Hi Sindy

I think that when I said forgotten I didn't literally mean forgotten what I was eluding to was not looking at me and automatically thinking 'crossdresser'. It's not the first thing she see when she looks at me. I hope she sees a caring husband, good father etc.

As you say unless something triggers the thought I think for all intense and purposes she has 'forgotten' that I am a crossdresser.

As Davina says we've had quite a few in depth chats and I do think that most crossdressers see their dressing as part of who they are but a detached part. It doesn't impinge on them being a good husband, father etc. To a degree it is a separate personaility and I definately do not have the same perspectives as Katie when I'm my male self.

Katie

100% agree Katie especially following our chats lately.

Men really can Multi-task .. we just don’t let women know as they will want us to do even more around th house.

I’m the same Family me, extended family me, outlaw family me (lol soz Esme), Husband, Father, Football, Rugby, NFL me, Coach me, Serious me, Drunk me, funny me, flirt me, tease me, childish me, aggressive me, stern me, caring me, professional me, Crossdressing me and as Esme would say Weirdo me..

Similarly I don't look in the mirror and see a crossdresser staring back unless I'm dressed (which is a rarity at the moment.. I see me staring back no matter how I’m dressed or presenting but I do like how I look when I am crossdressed and got the makeup right and picked the right outfit etc...

How do our wives see us?

Esme you’d better answer this.. I’d say that Esme would only see the crossdresser when I’m crossdressed and it probably doesn’t cross her mind otherwise .. I’m just a pain in her butt lol … I’m her weirdo. I hope she doesnt give those answers well I don’t really care but bet its something far more sensible.

For Esme I know Crossdressing is not something she thinks of unless I mention it.

It’s such an occasional thing for me which I’ve not done since the first week of Feb 18 .. I do need some unwinding time at some point.

Sindy why are you annoyed at your husband even if Crossdressing is not the issue? Are we that annoying? We’re easily bored and when bored we can sometimes turn to wind up mode and teasing mode.

Crossdressing is just one part of us a sometimes part which the other parts of us overrule and can do without for long periods of time.

Maybe us men are nuts as we juggle all these sides of us with a major reason for having all these sides is we largely live by society rules and expectations… and maybe we rebel by crossdressing … we don’t really it’s really nothing greater than we enjoy it.. It’s a thing like we enjoy sports but that’s hard for people to understand.

Female brains are a tangle .. tell a woman you crossdress and her tangled brain says GAY, Pervert, Wants to be a woman, he’ll run off with a man, I’m supposed to be the sexy one, why is he competing with me to look feminine.. and this is where we turn the tables to these thoughts and say “Are you mad?” that’s not us.

OK women don’t want to talk about it but that means your husband or boyfriend who maybe needs to talk about it is bottling it up inside and causing him some stress mainly as he knows you’re worried about him crossdressing with this strong urge inside us men to explain and alay fears.

I have been where Katie is a good number of years back now and know it can be frustrating but I was fortunate to have more open coms with Esme and an agreement I could dress at home she just didnt want to see it hence the working from home dressed started.. then lucky she decided to come up and see me dressed in her lunch time and we went to the next stage in acceptance seeing I wasn’t some drag queen and she still didnt get it but it wasnt that scary to see me dressed as a woman. It was still me.

I hope one day Katies wife comes around and makes that trip up stairs to meet Katie knowing shes up there crossdressed and will be ok with it all.

I was hoping to dress this week maybe a night in but we decided we’d have a husband and wife night forgetting the last home rugby match so that took over then I thought I’d dress working from home which didnt happen as I needed to go into work and so no opportunity until possibly monday if I work from home and if I do It will be the first time in 6 weeks and Esme will see me in ther lunch time and thankfully be ok with me being dressed.. It really helps me unwind but working from home dressed the day passes so fast.

And when Im dressed working from home apart from the initial transformation which I enjoy the rest of the day is spent tapping away on the laptop and the fact im dressed as a woman with makeup and wig and fake boobs its me im working just dressed different and occasionally oggling myself in the mirror and running my hands over my stockings lol.

WE definitely compartmentalise which is why we find it difficult to gauge wives reactions and worries about crossdressing and other things.

Davina

But of course, only you know your wife, Katie, and given how happy you say your marriage is, it probably doesnt matter one way or another. x

And Katie, do you really think your wife has forgotten? Or is it more likely she's hoping, or even believes, that YOU'VE forgotten? The way you describe her, she sounds too smart to assume you've stopped dressing, but wishful thinking and misinformation can make people assume things that aren't true. I mean, surely the only reason to never mention something and act as though it doesn't exist is because you wish it didn't exist, or because you assume it doesn't exist. And if she literally has forgotten that you crossdress, then that can only be because you didn't press enough importance on the issue and she now thinks it's a non-issue, because, trust me, 'Honey, I'm a crossdresser and like to dress as a woman' is NOT a forgettable moment!

Here's my guess on forum stats if we asked this very question:

Wives who remember: 99%

Wives who forgot: 0%

Wives who forgot because they were blind drunk when he told them: 1%

Don't even need to run a poll to know this result, and I'm not even sure about our blind drunk wife, as fairly sure there might be some trace memories when she gained consciousness, lol.

Gosh no, I can't compartmentalise! Do something as 'Dad you' that annoys me and I'll still be annoyed at 'crossdressing you' and 'husband you'. Especially husband you haha.

But my husband very much compartmentalises his life and has spoken of his crossdressing as this other 'side' and nothing to do with male him or father him or whatever. I gave him that 'are you kidding me?!' look because I really didn't know what on earth he meant as you're either one person, or you're schizophrenic! And yes, I did ask if he had multiple personalities so back then, I was clearly a bit confused,lol.

Now I know the male brain works slightly different in this regard and has this amazing ability to put everything in different boxes and the boxes don't engage each other. My brain is a ball of wool, as I saw it once written. Everything is tangled together, so yes, I always see the crossdresser with all the other elements. I don't think about it constantly though! In fact, I try and think about it hardly ever, but I get jolted into those moments when I see my husband looking a little too eagerly at some fashion magazine or woman on the telly or I'll see some eBay purchase for false nails. Those moments bring it to the forefront and are quite annoying. Mostly because, like your wife, I really don't want to discuss it or be reminded of it unless I'm the one bringing it up. Otherwise, while I know it's there at all times, I do have the ability to slide it further down the ball of wool so it doesn't bother me. Until the next annoying comment...

It can be exhausting being in my head!