so I could be Sarah for a few hours at a time. In the early days I met other crossdressers for meals and even a boat trip on a river with about 20 others, a memorable day! Lately the chance to meet has been few and far between, mostly when on business trips or when taking my daughter back to uni and staying over night in a hotel. The recent pandemic meant I had to work from home as the office and client visits were stopped, meaning dressing was next to impossible and the stresses of daily life were having a huge impact on me. Fortunately my wife has learnt to listen to my rants and raves and smile and nod and then when I have blown off steam give a few words of insight and support. To be frank, without her understanding and compassion I would have been far worse off during the pandemic than I am. As it is I am working through some work related stress issues and I am lucky in that my line managers recognise that and are supporting me.
However things changed dramatically a short while ago. I had ordered some underwear and had it delivered to a local shop for collection. When home I put it in the back of my wardrobe, hidden behind some clothes until I could try it on for size and fit. I was aware my wife had disturbed it but not that she had seen it, then one night when we were in bed she asked me the question, "Who's underwear is in your wardrobe"? She instantly thought I was having an affair, and it took a lot of convincing to persuade her otherwise! I confessed, knowing that 20 plus years of marriage were about to end, I would be looking for somewhere to live and quite possibly alienated from my children, To my surprise she did not explode or throw me out, we talked until 4 in the morning, and she agreed to try and understand, and we are now working out ways to compromise. As it says in the Bible, love endures all.
Lots of things in here that many girls will have in common with your Story Sarah.Pandemic wise it was stressful and cross dressing has become something that helps my mental wellbeing.. Also we fret what our wives would say or do finding out we cross dress ... Fingers crossed many women are becoming more liberally minded about cross dressing.
Hello to everyone, my name (after some deliberation with my partner) is (possibly only for the time being!) Cara.
I'm from Tyneside, ancient and a long-time crossdresser. I have recently come out to my very lovely and wonderful partner of 21 years and instead of all the negative things I expected, she has accepted my dressing and is fully supportive and encouraging.
I stumbled across this site and have been reading various threads so will apologise in advance if I become guilty of reviving old threads 😀
Welcome and nice to read of another t girl with an accepting wife.I hope you do revive old threads as good to look back on some of the conversational we've had on here and reviving sometimes helps others who haven't seen all the chatter on here.Davina
I hioe your wife will join as the more wives we have here tinlend their experience and opinions the better for the forum as its as much a soundboard for wives and GFs as it is for T girls seeking advice and someone to raise opinions with.Not worried about Zombie threads fire away.
Hello, I’m Sophie, I’ve decided to stop hiding and let the real me out..... I’m married, she knows I dress but doesn’t approve. a hurdle to be overcome I suppose.....
Dressing since I was about 11. Why? Not sure but have theories...it was a sexual thrill...it was something 'different'....I could be the girlfriend I wanted but didn't have....I could be the real life woman in the girly magazines...the thrill has never left me & I guess it never will.
Hi. I'm m Suzanne and I've just joined. Middle aged and been crossdressing for many, many years. I don't dress often but take every chance I can. I have used a couple of dressing services over the years which I really enjoyed. I do prefer my own clothes if I'm really honest but that's just me. I started dressing in lingerie (made many mistakes and occasionally still do) and am still learning to buy what I call "suitable" items of clothing that fit me how I like to look. That's probably enough for now so I'll see you in the chat soon.
HI, One and all I thought is polite to introduce myself and say a thankyou to all involved in the running of the site and to everyone who contributes it is nice to find a space on the internet that actually informative, helpful and constructive. As a form of introduction I like to believe I'm a good listener and try and help good folk out. I have been active within the community for quite some time both my business and youtube channel are focused on my lifestyle. If I can help out in any small way then please reach out I will try to assist if possible. Thanks for reading and good luck to everyone. XX
I am 55 and exploring my desire to wear frilly and femine satin lingerie.
I am not sure where it will go, but I am looking to see if wearing the lingerie I find beautiful will free me from the standard male roles the our society has engendered in us.
@Davina That is a complicated thing. The short form is that I always have loved the look and feel of womens' lingerie but only thought of what my partner could be wearing. I finally accepted that I like the look and feel of them on me. I have purchased a few things recently though only one has arrived.
Don't expect telling to open the gates. Our wives can react in many ways. Decide what you want you life to look like after you tell your wife and don't be disappointed if it doesn't quite work out as you hoped. There may be boundaries put in place and a bit of give and take on both sides.
Only Della knows her wife and how she may react or if shes dropped any hints she'd accept crossdressing.
not wanting to put anyone off but some things you plan and you think i'll tell her this or approach it that way and the response one of horror or rejection or a quickly changes subject.
Certainly need your answers to hand on telling a wife my first 3 or 4 were No No No and No
Are you Gay?
Do you want a sex change?
Do you want to live dressed as a woman?
Is it my fault you're a crossdresser??
Worth having a good chat here with others and formulating a tactic a) How to tell and break it to a partner and b) how to handle several reactions and then c) how to assure and reassure and show it's a big deal but not a big deal ie nothing to worry about.
Della hi. I do empathise and sympathise, I’m sure we all do. I agonised for a long time before telling my wife, initially it ‘went well’ I guess you’d say : the initial shock, questions, then acceptance and a brilliant tolerance, eternally to her credit (hope that doesn’t sound patronising). Now, years and years later, in a way which I’m finding hard to describe very well, it’s almost as if ‘fessing up didn’t change anything day to day - I can’t just off to the bathroom and come out dressed like Shirley Bassey. I miss ‘it’ dreadfully right now. But our routines will probably recalibrate again in the next few weeks or months we all hope. I can’t give a wife’s perspective but this forum is a treasure trove of opinions and perspectives which might be useful before having ‘the conversation’.I’ll shut up now x
I hope the person concerned doesn't mind, but just read this on a profile on tvchix and it did make me laugh...
"Yes, for the record, I’m married and my wife knows, always has.
I would say she tolerates more than accepts but has never tried to stop me, but I know she would rather I was a knife throwers assistant in the circus than a tranny, but I didn’t choose it, it choose me!!"
HI Della that's a big decision.Have a read here first and maybe let the wives here know a bit more about you and how you want to tackle telling your wife and see what they think and what advice tgirls here who have come out to wives can help with.Welcome to the Forum Davina
@Nicky Woods Personally I'm glad I know my husband is a crossdresser but we're all different. I struggled with it at first and found chatting on Davinas blog and here helped.
Maybe I'm not the right wife to ask as it seems I've encompassed the more racy side to all this which I'll explain in a sec.
Only you know your wife and can gauge how she may take the news you're a crossdresser and how she may react.
I think there's lots of information here that can help the both of you in you telling her and her having something to read and support here if she wants to ask any questions of other wives.
Karen O on here felt betrayed others of us were scared we'd lose our husbands because of this but if it's explained the right way and I cant tell you the magic formula for your right way then it can work.
Davina and Esme took 8 years, Emma and her husband it was a few months and the same with me and my husband.
The more racy side and why I've got the title of the sites resident sexpert is I wanted to know more about my husband and what he did dressed so told him i needed to see and he was on tv chix and from there when dressed he'd go into skype and chat to others and I'd watch and listen to the conversations and see that some got off over him dressed as a woman which to be honest turned me on a little. Seeing really good looking men lust after your husband dressed as a woman was a little weird at first but seeing these young fit well endowed men did it for me lol. Then someone suggested cam4 and chaturbate and how you can make money doing this so one girly night in we tried and set up an account and lots of men women and t girls tuned in to watch him and we set up this pay per view option eg take off dress 100 tokens and wont go into other details but he started making his "girl money" being pimped out and sometimes i'd join in on cam with him with a wig on and lace mask to try to hide my identity.
There's more i wont go into now but we have a lot of fun with his crossdressing, a little different from other couples on here..
We've chatted to Davina on cam and a few others but not a sexy chat just a nice chat about dressing and normal things and was nice to see Davina dressed and for her to see my husband does exist and they complimented one another and talked about makeup techniques some of which they knew more than me lol.
It's a big deal @Nicky Woods and you need to gauge how she will react.
You know her better than us.
I caught my husband dressed but i don't put this out there as a good idea it was a shock so don't plan on her catching you but be prepared that one day she may catch you.
I think you need you time together and say to her something like you have something embarrassing to tell her and don't want her to freak out as it's perfectly normal but you like to sometimes crossdress. I don't know how often you do it or why you do it or if you've taken it out of the house or if you're a private crossdresser but you need to have answers ready for the usual are you gay or bi? do you dress in her things? do you want to be a woman.
Also be prepared for tears and her not wanting to talk about it.
Bring her here even maybe mention there is a forum on this she can read other wives views as some of us have been in her shoes with crossdressing husbands and lived to tell the tale and are fine with why they do it how they do it and being involved gives us a degree of control over it.
I hope this helps
Hannahs kinky reply may scare her off (Sorry Hannah)
A lot of chat on many sites is just that chat. Some or all lot of people chatting it is simply that chat. It is more about what their alter ego would want in their head.
Yes I think I would love to be able to dress and pass I think. It is very strange that all my photographs of me in clothes are 98% headless. All my pictures of my head are after software has worked its magic. If I looked even 25% as good as these pictures show I would be out dressed every weekend at least.
"I wonder how many marriages would not have taken place if the husband had told his future wife that he was a crossdresser". Great question Katie. On the other hand, how many men - when they get married - imagine that they will now leave the crossdressing behind them.? I think I probably did. That was 30 years ago!....
When I was younger and purging regularly I had a few "I'm not going to do this anymore" moments. I think I finally gave up on that in my mid 30s and accept that it will always be a part of me
I've never purged but sometimes questioned why I did it and I'll tell the truth and know others can relate.Dressing when younger I'd masterbate and orgasm and that's when I'd have to take it all off and say to myself why am I doing this right this has to stop.. Invariably I'd dress again and repeat. Now its more about relaxing but I do still sometimes get myself off when dressed but less that guilty what am I doing.
I think many of us are the same. Every now and then dress and get that turned on that they masterbate to orgasm. I relax watch a movie walk about the house. We have many mirrors around the home where I can see my skirt or dress swish and swirl. I love the movement of my clothes on me sometimes I get very excited and I take care of myself. Not a lot but it has happened.
I wonder how many marriages would not have taken place if the husband had told his future wife that he was a crossdresser. As Davina said the easy option is "bye" without facing up to your prejudice. If you are in a marriage then you maybe more predisposed to actually understand more about his crossdressing and eventually accept.
I totally get the deceit part. But I have been told things that I cannot share with anyone because of the hurt and pain it will cause. Am I wrong to keep the secret? Should I tell my wife knowing how it will affect her? If I do them I break the trust of someone else. We all face these dilemmas.
@KarenO I think it is easier now as people are more educated on gender issues. My parents just wouldn't understand but my kids just treat it as normal.
As I said given my time again I would probably have come clean but I didn't know enough about crossdressing at the time. I thought it had stopped. Something I had grown out of. There just wasn't the information generally available. I never knew it would comeback. Maybe this is me justifying my decision but knowledge does give you power to make these decisions.
@Katie Same I thought it was a childish thing i did until we moved in together i was curious what Esme had in her draws and dresses etc and tried some things on but not a regular thing.
Like i've said my dressing went up a notch her putting makeup on me first time id seen myself made up then followed the wig and now look at me thing of dressing quite a bit stuck in isolation unable to dress in lockdown with the kids off school and its become an all or nothing makeup the lot or i don't dress at all.
For me Dressing was something i've always done but developed more in my 30s and now in my 40s as something that helps me unwind.. in 20s I was playing a lot of contact sport maybe that took my time, attention and aggression.
Hi i've seen quite a few new members join, don't be shy say hi and introduce yourselves :)
Hello, I have been interested in cross dressing since I was in middle school, and a female friend put me in a dress. I am nearing 40, and recently had a huge upheaval within and decided I wanted to dive into cross dressing and fully transform myself to the fullest extent I ever have. It's been years since the last time I did it and then I stopped at panties. I decided to come right out with it and tell my wife. She is not thrilled to say the least. I feel confused, fearful, empowered, excited and congruent. I'm not sure where this will lead, but I'm sure I have a very feminine side that is screaming inside and wants to come out!
We've had a few more join recently and I've had a load of messages in the last few days from tgirls on tvchix.. being in the top 10 tgirls must have got people reading my profile so hopefully more t girls and I'd love to think a few more wives join.. don't be shy introduce yourselves and say hi or ask anything if we don't have answers we certainly have support.
Hi I am a 55 year old married cross dresser. I am so deep in the closet you would struggle to find me. I dare not tell my wife as I fear the consequences - divorce , kids disowning me etc… I have come here to make friends and accept any advice you may have.
Hi all, Sarah here. Like many I started trying on my mothers and later sisters (she's 6 years younger) things and finding it both a release and exciting. At 16 and a half I joined the RAF and despite participating in "manly" things like hard drinking, chasing women (unsuccessfully) and other things men were expected to do. I secret I would dress, experiment and often drive several miles to different towns to buy clothing so I would not be seen by anyone. I always felt I was more attracted to the feminine form than women themselves, but never felt any attraction to men. I also never considered it anything other than a strange perversion/kink/twist and not something I could share. Then I met a fantastic girl, fell in love and swore my crossdressing days were behind me. When we were courting (a lovely old fashioned word) I tried to explore he feeling son crossdressing, but she was repelled by men who did that and said we would be finished if I did it! Like many I purged (again) and threw out everything, convinced I was never going to dress again, after all I was in a new house, married and getting used to married life!
But as many will testify, the old urge came back, and for years I dressed in secret, when the wife (and then kids) were not around but also when away on business or courses in hotels. Over the years I managed to perfect the art of hiding stuff away in the loft and getting it out for trips so I could be Sarah for a few hours at a time. In the early days I met other crossdressers for meals and even a boat trip on a river with about 20 others, a memorable day! Lately the chance to meet has been few and far between, mostly when on business trips or when taking my daughter back to uni and staying over night in a hotel. The recent pandemic meant I had to work from home as the office and client visits were stopped, meaning dressing was next to impossible and the stresses of daily life were having a huge impact on me. Fortunately my wife has learnt to listen to my rants and raves and smile and nod and then when I have blown off steam give a few words of insight and support. To be frank, without her understanding and compassion I would have been far worse off during the pandemic than I am. As it is I am working through some work related stress issues and I am lucky in that my line managers recognise that and are supporting me.
However things changed dramatically a short while ago. I had ordered some underwear and had it delivered to a local shop for collection. When home I put it in the back of my wardrobe, hidden behind some clothes until I could try it on for size and fit. I was aware my wife had disturbed it but not that she had seen it, then one night when we were in bed she asked me the question, "Who's underwear is in your wardrobe"? She instantly thought I was having an affair, and it took a lot of convincing to persuade her otherwise! I confessed, knowing that 20 plus years of marriage were about to end, I would be looking for somewhere to live and quite possibly alienated from my children, To my surprise she did not explode or throw me out, we talked until 4 in the morning, and she agreed to try and understand, and we are now working out ways to compromise. As it says in the Bible, love endures all.
Hello to everyone, my name (after some deliberation with my partner) is (possibly only for the time being!) Cara.
I'm from Tyneside, ancient and a long-time crossdresser. I have recently come out to my very lovely and wonderful partner of 21 years and instead of all the negative things I expected, she has accepted my dressing and is fully supportive and encouraging.
I stumbled across this site and have been reading various threads so will apologise in advance if I become guilty of reviving old threads 😀
Hello, I’m Sophie, I’ve decided to stop hiding and let the real me out..... I’m married, she knows I dress but doesn’t approve. a hurdle to be overcome I suppose.....
Dressing since I was about 11. Why? Not sure but have theories...it was a sexual thrill...it was something 'different'....I could be the girlfriend I wanted but didn't have....I could be the real life woman in the girly magazines...the thrill has never left me & I guess it never will.
Hello everyone, Caitlyn from Essex here. Nice to meet you all. Lifelong dresser and looking to make some new friends x
Hi. I'm m Suzanne and I've just joined. Middle aged and been crossdressing for many, many years. I don't dress often but take every chance I can. I have used a couple of dressing services over the years which I really enjoyed. I do prefer my own clothes if I'm really honest but that's just me. I started dressing in lingerie (made many mistakes and occasionally still do) and am still learning to buy what I call "suitable" items of clothing that fit me how I like to look. That's probably enough for now so I'll see you in the chat soon.
Nice to have you here Sophie love your videos
Emma (wife)
HI, One and all I thought is polite to introduce myself and say a thankyou to all involved in the running of the site and to everyone who contributes it is nice to find a space on the internet that actually informative, helpful and constructive. As a form of introduction I like to believe I'm a good listener and try and help good folk out. I have been active within the community for quite some time both my business and youtube channel are focused on my lifestyle. If I can help out in any small way then please reach out I will try to assist if possible. Thanks for reading and good luck to everyone. XX
Hello there all
I am 55 and exploring my desire to wear frilly and femine satin lingerie.
I am not sure where it will go, but I am looking to see if wearing the lingerie I find beautiful will free me from the standard male roles the our society has engendered in us.
Hi Della
Don't expect telling to open the gates. Our wives can react in many ways. Decide what you want you life to look like after you tell your wife and don't be disappointed if it doesn't quite work out as you hoped. There may be boundaries put in place and a bit of give and take on both sides.
Katie x
Della hi. I do empathise and sympathise, I’m sure we all do. I agonised for a long time before telling my wife, initially it ‘went well’ I guess you’d say : the initial shock, questions, then acceptance and a brilliant tolerance, eternally to her credit (hope that doesn’t sound patronising). Now, years and years later, in a way which I’m finding hard to describe very well, it’s almost as if ‘fessing up didn’t change anything day to day - I can’t just off to the bathroom and come out dressed like Shirley Bassey. I miss ‘it’ dreadfully right now. But our routines will probably recalibrate again in the next few weeks or months we all hope. I can’t give a wife’s perspective but this forum is a treasure trove of opinions and perspectives which might be useful before having ‘the conversation’. I’ll shut up now x
Hi
New member here and Im seriously considering telling my wife as Im missing the dressing so much
Hello new members I'm Hannah a wife here.
Looking forward to hearing more from the new girls and partners.
HAnnah (Wife)
Some great discussion and good for our new members to read and see the support and debate here 😍
"I wonder how many marriages would not have taken place if the husband had told his future wife that he was a crossdresser". Great question Katie. On the other hand, how many men - when they get married - imagine that they will now leave the crossdressing behind them.? I think I probably did. That was 30 years ago!....
I wonder how many marriages would not have taken place if the husband had told his future wife that he was a crossdresser. As Davina said the easy option is "bye" without facing up to your prejudice. If you are in a marriage then you maybe more predisposed to actually understand more about his crossdressing and eventually accept.
I totally get the deceit part. But I have been told things that I cannot share with anyone because of the hurt and pain it will cause. Am I wrong to keep the secret? Should I tell my wife knowing how it will affect her? If I do them I break the trust of someone else. We all face these dilemmas.
Katie x