By: Katie
Subject: Dressing to impress
Who do we dress to impress?
To quote Davina 'If it was the norm that we could dress how we liked and no one thought it was weird .. not so sure as how I dress I try to look attractive and as convincing as possible so even if it was accepted would men be attracted to me as Davina.. I dont want that!!
I wonder how many crossdressers actually dress to attract men and how many actually only it do it for themselves? The majority I would think.
I think the misconception is that if a man dresses as a woman he does it to attract me.
I know I don't dress to impress anyone but myself.
Should peoples motives to dress as they feel be always judged as a way to attract a mate?
There's the old fashioned view of female rape victims who wear short skirts and low cut tops are 'asking for it'.
Why is it that it is predominately men who think that women always dress to attract them? We've already discussed that women will quite often make a special effort when they go out with their girlfriends. Whether they are married, single or in a relationship dressing up does't mean they're trying to attract a mate.
I think the confusion lies in that wanting to look attractive doesn't mean you want to attract the unwanted attention.
I can understand why women would want to dress down to avoid this unwanted attention which is a real shame. To a degree it denies women (and crossdressers) the right to look attractive or sexy or however you want to phrase it because men only see it as a come on sign.
I do think that this is the main reason for the stigma around crossdressing. Because men see an attractive (sexy) 'woman' the first thought is that she's 'up for it'. If they find out she's a man then all hell breaks loose.
Generally I think women are far more accepting of a crossdressing man, 'you've got good legs' or 'that style really suits you'. They seem to be genuinely interested with no aggression or ridicule (teenage girls excepted).
Maybe this is because they can appreciate the desire to dress up for themselves which the non-crossdressing man can't.
By: Katie
Subject: Re: Re: Dressing to impress
If women just disappeared then we'd lose our inspiration to crossdress so I guess we'd probably stop.
It's the visual stimulation of beautifully dressed women that fuels our desires.
Men will always 'ogle' and a sexy women and flirting is fun, it's just that some men take this as a signal to go further. Women shouldn't live in fear of sending out the wrong signals because of the way they dress. No means no!
Subject: Re: Dressing to impress
Haha, love that song, Davina.
And ain't there some truth in it for you vain crossdressers. I swear you're more vain than most OTT women. I guess it's the limited time you get (or want) to dress and everything you've got to squeeze into that time means dressing in a cocktail dress at 3pm haha. I never said anything to my husband but I do remember laughing to myself the couple of times I coped with seeing him, because he's spending all this time swapping one fancy frock for another while I'm lounging about sipping wine in a tracksuit. I didn't get the appeal and seemed a lot of effort, but apparently you lot find this fun lol.
And it's true, who ARE you trying to impress? I asked hubs once and he said himself. He's the only man he's dressing for. Okay, so that's a bit of a head spin on many levels but it also explains the need to dress fully even though if you did leave the house you very well might encounter a homophobic man who's wobbly sexuality will be threatened by you daring to fool him. I'm also suspicious of men who freak out and beat up crossdressers - it says a lot more about them than the cross dresser. Anyway, dressing fully for a Davina dresser is because you're creating the woman that you find hot, yes? So you have to go all out and wear the things you like on women. It looks like you're trying to get male attention from the outside and I'd say this is also true....YOUR the male.
You're actually quite self sufficient, aren't you? And if all women just up and disappeared one day, you'd be bummed but you'd also cope better than most men, wouldn't you? You have Davina and Katie to keep you company.
My guess, that's when crossdressing would become pointless. I don't know why, but I've always had a gut feeling that if women disappeared that you'd stop. I feel it's our presence that almost encourages the behavior. Maybe I'm wrong. I have no way to test this theory haha.
Anyway, I agree, you're not doing it to get men but Joe Public will always assume this as that's the natural path of hetero women so they lump you in with us. And of course, we don't usually dress to attract mates but if we're wearing the things crossdressers usually wear (skirts, heels, stockings) then we sort of are as we know men like this stuff. We would rarely wear these things for casual drinks at a girlfriends house! Out around other people at a bar? Yep, we expect men to ogle.
So if you go public, either dress like a grandma and blend in, or expect men to hit on you followed by them literally hitting you when they think you've turned them gay. Men can be such an insecure gender!
By: Katie
Subject: Re: Re: Dressing to impress
Sorry Davina when I say men I generalise. Not all men see a sexy woman and thinks she's up for it but there are those who see it as a red rag to a bull.
And i agree I think crossdressers appreciate women on more than one level. 1) She's attractive. 2) I love her clothes and make up I wonder if it'd suit me. 3) She's obviously spent time putting that outfit together I wish I could do the same.
By: Davina
Subject: Re: Dressing to impress
Who do we dress to impress?
I dress to impress myself in the challenge which is trying to look convincing and to temporarily feel different from the angry stressed out lpha male I find myself being from time to time.
I’m not looking to pull or attract anyone although it is nice to get nice comments from people saying you look convincing or even attractive when crossdressed.. or if my wife says I look nice when she sees me crossdressed its even more of a boost.. “You’re so vain.. you probly think this song is about you...”
Some crossdressers will dress to attract men but not “our type of crossdresser” or as Sindy puts it the “Davina type crossdresser” … Straight married alpha male with a penchant to crossdress for
escapism etc etc.
I dress for myself.
Should peoples motives to dress as they feel be always judged as a way to attract a mate?
NO! but maybe its easier to put the puzzle together for people who would think this.
Men see an attractive (sexy) 'woman' the first thought is that she's 'up for it'…. Woooo woow wooo Katie I dont think that. I might think wow shes attractive nice to see her making so much of an effort to look so nice and love what shes wearing and how shes done her makeup.. If they find out she's a man then all hell breaks loose…. I’ve never come across this as a stay at home crossdresser but hear it can happen.
Generally I think women are far more accepting of a crossdressing man, 'you've got good legs' or 'that style really suits you'. They seem to be genuinely interested with no aggression or ridicule
Agreed once they get over the nonsense misconceptions about crossdressing.