I asked Jeans permission to put her post in the Why are we hare forum post into a separate post as much we can see in what Jean has written.

From Jean

I came here after reading the blog and read everything here as well.  

I am quite a shy quiet person and don’t really like contributing as sometimes my opinion can be quite anti some of the posters who are so intolerant so I prefer to keep quite and not cause conflict.

I did not tell my wife when we met 28 years ago, there was no internet then and it was something we had to keep secret so I purged everything, I was in the army at the time and my only escape was when I went home on Holiday and would dress when my parents were out or away.

I started dressing again after about 15 years into our marriage, I had retired from the army and was an IT Manager and had to travel all over England and Scotland so had time away in hotels where I could dress in private as it was a form of escape from the lack of sexual contact due to my wifes many medical conditions including very low lobido.

My wife found knickers when i was washing them, I told her they were mine and I was a crossdresser she threw them away and said I had to stop, she did not understand and was unwilling to listen.

There is a lot of talk from women that crossdressers should never marry if they have not told their future wife from the begining

That is fine for nowadays with all the information that is readily available, but for us older ones that was not the case when we met and we then believed that our true love would concur our dressing secret and it would never come back.  

As Davina has said so often women do change and although we still love them they stop dressing as we feel women should and they end up wearing the trousers and we go back to compensating for this by returning to our own dressing.

Forward on 13 years and  my wife is now semi-supportive and tolerates my dressing in the flat.

She does not want anyone were we live to know about my other self.

My wife has been out with me dressed once to a local support group who were really nice but I did not feel it was my thing as I feel more at home in the real world than a once a month support group venue.  

That makes going out more difficult but I do manage as my car has really dark rear windows and being an E class Merc Estate has plenty of room to change in the back.

I am more transgendered than just a crossdresser and would really like to be fully out.

I know that when out dressed I do not really pass as I am 6tf 4” tall and weigh 20 stone but don’t really care what others think as it is what I feel and enjoy. 

My Daughter and son including their partners know, wife’s ex and his current wife(no 4) know as well as his daughters from his second marriage and their mother know, one of his daughters owns a beauty salon and has done my nails, lashes and hair, she was the second person to know after my wife and I have been to her salon dressed and all her girls are really supportive too.

I think I have rambled on to much here and not sure if it the right place but hayho, currently watching tv wife is in leggings no makeup and I’m wearing a skirt, holdups, bra, blouse with makeup but no wig (I am growing my hair out so starting to get longer).

It really makes me happy that Esme, Emma and Hanna are so supportive of their husbands dressing but they are a rarity I believe, my wife semi supporting but she would really prefer I was not how I am.

Jean x