We were out out last night kids at baby sitters off out on the train to the big smoke for a meal and some people watching then back local for a drink and some live music.
When we've had a drink at some point the conversation comes to "Davina" and yesterday Esme said i was more Rational as Davina.. does she mean sensible? does she mean I fool about less and less of a joker? Rational and nicer as Davina than I am as male me.
I still don't get it I'm just me but she said I was more Rational nicer then calmer.. now we're getting somewhere as it does really chill me out to be Davina my blood pressure reading when dressed Thursday proves this having been high before i got dressed then 2 hours transformed back to normal levels.
I still note lots of girls angst abut wives and needing to talk and wanting acceptance and pains me that its so hard for other t-girls to gain what me and Esme have even more so in that wives and GFs are missing this softer different side to us when we dress ... they may like us more Rational and nicer.
Fingers are still crossed that you'll all find this understanding.
Davina
Is it rational or are you still a little bit shy about dressing not the right word? guilty? no still not the right word? I see it with him quieter less piss taking to put it blunt than when hes my husband as a girl he is nicer and we've had some nice nights in a change from sport on the tv its a chick flick or whatever i want.. is greatful the right word?
Emma (wife)
Esme says similar Rebecca she must be right tho i cant fathom how im "nicer" when I'm crossdressed
He's different when dressed more relaxed less stressed
Davina, its interesting that you talk of high blood pressure. I've increasingly wondered if my transgenderism is a factor in causing my high blood pressure, to the point where I've considered mentioning it to the consultant monitoring it. (I think I don't mention it as I'm a little afraid of the consequences. For example, if he suggested gender identity councilling.) Its scary to think it might be seriously affecting my health (or, more accurately, trying to limit it might be affecting my health).
In regard to acting differently, it depends on what you mean by that as there are multiple facets to it.
I do feel subtly different in that my gestures are a little more fluid, voice a little softer, etc. Its not a thing I do consciously, I've just noticed it over time.
But there are more major changes too. As a guy, I've always hated socialising, always very quiet in a group. With women in particular, I've always been so in awe of them that its been an inhibitor. (Women are just so lovely, and I don't mean that in a letchy blokey way). But as I've grown in confidence as Debs, there has been a dramatic shift.
Socialising seems much easier. Debs is 100% fine with introducing herself to complete strangers and initiating conversation. When out for the evening, in totally mainstream places, I'll happily go up to a girl, compliment her, start chatting, ask for a hug, even get the occasional kiss. (I find it amusing that you can do all this, even when it transpires that her boyfriend is about and he doesn't bat an eyelid as he assumes you're not into girls).
Other behavioural changes are more conscious and purposeful. For example, changing the way you walk, more upright. Holding your head up, to look confident, helps in passing, but also deters any possible idiots from starting anything (not that I've ever had any such incident, nor hint of one).
The calmness is real for sure. But its not the special state, its the natural state. The lack of it, or lesser degree of it (in male persona) is the dysphoria, a symptom of transgenderism. (Note: not to be confused with *body* dysphoria, which often results in surgery). Everyone who dresses talks of the sense of calm, regardless of where you are on the spectrum.
Maybe i do act differently as Davina I will have to check myself next time im dressed with her and see lol
Its definately relaxing
Thanks Davina, I think my blood pressure is high at the moment, lol
I'm probably more quiet when dressed and I'm not the most talkative person in guy mode anyway, so it probably makes me even more passive! :)