I thought I'd post my thoughts on the trans spectrum following Davina's comments. The struggle I have with the trans spectrum is that if you assume it starts at men in lingerie and ends with trans women then the assumption is that where ever you fall on the spectrum there is always a chance that you can move up the spectrum which I think is what most wives fear. They fear that the eventual destination is transition.

A man being aroused wearing lingerie is very different to a trans woman suffering from gender dysphoria so why would they be on the same spectrum. It's the butter and margarine comparison I've used before - they both look the same, do the same job but have very different ingredients.

There is no reason that somebody can't feel 100% male (gender identity) but want to dress as a woman from time to time (gender expression). Equally somebody might identify 100% as female but spend 80% of their time as male with the eventual wish to transition. To me those are two entirely different motivations and belong on different spectrums although they will both crossdress. Add into the mix men who want to dress as a woman purely for fetish reason then you have another dimension.

I believe that gender expression is flexible. You can express as 100% male, 100% female or somewhere in between. You may wake up 100% male (PJs and stubble, hair all over the place) but then shower, shave, slip on some lingerie and a dress and end up 80% female. Then decide to go the full works and put on make up and a wig (100% female in expression). Two hours later and its all off and your back to 100% male. All the time your gender identity has remained 100% male. Somebody like that is never going to want to transition so where do they fit on a trans spectrum?

I have struggled to understand gender identity. I don't think of myself as having a male or female gender, I just think of myself as me. I might have personality traits which are considered feminine and others masculine but they do not decide my gender identity, they put reflect the person I am. I've never experienced feeling being born in the wrong body so it is difficult for me to understand how somebody might feel who has gender dysphoria.

I am not a fetish dresser. I do not dress just to get off on it. It may have started like that as a teenage boy but as time has gone on my reasons for dressing have changed. For some men it has always been about fetish and remains so. There are also crossdressers who dress in a particular way or want to act out particular roles. How do they sit on the trans spectrum?

I just think that a trans spectrum is too simplistic and two dimensional when our reasons for crossdressing can be a mix of all the different types and fluctuate and change over the period of an hour or so. Do we swing up and down the spectrum?

Esme said she thought I may be further up the trans spectrum than Davina. But Davina tends to go full on when she dresses whereas I might not bother with make up, wig and even sport some stubble. I don't identify as a woman and 'Katie' is not separate part of me. I think that just illustrates that we all have different opinions and trying to fit square pegs in round holes to try and understand something as complicated as crossdressing just doesn't work. It may be convenient to have a spectrum but in reality it doesn't work for me.

As I said before I prefer to look on it as something that is fluid and may change.

How does everyone else understand the Trans spectrum? Do they disagree with me? How would they explain where some one sits on the spectrum?

Katie x