Ok this is only anecdoetal but I popped back to one of my old online haunts yesterday to catch up on a few fellow poster. I was looking for people who had joined around the same time as me as it is always good to follow their stories. We sort of grew up in the crossdressing world togther.
Three of them were late developers and what I mean as late developers was not really starting to crossdress until their mid-fourties. They hadn't really gone through the discovery at an early age as a lot of crossdressers seem to do. You know the story, I started around 7 or 8 and carried on through my teens, went off it and then came back to it later.
Anyway the thing that struck and shocked me most was that all three had opted to transistion. It has caused a huge amount of angst and upheaval in their lives. Some of the posters on their threads had been particularly nasty as they came to terms with whether they should go for SRS. It looks like all three are still with their wives but obvioulsy the dynamics have changed, especially with the effects of the hormones and the ultimate op approaching.
I know that this is no way scientific but I was wondering if those late to crossdressing have a higher propensity to transition whereas those of us who've dressed most of our lives seem to reach our zenith and stay there.
Has anyone else noticed this, is there any research out there to back up my thesis? It may just be coincidence so be interested to know your thoughts.
Katie
scary thought Sindy isn’t it but I think if our lot wanted to go on SRS and all that after all these years they’d have done it by now. Happy that the Davina type crossdresser description is all our men are as I don’t see any signs they want to do this full time or even as serious as wanting to be women other than crossdressing for fun and relaxation.
Em (Wife)
This made me think of something said in a show I was watching the other day. A male character asks a female why women are spiritually and emotionally stronger than men. And her answer: "The basic human form is female, and maleness is a sort of birth defect."
That make me chuckle, but I also pondered if there's any truth to this, it would explain why men might have these weird gender 'glitches'. Maybe you're in a constant genetic battle against the female model. Or maybe televion just talks shit...lol
No, it's not rubbish, and I think this does happen. The big group of wives I chatted to had a couple of wives whose husbands seemed to have only just discovered crossdressing, and they pushed things a lot further than anyone else. One guy started when his mother died which is interesting.
I got the feeling it is actually something very different to vanilla crossdressing. Almost like a sudden mental or even hormonal crisis. One guy did all the worst case things that a wife fears - took hormones, laser hair removal, dressed full time, and when the marriage collapsed and she left he ended up living back with his mother and suddenly didn't want to do any of it any more. Another woke up one day, started crossdressing at age 50 something, came out to his wife, and one year later he was living and working full time as a woman and I don't even know if he's still married. This was a previously very masculine person who admitted to having zero gender issues before, which is even weirder. I'm fairly sure Chelsea Manning has a similiar story. So I sort of understand why the other transsexuals might find them difficult to deal with as it's hard to believe someone can fully identify as male for forty years and be utterly convinced they're female for the next forty.
I sort of feel sorry for them as surely the medical profession should spend a bit of time figuring out why this happens rather than just send them off for SRS. If the desire to be female can suddenly appear then logic says it can also disappear and that will surely be a disaster if they've already had the surgery!
But my opinion is they're not really linked to you guys and going by their overall behaviour the reasons are probably very different than those who start at age 7 and 8 and maybe one day someone will figure all this out!
It's almost like a mid-life crisis. You suddenly realise you have this burning desire to express a feminine side and go for it hell for leather to try and catch up. Whereas those of us who have lived with it for years and come to terms with it don't feel that need.
If you've ever flipped over to the transsexual side of the forums it can be pretty scary. They can be really nasty to each other especially if someone has any doubts about taking hormones or SRS - no half measures! They're made to feel they don't belong. They should still be with us conventional crossdressers on the 'dark side'.
Katie
It’s not complete rubbish.
I’ve chatted on tv chix and the topic has come up i see soinso has changed their profile from tgirl to transsexual and some change completely to female which can be very confusing.
some ive chatted to for years and theyve not said anything then change their status and some if the did coigati tests must read it as gospel and follow the instructions lol.
i shouldnt laugh as this is all far more serious to some than it is to us and more of a worry to wives.
but we can assure our wives we’re of a type who enjoys the ocassional seasion crossdressed coming and going in urges happy with being men no intention of transition.
Davina
It just seems that if you've lived with crossdressing all your life then you're happy just to continue as you are but if you're new to it you seem to have to rush headlong into the journey to transitioning. The pink fog never lifts!
It seems that most of us here are or are married to the 'Davina' type crossdressers.
It was only an observation and maybe complete rubbish!
Katie
There’s maybe one or two on here who may think this.
I’m not one of them just happy to have fun with crossdressing that is when I can fit it into my hectic life.
September maybe start of October the last time I transformed.
I have a dose of man flu now so surely crossdressing would reduce the condition to just flu I i was to dress tonight.
I’m supposed to be going to some quiz with the wife and kids and friends but for no energy I just feel crap.
I’ve seen on tv chix a few change from tgirl to transsexual but can assure all I have never even had this cross my mind.
Davina
Hi Rebecca
Glad to hear from you again.
I think that maybe this is a site more dedicated to us vanilla type crossdressers although Savannah did describe herself as rocky road!
The site I was referring to has a transsexual section and I notice the posts switched from the crossdressing side to the transsexual side. That's a whole different ball game and the conversations there can get pretty deep and hurtful. A lot of very strong opinions! The crossdressing side is often quite light and frivilous by comparison.
It just took me back that these 3 out of about a dozen who I had regular contact with decided to transition and they all had the same late onset crossdressing in common. One was Canadian, one Australian and one Welsh.
Katie
Hi Katie I'm back by husband started 7 or 8 and says and seems to be true he has no intention at all of becoming a woman we are having too much fun playing with crossdressing when we can.
Are there tgirls on here who have started dressing late in life and looking to transition? or it this for another site as this is more the part time crossdresser?