I've been trying to figure out how to explain the feeling I get when crossdressed. It's hard to put into words and even harder for my wife to understand. I thought that maybe a better way was to explain it from a way she may understand. So this is really to all the wives and girl friends of crossdressers. Can you empathise with this?
Assume that you've been told that you cannot wear make up, that you must cut your hair short. that you cannot remove your bodily hair, that you have to wear dull, boring clothes that do not flatter your body. Imagine that your girl friends are having a night out and invite you along. How would you feel going out like that.? You are being denied the opportunity to express your femininity. What would peoples reaction be - she must be a lesbian! I wonder if she want's a sex change?
A lot of crossdressers live with this need to express their feeling of femininity, This is denied us by society. Imagine after months of denying your femininity your were able to express that femininity. How would you feel?
Katie x
Aww Esme
i was like that once and saw a) how it was effecting him and b) how it had effected me and how people.perceived me as some.librarian pleasantly surprised the day i strolled into work new hair do a dress and heels .
He's right though he won t stop.dressing if you did go back to.dresses and heels it's a bit of an addiction now and is say for Davina a coping mechanism for stress.
I still have my flats and trousers days but I've joined Davinas black tights brigade the last few weend
If lacking confidence nothing better than retail.therapy and a makeover
.
Debenhams do a good joba makeover i had a lesson and he watched im sure making mental notes.I
Emm
Just let me rip into this lol and state that in the pie chart of why i personally crossdress a percentage of why will be in the below as with many crossdressers with wives who are content and chose comfort over style and the look which ensnared us like a preying mantis or the big plant in the little shop of horrors with the pink lips..
Esme "Men have the option to dress up or down as well. Works both ways"
Davina So we can wear trousers or trousers and a coat or a jacket maybe a t shirt or a shirt ooo we can even wear a kilt... but we're frowned upon if we wear a dress and ridiculed its not allowed. Maybe men are bored with jeans. trousers, t shirt, shirt etc and like how womens clothes feel on and look on and the inexplicable sensation it gives us loaded with serotonin which sends positive vibes to the brain inducing a calming stress busting relief .. somehow.
Esme "It’s how the individual feels. Doesn’t have to be joggers and t shirt lol"
Davina As individuals we feel nice in 'womens things' we cant explain why and given up on the why to a large extent.
Esme "I am not one for dresses etc the older I’m getting I woud rather feel comfortable and relaxed than dressing in dresses stockings and feeling uncomfortable and most defiantly not relaxed or sexy"
Davina Here's the difference folks for whatever reason we feel quite comfortable crossdressed and ok the bra can stick in you after a while lol but we also find it relaxing and sexy to dress as "women" go figure women dont feel this way maybe as it's not taboo for them to dress any way they like? it's not exciting to slip into stockings and sexy lingerie and a nice dress and transform with makeup so maybe they'll never get why we do it and back to that pie chart of why we dress ... if ones wife wont wear the things we like maybe a percentage of the why is to make up for that.
My old argument you meet a girl who becomes a woman your gf and your wife then at an unanounced date in time hang on no longer in heels and a dress oh no the unwritten law comes into play where your wife wants to feel comfort and doesnt feel sexy in a dress any more and what can we do about it.. nothing or crossdress lol
Esme "May be it is a confidence issue"
Davina "Emma!!" You wanna answer this one and explain to Esme how you fell into the comfort trap and how you feel your confidence boosted going back to heels and dresses and makeup? Esme I think it is and dont put yourself down and get your glad rags on woman! You know what happens when i see you in tights heels and a dress lol
Esme "Something to work on. Push myself"
Davina Only if you want to do it but guess what? I'd still crossdress as it's a part of me but any way i can help doing your makeup or dressing you let me know lol. Lets see what Emma says if shes about.
Esme "I don’t get what the attraction is with underwear lol"
Davina Esme we're brain washed by advertising to get turned on by sexy lingerie its on tv its in magazines and catalogues sexy lingerie is ingrained in our heads from a young age the advertising is aimed at men more than women as it's us who go out and buy you the expensive lingerie
Stockings do it for me big time as does sexy matching lingerie or all in one lingerie i cant help it and if you wont wear it i will lol but please once in a while surprise me
Esme "Each to there own. ❤️"
Davina definately and no pressure from us tgirl / crossdressers you dress and look how you like .. Sindy will interject what if your wife wants to dress like a lumberjack and thats fine as i've heard the song
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK I sleep all night and I work all day
I cut down trees, I skip and jump I like to press wild flowers I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps He likes to press wild flowers He puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars?
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK I sleep all night and I work all day
I cut down trees, I wear high heels Suspendies and a bra I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear Papa
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels? Suspendies and a bra?
He's a lumberjack and he's OK He sleeps all night and he works all day
HAHAha
Davina
Men have the option to dress up or down as well. Works both ways. It’s how the individual feels. Doesn’t have to be joggers and t shirt lol.
I am not one for dresses etc the older I’m getting I woud rather feel comfortable and relaxed than dressing in dresses stockings and feeling uncomfortable and most defiantly not relaxed or sexy. May be it is a confidence issue.
Something to work on. Push myself.
I don’t get what the attraction is with underwear lol.
Each to there own. ❤️
Bloomin ek Kate lol
Women however have the option to chose how they want to present on any given day .. we dont
Women making what we call the effort to look how we like them to look and to wear what we like them to wear seems to wain off into the 30's as women ensnare a guy and settle down ... so many turn to crossdressing or it seems turn back to crossdressing as happened with me slightly after not dressing for a few years it returned and with stress returned in abundance.
Ive had some people in chat say tgirls portray more femininity than a lot of women lol a certain look anyway makeup dress hosiery nice lingerie and high heels ... just typing that makes me feel like dressing but alas I cant today
Davina
My wife likes to get her nails done and of course her hair, i don't think she'd be very pleased if she was told she couldn't have it done anymore, oh and you can't shave your legs or arm pits as well!!😡
Ladies,
My empathy comes from the opposite side. Imagine if I was forced to wear makeup, heels, a dress, stocking and lacy underwear every day. Gah - what a nightmare. I got no time for that. What a revolution cross dressing was for me though. I mean what if I could do all those things for just a few hours in the comfort of my own home.
Bugs me.
Esme hardly ever in a dress and heels a swear word.
Love seeing her in a dress and heels all made up.
You know I fell into the contentment trap Davina and Katie and happy to say I snapped out of it started making more effort on my image which made me and him happier and opened up more talking on crossdressing and makeup.
I know whst you mean and your rant lol
Wheres Esme?
I'm feeling lonely here no Rebecca, no Esme, no Hannah and no Sindy the only woman
Emma (wife)
"Imagine that you've been told that you cannot wear make up, that you must cut your hair short. that you cannot remove your bodily hair, that you have to wear dull, boring clothes that do not flatter your body. Imagine that your girl friends are having a night out and invite you along. How would you feel going out like that.? You're being denied the opportunity to express your femininity. What would peoples reaction be - she must be a lesbian! I wonder if she want's a sex change?"
Some points:
- My old rant that women find contentment especially in a relationship and they don't realise when they make this decision to stop dressing how their partner likes, the flat shoes and trousers etc the "WTF" effect on men. What's happened one min shes all makeup and a dress, tights and heels and now flats and trousers is the norm...
- So some women make less effort and they may say but I bring up the kids, do the house work etc etc.. Hang on a minute we work, we do things with the kids, we cook and clean and iron and do the garden and the DIY around the place etc etc equality was requested and given .... but not in clothing .. yet we continue to make effort to look the best we can even when we put on weight and us men also have self conscious thoughts about our body image and getting old etc...
- When women go out on a "Girls night out" with their friends out comes the lippy, hair down, dress and heels on... we scratch our heads as she leaves the house or worse we drop them off at friends or the pub and we're left looking after the kids.. hang on she's made a hell of an effort or her firends she doesnt dress like that for me any more.. you may even think is she hoping to turn a few heads out with the girls? The slime ball men who prey on groups of girls and the danger of pills in drinks etc ... These things cross our mind .. why doesn't she dress like this for me any more when we go out as its trousers and fkats again.. This has an effect on us men.
"A lot of crossdressers live with this need to express their feeling of femininity"
- Funny for me to admit it but in a way this is true to escape the character i portray of being the man, macho, alpha male Batman finure, brave, harsh, brash, always right etc .. We have a feminine side we supress and dont let out as you get called names if you show femininity we're told from a young age.,, and we hide our crossdressing.
"This is denied us by society"
- Yes it is something so simple as clothing, makeup, shoes, hosiery and the female image denied us but women can look and dress like men unobstructed.
The fight for equality won and now they have the final say on fashion and image.. "The female image is our image you have your masculine image thats yours and equality says we can dress like men but you cant dress like us as its wrong and perverted".
"Imagine after months of denying your femininity your were able to express that femininity. How would you feel?"
- I hope to find out next week when/ if i get opportunity to dress working from home nice it will be but not quality time as I'll be on a quick change and working from home then quick change back and pick the kids up from school hoping all trace of makeup removed.
Davina
I know this is aimed at wives & gf's but it also helps me to understand how i feel as well.
Thanx Katie.
Catriona x