By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Davina

I think that the reason for introducing the quota is that it stops any bias during the selection process. If the people selecting for the job feel that women are inferior then they will not be selected, even if they are the best person for the job. It's turkeys voting for Christmas.

If you're a group of single white men and you want to maintain the status quo then you select a straight white man. That's where the inequality comes in. So the quota removes some of the bias within the system.

No kids or teenager in the Houses of Parliament because we'd all end up having to play Xbox and sit in our rooms for hours on end, leave our clothes all over the floor and expect our dinner on the table at 6.30! Lol

I think that some of the sexual assaults are due to an entitlement that some men think they have over women as the 'weaker' sex. Goes back to the caveman days.

The gender pay gap does exist and there is plenty of research to prove it. Some industries are better than others and maybe your industry is one of the good ones where everyone is valued equally.

I agree that some people / groups are more easily offended than others but when Donald Trump can get elected, after all he said, by what was ostensibly the white straight male vote then I don't think we (white straight male) need to march to get a voice.

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: Davina

I've also always thought that it should be the best person for the job be it man or woman.

The idea of quotas to raise the level of one sort of person or another is not really democratic ... if said person was best fit for the job then thats who we should choose.

I'm al for equality but is the fact only 30% of the MPs are women anything to do with equality? If its down to the right person for the job then that's that and if only 30% were women only 30% were women and its at that level as they've strived to get more women elected ... and look where that's anded us Teressa May (Not a fan)

If the House of Parliament should be representative of the whole of the UK why aren't any children or teenagers elected?

Sexual assaults on women will far outweigh those on men as I bet there aren't many women who could assault a man we have the aggression gene.

In my line of work I don't see a gender pay gap either there are rates of pay for roles / jobs no matter who has the job

I also believe the very fact that crossdressers are stigmatised because they want to appear feminine is another indication that women are considered some how inferior to men. 'Why would a man want to emulate a woman' in that wearing a dress somehow makes you a second class citizen just demonstrates that fact.

I agree with this Katie we're even shunned as Crossdressers within the trans world let alone how the vanilla world feels about us.

I wonder what rights a group of straight white men might actually parade for? Political correctness towards straight married men maybe as seems the average Joe cant open his mouth without offending someone.

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Davina

I've always thought that it should be the best man for the job and hated the idea of quotas, especially if the person filling the quota isn't as well qualified as the person being by-passed. However, sometime it is necessary to have these quotas to beat the status quo and encourage more equality.

You mentioned that your local constituency must select a woman. At the moment women make up about 30% of our MPs despite the fact that they are a little over 50% of the population. The House of Parliament should be representative of the whole of the UK and so some manipulation is required as the local parties continue to recruit MPs who mirror themselves - white, straight men. I'm sure that there are some outstanding women candidates out there who are as good as any male equivalent so you are not missing out.

I do believe that the majority of men are respectful to women but there is a neanderthal minority who expect them to be subservient in every way. The unwanted attention that Sindy received day in and day out whilst just minding her own business is a classical example of this low level disrespect. If you then add to that the fact that men 'expect' their sexual advances to be reciprocated then women are definitely in an unequal position.

I think sexual assaults on women far outweigh those on men.

If you then add in the gender pay gap which still exists then women still have someway to go before they have parity with men. Especially straight white men in the UK/USA.

I also believe the very fact that crossdressers are stigmatised because they want to appear feminine is another indication that women are considered some how inferior to men. 'Why would a man want to emulate a woman' in that wearing a dress somehow makes you a second class citizen just demonstrates that fact.

Yes men have there own restriction and tight little boxes into which we must fit. But that is our problem and it shouldn't stop us from treating women on an equal footing.

I can't speak about how a woman might accept a compliment from a man. Maybe if it was delivered in the right way and not the "nice tits" sort of way then she might actually appreciate it in the way it was meant. Em said she'd received compliments at work and I can't believe it was all from female colleagues.

The fact you are a man means that you have the ability to do something about unwanted attention. You have the physical strength whereas a woman in most cases does not. Not only will she normally be smaller but her attire may not lend itself to a fight. That is why crossdressers who venture out at night can feel the same fear and vulnerability that a woman can feel when alone on a dark street.

I wonder what rights a group of straight white men might actually parade for. Not the right to wear dresses! I do think that the whole Trump thing is a bit of a kick back from the straight white guys in America who feel they are being squeezed deep into their box. But it is down to them to break out from the expectations of society. What's wrong staying at home looking after the kids if their wife can work and learn more than them? What's wrong with saying you can't cope, what's wrong with showing emotion. It's not the 'manly' thing to do but it is those thoughts that keep us confined.

By: SMM CD

Subject: Re: Re: Davina

YEs Sindy more or less as simple as that

A Straight married man no different other than the like urge and escapism of crossdressing some vanity as we try to look convincing and just escape for a few hours no sexual motivation tho It can feel sexy but that's due to what were wearing I suppose

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Davina

The crossdresser is the straight, married man, just in a frock lol.

By: Davina

Subject:

I think in a way when I dress I do feel a little more like a woman in how I’m dressed, how I’m made up the fact I’ve got a set of DD boobs in a bra under my dress but that’s as far as it goes as I know being a woman and the relaxation I feel dressed, the stress release and the sexy feeling isn’t something a woman feels in the constraints of a bra and heels.. lol … most women cant wait to take the bra off

SOooo the feeling of escapism I get is something else and feeling like a woman is only on the surface not a real “Oh I feel so much like a woman when crossdressed” I know some Tgirls state they feel like a woman but there’s feeling like a woman and feeling more feminine.. not all women will relate to feeling feminine..

Living as a woman full time isn’t something I want to do but would love to somehow have a whole weekend as Davina just to see how it feels but being the kind of Crossdresser I am would I stay the whole weekend dressed? or have the urge fulfilled and un-crossdress… more than likely but wouldn’t mind the opportunity for a prolonged time more than a few hours as Davina

I have about 5 pairs of heels, zero flat shoes as hate them and a pair of boots with a 3 inch heel.

They are sexy and help my legs look sexy and that’s part of the attraction to me in crossdressing I also love to see women in high heels and tights / stockings and class it as a feminine thing (as above not all women would think heels feminine or not all women act overly feminine)

I agree that to an extent crossdressing has made me aware of some of the difficulties women have in their lives but disagree about inequalities as the PC world we live in has given Women more rights than men and as many opportunities or as I’ve mentioned previously more rights than the average Joe Straight married man who it seems has bog standard rights but others have additional PC protection… Women have in my mind surpassed men to the point where a local MP retired and they said they would advertise for a female only MP what’s that about surely its the best person for the job?

I’m not a feminist and I’m not a sexist pig I’m into balance and fairness we’re all people and should all be treated equally with equal respect and the PC brigade can do one.

I also believe people should be allowed to speak their mind which is hard to do when typing as its easily misconstrued in the way people might read something.

As straight married men we do live a very boring boxed in life, living as people expect us to live get an education or job be the breadwinner and alpha male at all costs and do not deviate, get married have kids be a dad and for goodness sake don’t try on lacy lingerie or you’ll get hooked and become an outcast and will have the be classed under LGBT if you like it or not but right out and down the bottom as a crossdresser.

I do believe that straight married men don’t have any more privileges than anyone else … You don’t see a banner and a march through a city of straight married men like you do a gay pride march if we did I bet the police would stop us and we’d get called homophobic.. weird isn’t it but that’s what would happen.

Is it really that bad out there that a woman cant go for a jog without being whistled at or called out to? Glad I live in Wales as I don’t see that happening here.

I’ve equally though been harrassed by a group of women or laddetts on hen nights when I’ve been out without my wife, and have you seen women who go out to see a stripper and how they behave so its all swings and roundabouts were all equal and should be treated that way minorities and all.

I don’t look for or crave attention when dolled up in fact I’m behind closed doors and curtains but it’s nice to get a message saying I’ve seen your pic wow you look nice..

My motives when dressed are relaxation, the fun of it and the escapism noting too serious and yes I take all the superficial trappings of being / dressing female and use them for a bit of fun and escapism and no when I dress I don’t think how hard women have it (Where’s the fun in that) and I also wish my wife would dress how I like to dress more often but there’s no weird fantasies running through my head..

Do I dress to feel female rather than just look the part that’s a mind boggle as I dress and feel different and more relaxed and I’d say most haven't a clue and don't want to know what goes on in womens heads, in fact it’s hard for us to contemplate why women don’t want to put on makeup and a dress and heels and look their best every day.. that can be taken as an insult as some feminists will say I don’t have to put on makeup and a dress and heels to look my best..

Women are crazy… we’re the sane ones wearing dresses lol

The worst people for judging Women is other Women (I’ve heard some really bitchy things from women and young girls which men just dont bitch about) but I wouldn’t say in the main Women garner unwanted attention from men just because they are women, I think men have more respect for women than that but we will admire a woman who has made an effort to look her best, it’s not anything bad I can look at a woman and smile thinking to myself wow she looks great, “Love the makeup, love the hair, love the dress, love the shoes”… But wait call the Pc brigade I cant say or feel or think this as I’m a straight married man but its fine for Rupert Everet playing a gay man in ‘My best friends wedding to say it to a woman’

I think that the attention that women received will mainly be a genuine compliment. Loads of times my mind has said wow she looks great love her makeup but if I said it out loud would that woman feel chuffed or would she think what a creep.

My wife also likes it if I say she looks good when she's made a special effort for a night out and when we crossdress its nice if our wives compliment how we look or how we’ve done our makeup although we don’t expect it it’s nice if it happens and as men like it if our wives compliment us too as man.

I’ve been chatted up and fancied by gay men just makes me laugh but I’m not powerless to do anything about it am I as if a guy did something I didn’t appreciate or approve of out comes Alpha man or the incredible hulk in me

As I’ve said I believe in equality but don’t think we have equality and the straight married man is at the back of the queue in terms of PC rights and crossdressers even further down the pecking order

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: The feminist crossdresser

Hi Sindy

Being man does mean that you can go out in public and nobody will judges you (provided you fit the norm). Women seem to be judged as soon as they step outside the front door and will garner unwanted attention from men just because they are women. It seems the more effort women make the more attention they get. This is wrong.

I think that the attention that women received can either be of a sexual nature or as a genuine compliment. I know my wife likes it is I say she looks good when she's made a special effort for a night out. I think that crossdressers want the same sort of compliment when they have made a special effort. Women will also compliment each other.

I can only think of one occasion when I felt uncomfortable about the attention I was getting. I was a long time ago when some friends and I ended up in a gay bar. We didn't realise at the time but being eyed up and overhearing comments made me feel self-conscious. I guess this must be what women must feel like when they receive this sort of attention and so I can understand how it would get you down.

Maybe all straight men should be made to experience this sort of attention and to be made to feel powerless to do anything about it!

I often wonder what goes through peoples heads. I'm not so sure if there is necessarily a male / female divide although there are certain learnt habits which do create a difference. It goes back to the nature v nurture debate.

I think that I have more empathy with women because of my crossdressing. I know that I will never experience the full trials and tribulation of being a real woman but I hope that I don't judge women in the same way as other men. Equally there are crossdressers who are sexist pigs so I can't say my attitude is just down to my crossdressing.

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: The feminist crossdresser

I can certainly vouch for the harassment. I always find it curious when I see how much crossdressers love the attention they get when 'dolled up', yet live it your entire life, each and every day, and it can really get you down. When I was younger I just wanted to be able to walk to my car along a main road without someone yelling someone rude out their window.

As for feminist crossdressers, well I would say that's not my husband unfortunately lol. He's a feminist man and very supportive of women, but an entirely sexist-pig crossdresser who admits his motives are to take all the superficial trappings of being female and use them for his pleasure. When dressed, he's not thinking about how hard women have it. From what I can tell, he's wishing I'd dress like that with him and god knows what other fantasies are running through his head. I don't want to know!! lol

I can see how some men might get some enlightenment from it though. Those who maybe dress to feel female rather than just look the part. Many though, I'm betting, haven't a clue and don't want to know what goes on in our heads, and I see as many sexist comments about women being 'crazy' from crossdressers as I do other men.

But maybe young men in general are becoming feminists? They do seem less rigid about roles etc.

By: Katie

Subject: Re: The feminist crossdresser

To quote Sindy 'The more I read here the more I'm actually glad I'm not a straight guy, despite this innate feeling you have more privilege than the rest of us. You're also living a very boxed in life.'

I do believe that straight white men (SWM) do have more privileges but only if you fit within the narrow confines. Stepping outside these confines means you lose those privileges.

I think a lot of SWM take it for granted and act the part without any regard for other peoples feelings. Being a crossdresser does at least give you some empathy for others. Women can't even go for a jog without being subject to sexual harassment and fearing for their safety http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38568166

It does make me despair at times.