Many people I know who are not part of the crossdressing (CD) community struggle to understand CDs, our objectives, and our motivations.

Davina - The media and press has done a good job over the years in painting the picture of crossdressing to the general public and it's not in our favour.

Perhaps, though, that’s not so surprising if you sit down and carefully think about our community as a whole—what we do, who we are.

Davina - I think the general public have a type of man who would be a crossdresser but would be shocked to see how diverse the actual type of men who crossdress are..

Then ask yourself: Why is it they don't understand us?

Well, in my opinion, mainly because many of us don’t really understand ourselves!

Davina - The whole ethos of this Forum is self awareness first - Why do I crossdress, it's something you need to understand for yourself before anyone else can understand.

LET’S ASK “WHY?”

If I took a “straw poll” of, say, 20 Crossdressers and asked them, "Why do you crossdress?" I’d probably get close to twenty different, quite diverse answers.

Davina - I think we'd get a lot of pretty similar answers but it's going into those answers and assessing to what extent each answer is prioritised that is the difference in us all.

Almost certainly, quite a few would simply answer, “Hmm, good question… I don’t really know.”

So, if I took this a stage further and asked, “Why do you think you sometimes have an overpowering, all encompassing need to crossdress, something which is so strong, irresistible and almost overwhelming, that everything else your life becomes quite secondary? And then at other times, such need is not there at all, even if you wanted it to be?”

In short, why do you sometimes yearn, long, pine, almost beg to crossdress and, at other times, almost recoil from the thought of putting on a slinky En Femme dress, female underwear, or stockings?

IS IT A CYCLE?

Now, I’m not a medical person but it seems to me from my various discussions and debates with other T people that, just as women have their 28 day cycles of raging and then passive hormones, mood swings and changing temperament, the male of the species also has a cycle of his own.

Davina - This is a new one on me..

Yet, with a genetic male, the cycle seems to be less regular, although most friends or colleagues of mine admit to having have good weeks and bad, good moods and not so good. Sometimes it's related to things that have happened in their daily lives, maybe at work or at home and sometimes it's related to their stress levels and inability to relax when they need to most.

But there's a cycle nonetheless.

Davina - I think of a cycle being to a set frequency eg the 28 days women endure (hats off to them for what they have to go through every 28 days) .. for men it's more a circumstance thing driven by stress and that powerful "depression" which we all surpress and hide which is so damaging to our health, For those moments crossdressing becomes a simple cure somehow.

INTENSITY OF OUR YEARNINGS

Often, for a male, at times of major stress or, maybe after an enforced, prolonged period of not cross dressing, the need to don a dress, wig, or undergarments becomes so intense, so strong—and the yearning to escape into our feminine world is all we can think about.

Davina - but then life gets in the way and the stress intensifies to a point we dont crossdress and we dont gain this escape and stress release valve and that i know is very dangerous.. Ive worked and worked and worked to deadlines and late hours, then family life, stressses and commitements click in and an opportunity to de-stress in a dress comes up but other deadlines or family things are prioritised and the dressing is pushed aside for the better good of work or family.. What about our own health, wellbeing and enjoyment.. Wives may think us laxy, selfish, etc etc but they never know the things going through our minds which we bottle up.. our worries and insicurities which we dont talk about.. and wives and gf's crossdressing gives us a release from all this. Don't aks why .. it just helps.

Conversely, for some I have spoken with, a period of not wanting to crossdress can last from a few days or even a few months, almost as if the “need” simply lies dormant. But when the yearning comes back, watch out! Nothing can get in your way of getting into female attire.

Davina - in a busy life crossdressing can be put out of mind out of sight but it will come on strong after bottling it up for so lone and everything I've added in my previous note above is damaging to our health.. I've battled internal depression and not talked about it, ive surpressed dressing to hit deadlines or for some family first thing and i've hit my mental and physical health to the point my chest has been tight and ive thought im having a heart attack or maybe a panic attack but have even bottled that up and i know a few hours of escapsim helps me. I think we all go through this and again male conditioning to not show fear or weakness..

DEALING WITH OUR FEELINGS

From my own experiences, two noticeable things have happened to me with the effluxion of time.

Firstly, in my earlier days during the times of an enforced absence from crossdressing, if I saw an opportunity coming up when I could crossdress—whether this might have been a week or even two weeks away—I would become quite preoccupied and all my thoughts and energies would be focussed on the time when I could dress again.

Davina - I do get excited if i know i can have an opportunity to dress but it doesn't preoccupy me and still may not happen on the day depending on circumstances on the day.

Honestly, at such times, my yearnings totally enveloped me. Nothing else mattered.

Davina - Anyone else like this as it's not ticking my boxes.

Secondly, as I have “matured”, the yearnings have diminished.

Davina - If anything for me the yearnings to become Davina , to crossdress have intensified as i've got older and so have my stress levels.

While they're still there, I now have more opportunities to dress, which makes the feeling of need less severe.

Davina - there's the difference this t girl has more opportunity to dress .. many of us have less.

Although, to be fair, maybe this is partly due to the fact that I am almost full time now!

Davina - ahhh even more insight moving away from crossdressing to more full time,

LIFELONG GIFT

Whatever the reasons, and no matter how strong the yearnings you may have to crossdress feel, rest assured they will never go away.

They’ll be with you for life!

So, go on! Give in to temptation! Why not buy a new dress and go out next week?

Davinas conclusion - The writer revealed right at the end she's more or less full time so has taken a path to the right of the trans spectrum from mere crossdresser to more.. Maybe not the best place to advise us mere crossdressers but a lot of the above is close to the mark in some instances.