Steam my clothing do not steam your boobs they will be destroyed

You steam your tits? Not tried that.

It can be very kinky if both the good lady and myself are in lingerie. We can have a very special night together wink wink. But that’s between married couples so why not. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom and is very enjoyable. Coleen

Some of my best friends are perverts Emma. Hang on, all of my friends are perverts! 🙈

Oy we're not perverts sounds like you lot are wearing knickers to cure erection problems 🤣

Emma (Wife)

Hours?

Erectile problems wear knickers stockings and high heels and badoing it will stay up for hours 😂

Let’s just be grateful the ad isn’t ‘erectile problems?? have you considered...wearing your wife’s underwear?’. That would be awkward to explain.

Haha yes love having the wives comment here .. Hang on its 13:20 I'm watching football its half time and what advert is on.. Do you have errection problems? Why is that on this time of day. Loads of kids watching.. Dad what's that mean 🙈 Back to the wives great having them comment her is fab and seeing an insight to their level of acceptance. Even better to read they've fully embraced the kinky side to cross dressing. Agree.. Perverts 😂

The sun is out, outside in the snowy garden buds are starting to show, I’ve just epilated my butt cheeks, all is good x

Total respect to the comments on here. I guess maybe I could say if I’m on my own then it’s more about expressing, in some form anyway, a feminine side of myself, it seems natural. If then a partner was involved in a sexual way it’s ‘kinky’ because that’s not generally been considered how ‘normal’ sex happens. But let’s not overthink it maybe - it’s great to be able to speak and hear opinions in a non-judgemental forum (you perverts). x

You've been pretty open yourself Davina we can expect it from Hannah but masturbation when dressed as a woman that's a kink and one it seems you've had since a teenager?

It is kinky if you want to see it that way.

I know there will be some t girls here who will say its far from a kink but think we see a bit of a divide? in that some of you tgirls take this much more serious than others.

I've noticed this in a lot of posts recently here.

Does the "Davina type" crossdresser treat crossdressing with a bit of wit and not as a serious thing? noting like us we have this private joke about our dressing we can laugh and joke about it and I take it Esme found it fun teasing you openly knowing the children wouldn't get the private joke yesterday in your Captain America Pjs 🤣

I'd like to see other wives views here here's mine.

Crossdressing has its serious side but easier to accept more light hearted for a wife if you can laugh about it together and not take it too seriously, hes not running off with the postman as a woman, hes not about to have a sex change its escpaism and fun for him and why not make it fun for both of you.

We have sex with him dressed and I'll agree with Hannah sex with him as a t girl hes certainly more turned on and its very enjoyable i just shut out he looks like a woman first time was in the dark so couldnt see him but could feel what he was wearing but then i was wearing lingerie also i got over it as it was pretty good sex.

So there is a kink to it i think it's kinky dressing my husband up as a woman and having sex I also feel a little bit dominant over him when he's dressed and i think I like that so another bit of kink.

Crossdressing is kinky

Emma (Wife)

Think you're the only couple here this open about the kinky side of cross dressing as a couple. I wonder are there any others who take crossdrssing to more of a level of kink? I'd just enjoy some time dressed to unwind. Davina

Crossdressing doesn't have to be kinky but with us it most certainly is a kink.

His dressing does have an element of relaxation but we're quite a highly sexed couple in our 50s and have over the last 3 years had a voyage of discovery of his dressing, web cam fun, watching guys get off over him dressed as a woman, girl on tgirl fun which i find the sex better than when hes in man mode as he's extra turned on, sex toy fun including pegging (strap on) which is most definitely kinky and no it does not make you gay to have your wife do this to you and we've both explored our sexuality around crossdressing and discovered the thing i was scared of most him being gay or bi is ok its controlled he is bi when dressed and we discovered that together and it scared me but also turned me on to see him with another t girl which again is kinky and a week later the t girl introduced me to his wife and she seduced me so we're both now card carrying bisexuals which i also think is kinky.

So in our relationship crossdressing for us has spiced things up and we are definitely a kinky couple.

For others its not about sex I know and i think that's more main stream dress to relax.

Resident Sexpert and Kinkstress

Hannah (Wife)

I reckon 🤔

Esme says if i went to fancy dress as a woman people would suss I'd dressed before

I wouldn’t say no to being either of those two at the next fancy dress party. Nooo, I mean a likeable character in a boook who happens to enjoy playing Mrs Slocombe (eh?) every now and then. Anyway. So question - if you were invited to a fancy dress party and someone suggested going as a womanly character...would you, and love it? Or would it be obvious you’d made too much effort and were relishing it far too much ?

Davina to answer one of your earlier questions, possibly an effective way to destigmatise crossdressing is to use a sympathetically drawn character as a central figure in fiction. Maybe it’s less explanatory and more revelatory. Maybe I’m blowing smoke up my arse. x

Oops sorry didn’t mean it like that. I meant in the humblest way possible, women have generally an instinctive eye for what works and what doesn’t. Grovel. Ironing? What female attire do you have that needs ironing?! My tits could do with some creases but otherwise can’t think of anything...?

Bring her along then, sure we could use some fashion advice. Maybe she could go into the local village pub first, say do you have a table for me and my girlfriends?...then we can all stumble and totter in heels and ask in a deep voice ‘table for 9 please’.

No wives allowed? That ain't gonna fly Esme would do anything for time away even a cottage full of T girls lol

I’ll hire a cottage with 10 bedrooms - 9 for the lads and 1 for clothes, shoes and hip pads

Your cover is well and truly blown ... don’t ever think of becoming a spy Davina x

We’d work it out from your accent Davina. Or if that failed I might say ‘Jurgen Klopp is a twat’ and see who punches me first🤔

Meet as blokes you mean? You'd never guess as you'd meet Alpha man ✊

Maybe we should all meet up post lockdown to get hammered and see if we can guess who is who. Ahem no maybe not.

Not 8 current friends but I was trying to think of friends and colleagues over the years and could count up that number. Actually 9 now I think on it - previous neighbours moved out last year, husband was the least likely tv you could possibly imagine...first time I spoke to new neighbour over the fence he told me he found a huge bra and knickers and some dirty mags underneath the garden shed when he knocked it down. Bit sinister actually! Anyway.

I don’t know Katie but bringing hogs into it definitely counts as kinky.

I think that the point I was trying to make was if a wife suggested a little tie my arms and legs to the bedstead game then that might be classed as kinky. If she suggested we both wear a basque and stockings is that still kinky? Is that more acceptable to a wife than us going the whole hog? I know a couple of the wives here have indulged their husbands with a little sexy time as their feminine selfs. Is that kinky?

Kinky sometimes seems a little less threatening if it's done right.

Could a wife cope better if she thought our crossdressing was a kink?

Katie x

Davina yes the edges are blurred aren’t they between fetish, turn on, relaxation, part of you which needs to be expressed. As you say, if your thing is being hung upside down and slapped repeatedly with a large haddock, then it would be difficult to imagine getting any work done at the same time. I totally get what you say. There is an arousal generally at some stage but if I’m dressed for a day, that whole time I’m escaping, very few or no thoughts about the mortgage and the dog’s diarrhoea intrude, it’s a rare chance for pure escapism. It’s almost as if you can be self occupied but it’s not ‘your’ self, it’s another self. I can think of eight friends / colleagues over the years who I absolutely, categorically know are transvestites (he said it, he said the word, call the police!!), just from a sixth sense, seeing their discomfort and reaction in conversations, a mutual unspoken recognition - one of whom I saw on a dressing service gallery and recognised - a couple have said things to me to show they know I know they know etc. Starting to sound like the bloody masons. And I can understands this sounds fanciful but honest guv. It seems that most of us from chix are reluctant to meet up or be unmasked. I guess this is natural. I told a therapist once. That’s about as far as I’ve gone except for my wife. How about you/s ? I don’t know the Adler book, will check it out. x

Love this reply Liz,

I think people rope us in with kink and part of me say yes that's right as sometimes I'm just relaxed as Davina and sometimes i dress and think sod this it feels nice i like how i look "I'm gonna get myself off" yes at the rip old age of cough cough i still masturbate when dressed sometimes so is that part of it a kink and also crave some "sexy time" with Esme which is also a kink? and only occurs if she is very very drunk when we have a girls night in, but in the whole and main i just like to dress and relax the "turn on" of dressing and being dressed calms down after a short period of time and I'll be sat here dressed just working away as Davina with tape over my webcam...

Do these other kinky people have urges and yearnings to be tied up, flogged, dommed etc? no idea..

Crossdressing is definitely something that's always there the whole bloody time, nudging, itching, pestering, why aren’t you expressing your fem side, come on make time to unwind and dress up.. you know you want to and you know you need to?

Yes I said "need to" also as it's become a coping mechanism for me I crossdress as I enjoy it and find it fun and love the transformation and how it feels and how i feel but its also become my stress release and now 9-10 weeks without it i know is having an effect on my mental health in lockdown no escapism... up ..work.. evening.. bath.. meal.. crap tv.. bed.. up... work ... and know we're all in this and Esme my wifes got the same but at least she can get up and put on makeup, tights heels and a dress and feel nice about herself.. I'm in joggers and a sweatshirt yearning to wear a dress and heels and red lips and dark eyes and blusher etc etc .

Yes some things are better just kept private.

A lot of T girls want to keep their crossdressing private and not tell anyone not even wives .. Kinky people though? what do they do? do you know many corssdressers personally face to face other than here? Do we know any kinky people? we do hear rumours of swingers and things but not many proclaim to like to be tied up and flogged but probably more likely following 50 shades of grey to admit to this than crossdressing.

So to sum up I've no idea what I'm on about lol oh yeah some of my dressing is sexual as I do get turned on by being crossdressed so a kink or fetish but the most part its not about that its about escapism .. I'm re reading "Something to confess" by Karen Adler thinking about Karen O and her situation and how Karen Adler reacted and realise there's excerpts from there very similar to my thoughts and worth adding here with out breaching copy right. I'll finish the book and add bits here for the wives some time this week.

Davina

Yes a lot to think on. Immediate thoughts. As a subset of general freakdom, maybe us T girls do lose sight of the fact that other other followers of their own kinky yearnings have their own internal battles going on. But then maybe they don’t because they are more able to separate sex play, habits and desires from the rest of their lives? I don’t know, but does a sub or dom or switch think about what they like to do in any other context other than a sexual one? I know I don’t, it’s something that’s there the whole bloody time, nudging, itching, pestering, why aren’t you expressing your girl side, you know you need to? Do we need to destigmatize kink, really? Aren’t some things better just kept private? At the risk of sounding like a reactionary old fart, when I see ‘celebs’ proclaiming their sexuality, pronouns, inner selves, part of me thinks well great but I honestly don’t care and don’t need to know, the announcement is purely borne out of narcissistic hubris. We just have to look at feminists and trans activists tying themselves in knots in a conceptual war of words which will ultimately benefit no one. I’m too busy making jam. x

Ok let me digest and comment on this kinky tale supplied by Katie.

Kink I agree not long ago was an underground thing but the likes of a poorly written series of books called 50 shades of grey brought it more mainstream.. and this stuff actually goes on.

Could someone write a book about Crossdressing to destigmatise it.. Would be pretty boring tho me taking the kids to school coming home, quick bath and shave then dressed as a woman makeup on and wig heels and stockings and a nice dress working on a spreadsheet for 5 hours then changing back picking up the kids from school and so on.

Why do men crossdress? "what it can mean to be afraid of one’s own desires, to feel ashamed of what the body wants"

BDSM – a wide umbrella for interests including bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadism and masochism – I wonder how many here are into this?

Is what we do a Kink? I think so .. It can feel kinky to wear sexy lingerie stockings and heels. Most of us can get turned on by being dressed and there's a history of "getting off" on being dressed for most of us.

Like Crossdressing it seems - What can result, is a lot of shame. A lot of hiding and denial, a lot of misery, of loneliness.

“We have been raised to fear the yes within ourselves, our deepest cravings,”

“The fear of our desires keeps them suspect and indiscriminately powerful, for to suppress any truth is to give it strength beyond endurance.”

This all fits in with fetish, kink and other reasons we dress and for some this doesnt apply, but like kink becoming accepted mainstream behaviour.. or i should say unlike.. Crossdressing isn't yet one of the more accepted aspects.

Davina