By: Sindy

Subject: The other side

Yes, you have been busy Davina. Great posts to read. I think it was Emma who is having girl time with her hubby though. I did that once some time back and regretted it. Emma, however, is in a good place and I'm very happy for her. Her marriage sounds stronger already.

And, carrying on from our train of thought about comparing what a man would do if his wife crossdressed, I realized we need to change the example and then you can give your thoughts. I'm not saying either that these activities are the same as crossdressing. But I think they're equally socially taboo and that's really the issue.

So...how would you react to coming home early from work one day and walking in on your wife standing in an adult sized diaper, baby bib and bonnet and sucking on a pacifier, cooing at herself in the mirror. And yes, this is an activity that women and men engage in! What are you thinking now? Maybe, a big WTF. Maybe you wonder if she's having a mental breakdown or an episode. You hope to god the children don't walk in and see their mother like this. Are the curtains drawn? What will the neighbor think? Does she think she's a baby? Is she, even worse, a pedophile? Oh god, she looks so weird like that, how will you ever get the image from your head. How can you ever be intimate with her again??

Might these thoughts not go through your head?

And then, she explains that this is something she's done forever since she snuck her baby brother's diaper as a little kid, and it's something she will continue to do forever. She can't help it as it's part of her now. Only occasionally she dresses, she loves to look through baby sites and buy baby paraphernalia and yes, it does often turn her on to see herself in a diaper. She would especially love it if you wanted to hangout with her when she dresses but she understands if you can't. She can dress when you're out. She will keep her things hidden.

Oh god, you think, now whenever I go to football practice my wife will be dragging her baby stuff from the attic and putting on her diaper. How can I concentrate knowing this??

Your head feels it might implode. You can't believe she even has dreams of going out publicly with you like this, but she also knows it's better to keep it private. You think you'd rather be seen with another man than a wife dressed as a baby! At least people understand being gay. People might think you're insane for staying married to her. That you have no backbone...or worse, that you LIKE women who dress as babies.

How can you stay married with this? What about the kids...this will screw them up. Does she expect them to keep a secret of they find out? Will she tell them? If anyone finds out they'll get bullied at school. And it's never going away. She's can't seriously do this FOREVER, can she??

Can you feel the angst here? And no, adult babies and crossdressing aren't really the same thing, BUT, both are socially taboo and span a spectrum from minor fetish to full time lifestyle. And while crossdressers have benefited from transsexuals who have given a sense of normality to your behavior, most people still don't think kindly of men presenting as women. So wives do feel completely freaked out, and heaven forbid going in public with him. It's a rare and brave woman who will do this. I'm always stunned that any woman will do this and wonder what it is about them that means they can handle it. I don't think I ever could. I always wonder what sort of man wants to be seen publicly as a crossdresser in the first place? Consider the wife in her baby outfit - if she strutted out the front door, what would you think? Might you not wonder if she was insane, or worse, some sort of public exhibitionist?

Anyway, just food for thought. How would you ultimately manage this situation? Remember, she will dress occasionally as a baby for the rest of your life together. Forever. She will need time to do this and somewhere to store all her baby gear. She will have times when all she can think about is dressing. She will want to spend your joint money on private baby things for herself. If you don't want to be involved because it ruins your attraction to her, you will need to accept she's dressing when you are doing other things. She might even want you out of the house so she can dress. And you will always know, deep down inside, that you feel repulsed when you see her like this but you also know, sadly, that she feels oddly attractive and relaxed. She likes herself this way. You wonder how such a thing can be. She is such a beautiful woman otherwise, you wonder why she wants to ruin her image and make herself look ridiculous. (This is a VERY common thought for wives of crossdressers)

So, how would you honestly feel?