I think youre right Rebecca can be damaging to us mere crossdressers raising questions which do t warrant raising

And thanks for your faith in me xx

Sometimes the tv programs dont help as they dont cover our level of crossdressing I think

They can reopen doubts

Having read a lot of Davina over the last two years I dont think you have much to fear Esme

He seems stable and in control of what Crossdressing is and does for him.

Rebecca (wife)

Awww Davina so sweet has Esme read the line i found one i fancy and married her and shes my best friend nice.

I dont think theres anything to fear with Davina no matter how she dresses as a woman seems to me its about trying to look convincing nothing more she seems pretty much in control of it and does she really want to go out i dont think she does its just one of those lets see how its like to be out dressed as a woman

Probably be satisfied just going outside somewhere other than in public viEw am i right Davina?

nice to read on here what Your thoughts are and nice to see no one is perfect i mean Davina and Esme done a good job talking but still need to reassure eachother same as me and him.

Probably is easier to accept him dressed trashy more than convincing though as it must it seems make you think hes trying to look convincing for a purpose other than just to look convincing but if thats what Davina says its for you should trust him by now as youve trusted him this far.

We all have out doubts and insecurities around crossdressing but at lest you talk them through x

Hannah (Wife)

Sometimes it's important to get things into perspective. TV programs are are meant to shock, titillate and thrill. It's more shocking than a man married for 22 years with two children should suddenly want to transition than one married for 25 years with 2 children and no intention of transitioning (me). God I'd make boring TV! Here's 'Katie' he like to get dressed up as a woman for a couple of hours whilst his wife is at work. He's back to normal by the time she gets home. She knows it goes on - riveting TV lol

I can't find any really up to date statistic but there were 1,759 male to female surgeries in the US in 2016. 1,497 female to male in the same year. That's out of a population of 322,762,018. Because it's not so common it tends to be more shocking. I think that there are many more crossdressers in the US so the chances of going on to full transition are slim.

I do get your fears Esme. My wife once said she was 'scared to lose me'. It's up to us to reassure our wives that we're not on some trajectory to full transition. it may need constant reassurance as doubts are always going to slip into your conscious, especially when it appears another step is being taken.

I can assure you that going out as a woman is not the same as transition. It's another experience, a validation of the hard work you've put in, a test to see if you can be accepted as you are.

Katie

"Emma was about to lynch me I could sense it."

Bahaha, Emma, good work at keeping Davina in line!

And Davina and Esme, we just need you two chatting here so we can read and learn. Amazing how well you can chat about this stuff. I'm no shrink but I don't think either of you have anything to worry about. And maybe a larger, casual shared wardrobe is not the worst thing in the world!

That said, I think casual would freak me out more than the drag look. I'd feel like it was a step in the direction of becoming a female, rather than just imitating one. I don't know why, but that's where my head is. Maybe regular exposure would erase this issue? You'll have to let us know, Esme. Now that Davina is living in jeggings... :-D

Is it just the word jeggings that annoys me so much? Reminds me of 'panties'. Lord that word winds me up lol.

And don't know what to say about a family man leaving everyone to become a woman. 22 years is a loooooong time to pretend. And incredibly selfish. But it also happens to the older generation with husbands hiding that they're gay etc, so hopefully this won't happen with the younger group.

“Davina dressed casual the other day, she looked fab, skiny jeans and blouse and boots. Would pass for a lady” - This is a morale boost and I know you felt that a morale boost may encourage me to do more..more what I don’t know just makes me feel good nothing much more than that.. pretty much happy being able to crossdress working from home when the urge arrives and the girls nights in are nice and an opportunity to dress and not be sat at the desk working on my laptop or walking round the living room dressed as a woman chatting to people from work on the phone lol (They have no idea)..

It’s nice to be told you look passable just as it’s expected to be told if I don’t look passable as You’ve said “Classy not Trashy” lol

I had no intention of freaking you out .. I dressed the previous Monday just to see how a casual look would look and feel and though hmm I do look ok I think but only dressed for 30 mins what a waste of makeup.. and dressed this monday and text you to say I was dressed and so nice to hear you tell me I looked better in what I was wearing..

It is a problem for us crossdressers / Tgirls who see this as fun and escapism, know what we want from this and see it as harmless but we cannot control what others write about crossdressing including psychologists and we cannot control how the trans world is portrayed as we know it excludes us from the big picture but as Juliette has said on one of her videos “We do not represent the trans world” .. we’re just a part of it and maybe we’re a minority part ie how many people think of a trans spectrum to begin with and how many would think men like me would crossdress and what our motives may be.

So didn’t want to freak Esme out not intended at all did want to hear the words wow you look nice dressed like that. Thankyou..

I have no, zilch, zero nadda intention of ever ever becoming a female or living as a woman or dressing more than a few hours.. I will 100% guarantee I will always return to me the man, husband and father as crossdressing is only occasional and a small percentage of who I am why would I want to make this change in our lives.

Maybe watch Juliettes video on misconceptions it explains things well.

So please Esme have no doubts in your mind as it then puts doubt in my mind about you doubting me.. Grrr why is this more complicated than it should be ..

Dressing up casually is the beginning yes … It’s the beginning of maybe dressing casually more than in a dress but I will need to invest in more casual attire (That shared wardrobe wink wink)

Conversations in bed are all well and good but when your wife rolls over has the flu and she snores all night omg sleepless night hahahaha.

Seriously it is good to talk and we had a good chat in bed and it’s hard to get your words out sometimes .. I think Esme is afraid of upsetting me “Duh” don’t be silly lay it on me whatever you want.

I get it’s hard for the wife seeing your husband dress up but it’s hard for us seeing a wifes dress sense change too.. Matching Lingerie it comes in sets you shouldn’t mix and match omg women!

Please Esme serious again now “Do not question yourself and never doubt yourself!”.. I did this before I met you and ok my level of dressing has changed but none of that is detrimental to you or because of you.. I don’t dress as a woman because of you.

And please stop thinking “Is he Gay” you may as well electrocute my balls if you’re gonna ask that again… yep ouch that question hurts. No I am not never will be nada, nil nilch zero interest in men yuck puke eww what do you see in us why aren’t you all lesbians?

It is leading to something else.. bigger shared wardrobes with more Jeggings, blouses and boots lol nothing more than that and yes back to serious typing for a wife it’s a lot to get your head around for us it’s simple and no big deal (maybe why every other paragraph I’m joking about this) as we’re in control of what we do its not gonna run away with us and all of a sudden we’re the guy off my best friends wedding singing Dion Warwick in a restaurant (Tho that would be pretty cool) or about to go through what they are going through on that program on TV brutal.

Exactly almost right to say “I do accept that dressing up is something davina does”… but I’m not really Davina lol thats just a suitable name to use Esme.

Yes we have just watched a programme about a man married for 22 years and 2 children, his wife knew about him dressing but didn’t want to know or see him and they stayed together, but, he decided after 23 years he wanted to become a lady (surgery etc) leading him to loose his family.. Big step, but why get married and have children.

But the very first thing he said when interviewed was “since a small boy he always knew he should have been born a woman”..

You wont hear that from me but what you will hear is from a very young age I’ve fancied women, still fancy women. Love to see a well presented woman (the visual aspect and yes my eyes may wander sometimes but I never letch lol sorry in joke and I may think wow she looks nice but they always wander back to you.. not like other men who may think pfwoooor id give her one ..no no no ..I’m thinking wow she looks nice simple as that)

Anyway I’ve found one I fancy who is my wife and best friend for life so there.

Agreed, it must be hard to be in a body you don’t want or feel.. the only thing I want to do with mine is lose a stone or two in weight and I’ll be happy .. It’s the right body I’m a bloke.

Seeing the tv program thinking “OMG is going on happen to me?” …. Makes me think OMG how the hell can I convince her more than I have that NO IT IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

If you have any insecurity’s encouraging me, or in tailoring me to dress differently or even the thought of going out publicly then tell me and we will set the bar again to what you are comfortable with and discuss what’s off the table.

Thanks for posting …. about time you got back on here lol .. Emma was about to lynch me I could sense it.

xxxx

Hi

Davina dressed casual the other day, she looked fab, skiny jeans and blouse and boots. Would pass for a lady lol.

It did freak me out a bit if I’m honest. I read and hear stories of people cross dressing and then wanting to become a female etc and it did put doubts in my mind. Is this wants he wants. Is dressing up casually the beginning. I have been assured it’s not.

We did have a bit of a conversation one night in bed as I said it’s hard for the wife seeing your husband dress up, questioning yourself and doubting yourself, then thinking is he gay. Is this leading to something else. It’s a lot to get your head around.

I do accept that dressing up is something davina does, I think seeing her looking so casual and natural freaked me out.

We have just watched a programme about a man married for 22 years and 2 children. His wife knew about him dressing but didn’t want to know or see him and they stayed together, But he decided after 23 years he wanted to become a lady (surgery etc) leading him to Loose his family.. Big step, but why get married and have children. It’s a hard on and so many questions . It must be hard to be in a body you don’t want or feel.

I think seeing these article scares me and think OMG is going on happen to me.

I have been told by Davina that this won’t happen, but I suppose it’s my own insecurity’s in encouraging him, by dressing differently or going out publicly will change this.

That’s enough for tonight lol 😂

Hope your all good x x

Esme

I kinda enjoyed the every day look

Mines still in the fantasy zone or whatever in dresses and lingerie and heels not really tried the common every day woman look much is it that scary?

Tricky one

I posted in another thread how he used to always wear a dress now more likely to be dressed more casual

It is easier i suppose to accept the dress and stilletoe fantasy but it has been nice to help him look more passable and see him dress to pass

It may seem strange but I think of him as still my husband but its also like having another very close girl friend but its still only working from home and our girls Nights in so most of the time hes him.

Emma (wife)

Just checking in and wow a lot goes on when you dont keep up

I'm sorting dinner now but will Pop on later and give you my thoughts

Emma (wife)