By: Sindy
Subject: Regrets
I was thinking about my own comment 'would I rather not know' and it lead me to ponder the regrets that can come from all this. I know I have some and I often wonder if my husband does.
Deep down, I have regrets that I'll never truly be okay with a crossdressing husband. It makes me sad to acknowledge this as anyone else would have my full support. Go figure. I also regret marrying a crossdresser. That one hurts, I know, but it's the honest truth and if I ever found myself single again, I'd try very hard to avoid this situation. I also regret involving myself in the early days to a point where it has damaged the relationship we once had. I lost some respect I guess, in him, and myself, and I stopped seeing us the same. Time has healed much of it but it's true that things can't be unseen or undone. Part of being in a long term relationship is to take the warts and all, I know this, but I still pine for that simpler relationship before crossdressing entered the picture. We're okay, otherwise, and have a great life and amazing kids together and I wouldn't change that for anything. Hindsight is pointless, but I guess that's where regrets come from.
My husband's regrets? I think he might regret telling me as he sees it's affected how we are. I can't even find the words to describe it properly, but perhaps a little bit of the 'magic' died when he told me. I also wonder if he regrets marrying a woman who doesn't like it, and whether he'd dress more or maybe have a more public crossdressing life? He mostly dresses for fun, sex and stress relief so not really sure he needs more and he insists he doesn't, but I do still wonder. I guess most wives wonder if their husband needs more than she can offer.
To everyone else here, what, if any, are your regrets in regards to the crossdressing situation in your life?
By: Davina
Subject: Re: Regrets
My wifes gone through the rather not know but I think it's better being out in the open than hidden we all have regrets I think crossdressers regrets are more to do with I wish we knew now what we knew when we were younger and things like the 8 years between telling my wife and her meeting me dressed and also should I have told a white lie and said she got me into crossdressing...
I doubt my wife will ever truly be okay with a crossdressing husband either maybe its something generations to come may better accept.
My wife would also say anyone apart from her husband (me) would have her full support.
Why do you regret marrying a crossdresser as I bet there are positive traits you dont realise?
Crossdressing is occasional a few times per year its not a threat...
I categorically do not regret telling my wife as there are worse things to tell your spouse..
He will not regret marrying a woman who isn't into crossdressing as a woman who is into it will be rare its not something we even consider in a spouse or when dating or marrying....
Would I dress more? I've not dressed for ages stress is that high in work even crossdressing isn't the answer as ive had opportunities but haven't done it despite urges to do so as just to darn busy.
Would I be out in public or to t girl events - well following discussing this with my wife I haven't even dressed let alone thought much about going out dressed. But maybe if I wasn't attached I'd have tried the going out thing by now who knows.
Dressing is for fun, sex would be nice if my wife would do it with me as Davina but no hope there and stress relief is very correct...
By: Katie
Subject: Re: Regrets
I think that having a regret means that somehow you have control over a situation. I didn't grow up wanting to be a crossdresser, it's just the way I was born. I wish it had been different but then nobody is perfect and of all the flaws I could have this isn't that bad in the scheme of things.
It would have been easier of my wife hadn't found out for both of us. My life was a little simpler then but now I'm probably a more tolerant person for having looked at things from a different perspective. So I cannot regret something that has probably made me a better person.
When we married it was for better or worse. We've stuck together and have good life. When I see the difficulties some people have I count myself lucky. I've seen my sisters marriage fall a part through alcohol and gambling and the scares that it leaves are deep. She stuck at it until her children were old enough but had a miserable life during that time.
I think marriages change over time. Early on they are exciting and full of 'magic'. Then you settle down, have kids and the whole dynamic changes. It is no longer just about you but the children. At the moment they dominate our lives with little time for each other. Maybe once the kids have left home things will change a gain. And finally retirement. We have so many plans for the future that crossdressing is only a footnote.
I don't know. Maybe it will change in the future but at the moment I have no regrets about how my life has gone. We can all have dreams but when you put things into perspective there is always somebody else worse off.