Go for it Davina I'm sure you'll be shocked meeting them as blokes for a pint but will Esme see it as outing yourself as a tgirl? Can't do any harm instead of talking about sport a nd rubbish you men talk about you can talk about high heels lol
I know when I mentioned to my wife about the trans venues, I asked her if she would like to come along as I'd met some nice people online and would be a good laugh, but she didn't say anything, I asked her to come for moral support and also to be able to ward off any unwanted attention.
I'd love to go down to Pinks and over to LFF
And I tend to make friends with dressers who are married and that way I can relax and think there's no ulterior motive.
When ever I've been out in the past to clubs and pubs I've seen men pestering women and always made a point not to bother them and stare as I've always been aware they are being pestered, but being shy and respecting women by not approaching them cold so to speak never got me a date so there you go.
I didnt really realise what women go through in terms of being stared at or chatted up as we didnt go into a pub or restaurant but there were a lot of big groups of men and boys we had to walk around or in between and i can see how a woman would feel intimidated.
I didnt feel scared or anything because I'm an idiot and think I'm tough but i was dressed as a woman in heels so what could i have done if a guy had done anything really apart from kick him in the balls ...
It does make you think about chatting women up not that i've done that for ages been with Esme since i was 19 so not had to do it for years and she was easy to pull lol
I know of a few local t girls i chat to a few anonemously on TVChix and saw 2 tgirls out in the local village when driving past with my wife and kids one night .. Not told Esme yet as just recalled it but I'll tell her I chat to the t girls we saw out in the village. Theres another I've chatted to for years lives further up the valley whos wife knows he dresses. We've chatted about meeting for a drink as blokes but that would be with agreement with our wives as we'd be outing ourselves to one another as blokes. I feel safe enough from chatting for years that we'd be ok and I'm not gonna find a notice on my door a tgirl lives here.. Maybe we'll have a pint one day as blokes and have a quiet talk about crossdressing..
I've been asked to go to an event in Swansea called Tawe butterflys which is a gathering of crossdressers 60 miles away what would Esme think? what if i dont like it there a waste of petrol blah blah blah I know one of the local t girls does go there and says its safe just a good place to meet and chat about dressing.
Theres events in MK, London, /Manchester and Leeds all places I'm told wives attend also and i do wonder would going to a trans event be like being in public or safer? I also know Esmes said no chance.
I think what Emma was on about was it could scare some wives to read about transitioning.
Most here if not all her or a large percentage are what I call mere crossdressers.
Someone said to me in a message the other day on tvchix.. do you like men … no… arent you bi as you crossdress… no im not bi im straight because I dress up as a woman has no bearing on my sexuality… he said I could take you out for a drink as Davina… I said no thanks 1) I dont want to 2) I dont want to 3) I dont like you and 4) My wife would have something to say about that… he messaged back do you know the difference between a straight and bi guy…. I said go on gis the punchline dickhead,,, he said 10 pints…. I said dont rely on that theory as if I was out as Davina and polished off 10 pints and you tried to touch me i’d probably break both your legs and your arms if you touched me… not that I’m a nasty drinker but because straight is straight no matter how much I drink so same with crossdressing and transitioning not something ive ever considered or want to consider.. crossdressings just a hobby.
I’ve gone through many a progression and now have done all I want to do as a crossdresser his the plateau I wanted to get to even surpassed it never thinking id ever go out dressed.
It is a long way from just lingerie in the bedroom with no makeup and wig to being out in public dressed as a woman 30 years in the making lol.
50 tgirls at a regular social wow I think im the only t girl in the village lol.
I have to do the whole hog wig makeup etc or its not as fulfilling which also restricts opportunity. Is your wife really ok you being out and about as Debs? Esme would not want that at all with me. I dont think.
I can see why a woman doesnt get dressed all the time,, see the videos I posted on here the cartoon a wife daring a man to dress get up makeup dress etc then in the night moisturise etc etc and repeat next day… dress 2 days in a row my skin feels awful let alone every day.
I'm in my 40s now been crossdressing since I was about 6 more conscious of it from about 10 or 11 and never drempt of transitioning and doesn't interest me in the slightest.
I dress I have what I need fake boobs, dresses and makeup and wig dressing working from home a bit meh these days as jobs so demanding of my time so not as enjoyable and relaxing time flys.. nights in dressed are good when we can manage them once or twice per year and the trip out pushed our boundary wall as far as we wanted to.
Never imagined I'd do it progressed to it as a bucket list type thing and was ok despite a twisted knee.
Hit my wall happy being a part time crossdresser.. don't think of myself as trans as it's just a bit of fun I don't take it too seriously... although I am trans by definition.
Debs I hope that was a joke and not serious as the forum is trying to support not scare wives that their crossdressing spouse may transition given time.
Sure you all push boundaries and progress to your ideal but isn't a crossdresser just that or will my one day declare he's on hormones anand transitioning I think I know the answer and he won't and neither will most.
I think there are boundaries and walls and most crossdressers find the wall and that's where they stop.
I agree that transvestite seems a little dated, but transgender is far from being so. It has come into common parliance amongst the community specifically because many of the other terms are too narrow and therefore prone to inaccuracy. The dictionary definition covers all of that, and by inarguable definition.1. noting or relating to a person whose gender identity does not correspond to that person’s biological sex assigned at birth: 2. noting or relating to a person who does not conform to societal gender norms or roles. I sometime suspect that all the angst over the correct label is totally moot. Perhaps we are all experiencing the exact same thing, except some choose to interpret it differently, or enact it differently merely as a personal coping mechanism, or due to their personal circumstances. It is impossible to tell either way, simply because we do not inhabit each others minds.How does the old saying go? Ah yes...Q. What's the difference between a crossdresser and a transexual? A. Ten years.Maybe there's more than a little truth in that. I'm not saying we all end up at the same final destination (for various and numerous reasons), but I think it is fair to say almost all of us have progressed through the ranks, so to speak, and/or continue to make attempts to do so. Its amazing how quickly, given the opportunities, a lot of us go from guarding our shameful secret behind closed doors, from just lingerie, to fully dressed, to adding makeup, to buying that first wig, then some silicone breasts/hips, to attending a trans-specific event, to walking down a high street in full public view, and all given only the slightest of encouragement and support. Hence it can be argued that any term attempting to be more specific than transgender will always be on shaky ground.I think it is true to say that we can all describe a progress of our own, and/or plans to progress yet further. There simply are no distinct boundaries for which any meaningful classifications can be applied.What you refer to as politics in just people carefully picking a term that they feel is the least derogatory in others' eyes. Look how bizarre this has become: the term transvestite being often looked down upon but replaced by the more more common term crossdresser when it is merely the english translation of the exact same term, with identical semantics. The only meaningful term is transgender .
Question makes sense in a sense that some of us see the word transgender and transvestite as old fashioned and also see ourselves as crossdressers not as transgendered as my gender isn't trans I sometimes like to dress up as a woman.
Also some real or as I'd some of us woukd deem someone to be properly transgendered said transgendered people seem us not proper trans.
Weird as all this may be the labels can be pretty political. I quote a trans spectrum and quote I'm on it but don't like to be termed transgender that to me is for the more serious trans person.
This is where we all differ and none of us dress for the same reason or feel the same way about it.
It's why there is no one answer to why we crossdress.
I agree when i dress i feel better somehow sometimes dressed as a woman but its a temporary thing I don't want to stay dressed as a woman happy to return to man mode but it is sometimes not long enough or i dress working from home and before I know i engrossed in work time to defrock and return to the alpha male. Happy to do so as the male part of me as a husband and father is far more important to me than dressing but all the same i'd not give it up as its relaxing somehow and fun.
I don't think id dress much more than i do maybe twice per month max.
I dressed thursday working from home and chatted briefly to Katie so she knows I wanted to dress today too but work video calls and being dressed as a woman not a good combination despite diversity and inclusion i need my alpha male persona in work.
If i haven't dressed for ages it can effect me as its my stress release and i haven't found another way to release stress since giving up competitive sport.
Do i feel more emotional ? maybe my guard is let down more and i relax more i don't know, i just watched Bohemian Rhapsody with Esme i didn't get emotional but Freddy Mercury was / is one of my musical heroes and seeing a film about him brought back memories remembering how gutted i was when he died the same as i just about remember John Lennon and George Harrison passing away.
Sad that we hide emotion and bottle it up as we're MEN. I was recently at a funeral and resisted a tear or two not wanting to be seen to be shedding a tear which is probably stupid.
Dressing remains just something i do enjoy the transformation and the relaxation it gives me maybe "I want to break Free" the video MTV banned kick started my Crossdressing lol.
I don't think it's just as black and white as she describes.
When i dress i feel better dressed as a woman than a man, and the only thing that stops me from dressing more is my current situation.
When I'm in drab, i constantly have the feeling i want to be dressed as a woman and when i can't dress i get very edgy, even when I'm in drab i feel more emotional and sometimes cry at the drop of a hat, something that never used to happen. It seems like it's not just about the dressing anymore for me, but yet i wouldn't like to transition.
It's really hard to explain and even harder to try to come to terms with.
Go for it Davina I'm sure you'll be shocked meeting them as blokes for a pint but will Esme see it as outing yourself as a tgirl? Can't do any harm instead of talking about sport a nd rubbish you men talk about you can talk about high heels lol
I chat to a few tgirl s and correspond. Most married dress for the fun and escapism.
Chat is usually general stuff about sport and life in general and the obvious crossdressing.
A few have mentioned going out for a drink as blokes and a few have mentioned a get together dressed.
I know when I mentioned to my wife about the trans venues, I asked her if she would like to come along as I'd met some nice people online and would be a good laugh, but she didn't say anything, I asked her to come for moral support and also to be able to ward off any unwanted attention.
I'd love to go down to Pinks and over to LFF
And I tend to make friends with dressers who are married and that way I can relax and think there's no ulterior motive.
When ever I've been out in the past to clubs and pubs I've seen men pestering women and always made a point not to bother them and stare as I've always been aware they are being pestered, but being shy and respecting women by not approaching them cold so to speak never got me a date so there you go.
Cat x
I didnt really realise what women go through in terms of being stared at or chatted up as we didnt go into a pub or restaurant but there were a lot of big groups of men and boys we had to walk around or in between and i can see how a woman would feel intimidated.
I didnt feel scared or anything because I'm an idiot and think I'm tough but i was dressed as a woman in heels so what could i have done if a guy had done anything really apart from kick him in the balls ...
It does make you think about chatting women up not that i've done that for ages been with Esme since i was 19 so not had to do it for years and she was easy to pull lol
I know of a few local t girls i chat to a few anonemously on TVChix and saw 2 tgirls out in the local village when driving past with my wife and kids one night .. Not told Esme yet as just recalled it but I'll tell her I chat to the t girls we saw out in the village. Theres another I've chatted to for years lives further up the valley whos wife knows he dresses. We've chatted about meeting for a drink as blokes but that would be with agreement with our wives as we'd be outing ourselves to one another as blokes. I feel safe enough from chatting for years that we'd be ok and I'm not gonna find a notice on my door a tgirl lives here.. Maybe we'll have a pint one day as blokes and have a quiet talk about crossdressing..
I've been asked to go to an event in Swansea called Tawe butterflys which is a gathering of crossdressers 60 miles away what would Esme think? what if i dont like it there a waste of petrol blah blah blah I know one of the local t girls does go there and says its safe just a good place to meet and chat about dressing.
Theres events in MK, London, /Manchester and Leeds all places I'm told wives attend also and i do wonder would going to a trans event be like being in public or safer? I also know Esmes said no chance.
I think what Emma was on about was it could scare some wives to read about transitioning.
Most here if not all her or a large percentage are what I call mere crossdressers.
Someone said to me in a message the other day on tvchix.. do you like men … no… arent you bi as you crossdress… no im not bi im straight because I dress up as a woman has no bearing on my sexuality… he said I could take you out for a drink as Davina… I said no thanks 1) I dont want to 2) I dont want to 3) I dont like you and 4) My wife would have something to say about that… he messaged back do you know the difference between a straight and bi guy…. I said go on gis the punchline dickhead,,, he said 10 pints…. I said dont rely on that theory as if I was out as Davina and polished off 10 pints and you tried to touch me i’d probably break both your legs and your arms if you touched me… not that I’m a nasty drinker but because straight is straight no matter how much I drink so same with crossdressing and transitioning not something ive ever considered or want to consider.. crossdressings just a hobby.
I’ve gone through many a progression and now have done all I want to do as a crossdresser his the plateau I wanted to get to even surpassed it never thinking id ever go out dressed.
It is a long way from just lingerie in the bedroom with no makeup and wig to being out in public dressed as a woman 30 years in the making lol.
50 tgirls at a regular social wow I think im the only t girl in the village lol.
I have to do the whole hog wig makeup etc or its not as fulfilling which also restricts opportunity. Is your wife really ok you being out and about as Debs? Esme would not want that at all with me. I dont think.
I can see why a woman doesnt get dressed all the time,, see the videos I posted on here the cartoon a wife daring a man to dress get up makeup dress etc then in the night moisturise etc etc and repeat next day… dress 2 days in a row my skin feels awful let alone every day.
I'm in my 40s now been crossdressing since I was about 6 more conscious of it from about 10 or 11 and never drempt of transitioning and doesn't interest me in the slightest.
I dress I have what I need fake boobs, dresses and makeup and wig dressing working from home a bit meh these days as jobs so demanding of my time so not as enjoyable and relaxing time flys.. nights in dressed are good when we can manage them once or twice per year and the trip out pushed our boundary wall as far as we wanted to.
Never imagined I'd do it progressed to it as a bucket list type thing and was ok despite a twisted knee.
Hit my wall happy being a part time crossdresser.. don't think of myself as trans as it's just a bit of fun I don't take it too seriously... although I am trans by definition.
Davina how long have you crossdressed?
More than 10 years ? Transitioned yet? No?
Debs I hope that was a joke and not serious as the forum is trying to support not scare wives that their crossdressing spouse may transition given time.
Sure you all push boundaries and progress to your ideal but isn't a crossdresser just that or will my one day declare he's on hormones anand transitioning I think I know the answer and he won't and neither will most.
I think there are boundaries and walls and most crossdressers find the wall and that's where they stop.
Emma (wife)
I agree that transvestite seems a little dated, but transgender is far from being so. It has come into common parliance amongst the community specifically because many of the other terms are too narrow and therefore prone to inaccuracy. The dictionary definition covers all of that, and by inarguable definition. 1. noting or relating to a person whose gender identity does not correspond to that person’s biological sex assigned at birth: 2. noting or relating to a person who does not conform to societal gender norms or roles. I sometime suspect that all the angst over the correct label is totally moot. Perhaps we are all experiencing the exact same thing, except some choose to interpret it differently, or enact it differently merely as a personal coping mechanism, or due to their personal circumstances. It is impossible to tell either way, simply because we do not inhabit each others minds. How does the old saying go? Ah yes... Q. What's the difference between a crossdresser and a transexual? A. Ten years. Maybe there's more than a little truth in that. I'm not saying we all end up at the same final destination (for various and numerous reasons), but I think it is fair to say almost all of us have progressed through the ranks, so to speak, and/or continue to make attempts to do so. Its amazing how quickly, given the opportunities, a lot of us go from guarding our shameful secret behind closed doors, from just lingerie, to fully dressed, to adding makeup, to buying that first wig, then some silicone breasts/hips, to attending a trans-specific event, to walking down a high street in full public view, and all given only the slightest of encouragement and support. Hence it can be argued that any term attempting to be more specific than transgender will always be on shaky ground. I think it is true to say that we can all describe a progress of our own, and/or plans to progress yet further. There simply are no distinct boundaries for which any meaningful classifications can be applied. What you refer to as politics in just people carefully picking a term that they feel is the least derogatory in others' eyes. Look how bizarre this has become: the term transvestite being often looked down upon but replaced by the more more common term crossdresser when it is merely the english translation of the exact same term, with identical semantics. The only meaningful term is transgender .
Question makes sense in a sense that some of us see the word transgender and transvestite as old fashioned and also see ourselves as crossdressers not as transgendered as my gender isn't trans I sometimes like to dress up as a woman.
Also some real or as I'd some of us woukd deem someone to be properly transgendered said transgendered people seem us not proper trans.
Weird as all this may be the labels can be pretty political. I quote a trans spectrum and quote I'm on it but don't like to be termed transgender that to me is for the more serious trans person.
Davina
The term transgender is the umbrella term that includes crossdressing, so the question makes no sense.
Roger Taylor looks ok as a girl lol i wonder if he's on TV Chix?
This is where we all differ and none of us dress for the same reason or feel the same way about it.
It's why there is no one answer to why we crossdress.
I agree when i dress i feel better somehow sometimes dressed as a woman but its a temporary thing I don't want to stay dressed as a woman happy to return to man mode but it is sometimes not long enough or i dress working from home and before I know i engrossed in work time to defrock and return to the alpha male. Happy to do so as the male part of me as a husband and father is far more important to me than dressing but all the same i'd not give it up as its relaxing somehow and fun.
I don't think id dress much more than i do maybe twice per month max.
I dressed thursday working from home and chatted briefly to Katie so she knows I wanted to dress today too but work video calls and being dressed as a woman not a good combination despite diversity and inclusion i need my alpha male persona in work.
If i haven't dressed for ages it can effect me as its my stress release and i haven't found another way to release stress since giving up competitive sport.
Do i feel more emotional ? maybe my guard is let down more and i relax more i don't know, i just watched Bohemian Rhapsody with Esme i didn't get emotional but Freddy Mercury was / is one of my musical heroes and seeing a film about him brought back memories remembering how gutted i was when he died the same as i just about remember John Lennon and George Harrison passing away.
Sad that we hide emotion and bottle it up as we're MEN. I was recently at a funeral and resisted a tear or two not wanting to be seen to be shedding a tear which is probably stupid.
Dressing remains just something i do enjoy the transformation and the relaxation it gives me maybe "I want to break Free" the video MTV banned kick started my Crossdressing lol.
I don't think it's just as black and white as she describes.
When i dress i feel better dressed as a woman than a man, and the only thing that stops me from dressing more is my current situation.
When I'm in drab, i constantly have the feeling i want to be dressed as a woman and when i can't dress i get very edgy, even when I'm in drab i feel more emotional and sometimes cry at the drop of a hat, something that never used to happen. It seems like it's not just about the dressing anymore for me, but yet i wouldn't like to transition.
It's really hard to explain and even harder to try to come to terms with.
Cat