Crossdressers can vacillate between bursting with excitement about sharing their secret with another person and trembling with a debilitating fear of anyone else finding out about who they truly are. Sharing the total sum of who we are as a man and woman is an important exercise for many of us.

Personally, I spent the late 1990s desperate to tell people about my feminine side. But, back then, fear stayed my lips. I eventually got over the Pink Fog of me being a fully realized Savannah and needing to shout it as a declaration through the rooftops. I eventually understood that sharing my crossdressing must come with much personal reflection on the decision. Now, when I decide to share myself with others, it is based on a couple factors.

First, there is a feeling that I get as to whether I should tell someone. Call it a Savannah Sense (trademark pending – lol) or intuition. There is a point in the friendship or relationship where I “know” I can tell this individual. But, “knowing” is sometimes misleading.

Next is to assess the reasons why I feel that sharing Savannah is so important. Is it because I am looking to shock the person with the news? Is it because I want praise or adoration? Do I feel the need to vindicate myself in some way? Or, is sharing my story a result of the strength of our friendship and kindred spirits? Ask yourself these questions and think through the reasons why sharing is so important.

If you decide to share, only you will know the best approach to do so. You’re trusting your story in the hands of another person. That being said, it’s also important to note that it’s unfair to expect your family member, co-worker or friend to carry the burden of your news on their shoulders. A secret shared is a secret halved. It may be “halved” for you, but it will not feel that way to who you are sharing with.

You have to trust that who you tell has the intelligence and understanding of your situation to know who they can tell, or if they would tell someone. If you tell your office mate, are you okay with whether they tell their wife or husband? You can ask them to keep it private, but is that request fair?

Weigh your decisions. Be thoughtful of yourself and others. But be warned, once you share your femininity with someone, you cannot take it back. The genie cannot be put back into the bottle.