Watch the video first as I think I can see in things mentioned why Esme and other wives would worry about us as we progress our Crossdressing but hope to dispell fears here showing the distinct differences
If you watch more of her videos she's a transvestite moving to Transexual and you can see subte differences in appearance and voice
She started off like most of us but she wanted to believe the crossdressing was all it was nothing more a bit of fun dressing up and says it was easier to think that it was just crossdressing - I've done this since I was about 6 on a certain level upto my 40s and never once considered it more than just crossdressing so comfortable with what and where I am on the Trans spectrum.
Her test is Crossdress as much as possible and test yourself ie does the urge continue or do you get fed up of it when you've had enough and the urge dissipates - Now I've had opportunity at home working from home 5 days in a row and day one I've crossdresed, day two I've got dressed up but with less of an urge. Day one I would have dressed 09:00-14:30 and felt I'd run out of time and day two just taking opportunity to dress little urge I'd usually be dressed again by 09:00 and by 11:00 back in male mode urge completely gone.. So guess in her test I pass Crossdresser not Trans.
She also went out and here's an Esme Fear as she went out and out got the bug for it - Again maybe if we went out with me dressed as a woman it would be fun (maybe it wouldnt) but I dont think i'd get a bug for it and know we don't have opportunity to do it as kids come first so this for me wouldnt be a problem.
She had her crossdressing urge replaced with the desire to be female and be female full time - Here's where we part ways on the trans spectrum as I have no intention of ever becoming or living as a woman . As aobove i've crossdressed 30+ years and its never crossed my mind i may be more trans than a crossdresser and never ever thought I'm a woman or want to be a woman.
The Urge to Crossdress replaced by the urge to be Fem and want to pass more and more - I can see from her perspective she inside is a woman and wants to look like a woman as passable as possible and to go out and be seen as a woman and here we have a similarity but for different reasons. I try to look as passable as possible as it's a challenge it's fun and the desire or thought about going out well you'd have to look passable as don't want to make a fool of yourself simple as that. This is a vast difference in someone who is serious about dressing and is to the right of us on the trans spectrum and myself who does this for R&R you could say but happy to return once the urge subsides to male me.
She discussed the journey she took I'm sure we can al agree with and see that we did similar part fetish in sexy lingerie and looking sexy / slutty all the phases we go throgh as Crossdressers but she was in denial of her trans spectrum position maybe scared to admit she was more trans than a crossdresser. - I'm at a place now where Esme has advised on the Classy not trashy look lol and want to try that casual look again next time i dress.
Shes travelled the journey most of us have gone on but moved on further from it becoming part of her life ( like a Hobby) to all of her life which brings this vast distance between us on the trans spectrum.
The question is are you happy just to be a crossdresser or do you want more than just crossdressing and I know I can say I'm still a part time crossdresser and always will be.
Davina
Agreed She's very eloquent and I agree also some 'oh dear lord, no' thoughts as I do whenever I hear trans say some things which don't fit with me where I am on the trans spectrum.. eg the people to the right on the spectrum where they say something which is beyond where I am on the spectrum which makes me think I hope Esme doesnt think that also covers me.. .. when she says crossdressers should not repress anything and crossdress as much as possible in order to see where they fit it is worth doing as myself and Katie have chatted about this and we'd get bored with it.. maybe two days in a row we'll dress but the third day meh maybe not.. The Thrill or urge can dissapear which I think puts us in this occasional crossdressing bracket not anything further right
Her advice is good if you're single and want to explore if you may be more trans or not.. but if you're married its harsh on a wife to all of a sudden decide you want to be a woman.. Esme never gonna happen x.
Yep sindy you're not trans so hard to fathom why men find this fun or why men crossdress and present as women.. I suppose I am trans as I crossdress and have no full idea why i dress and given up worrying about it.
She's very eloquent. I did have momentary 'oh dear lord, no' thoughts when she says crossdressers should not repress anything and crossdress as much as possible in order to see where they fit. Um, yeah, not gonna help. Pretty sure men can be a VERY obsessive lot and I'd bet there are many non trans dressers who would take that advice, dress constantly, get a thrill from it, seek more dressing, more thrill, more..more...MORE! Until one day they finally look up from their own butts and notice the wife and kids have left and they're living alone on the fringes of society, in a frock, in some two dollar dump.
And yes, this happened to a couple of the husbands of the wives I chatted to!
So bad advice there. Or, good advice if you're single and don't care how your life turns out. Terrible advice if you're a husband and father and have responsibilities. Should have figured that stuff out FIRST.
And my other thought - people don't slowly BECOME female. You are or you're not. You can't work your way up to being female...that's weird. So I don't know what she's talking about with this progression stuff, and I don't understand how crossdressing from the age of 12, which is sort of late, can equal 'female'...
But hey, I'm not trans so I can't possibly know what it's like. But I am female and I know that being female isn't a feeling at all. It just is. So I find this so hard to fathom.
I think the difference between trans and crossdressing is like butter and margarine. From the outside they both look the same but the ingredients are different.
So many good videos on youtube this another good one
Makes sense will watch this with him as her later lol
I think that there is a difference between a crossdresser and somebody looking to transition. Although they may start out on the same path the are two different journeys with different destinations.
I think that there are different parts of the brain responsible for each and the difficulty is working out which part is dictating your journey. I am convinced that the 'Davina' type crossdresser will not transition. The reasons we crossdress are different from those of a transgender woman.
I'll say more when I've finished a book I'm reading but it's fascinating stuff and even mentions the 'lizard' brain that Sindy is so fond of in explaining her reactions.
Katie