By: Katie
Subject: Tipping point
Hi Sindy
I'm fascinated by the fact that you'll accept a man in women's clothing as long as he still looks like a man. You mentioned that the wig, make up and false boobs are the point when he becomes to feminine.
What I was wondering is what you think your tipping point is.
This morning (in drab now) I was wearing a black pencil skirt, burgundy blouse, heels, lingerie and tights. I had no wig or make up on with a slight stubble (no gasps of horror Davina!). I did, however, have my false boobs on to fill out the bra. Would that have been acceptable or is it just the boobs that would have tipped it over the edge?
You see to me the top half would have been wrong because there were no boobs in either the bra or to make the blouse fit properly. It is after all cut to include boobs.
My guess it that at some point it becomes overload for you and a man switches from being a man to being a woman.
Guy's have long hair, they wear nail varnish and make up. They shave their bodies and groom their eyebrows. All acceptable but would a guy in a skirt with make up be OK? Would a guy with long hair in a blouse and tight jeans be OK? Would a guy dressed as a woman but with a beard and no make up be OK?
Does the 'eeeeewwwwww.........' feeling start to grow as more items are added or is it just OK up to a point and then 'Noooooo.....'?
I'm wondering if had your husband looked awful dressed as woman (man in a dress) then would it have been more acceptable?
You might overtime have actually helped him become more 'feminine' and without noticing actually made him into the very thing that makes you go 'eeeewwwwww' without even noticing or caring.
Maybe this is how some women cope with the shock. They think well 'X' if you're going to have to dress as a woman then I'm going to make you look as a passable as possible. It's the mothering / nurturing gene coming into play.
Just a thought.
By: Katie
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Tipping point
It's quite funny when you wash them.
Normally in warm soapy water so you get a pair of boobs popping out through the bubbles in the sink.
A bit surreal!
By: Sindy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Tipping point
Omg can't stop laughing. Exchanging tits in a car park...I bet that's not something you see everyday LOL!!
And yeh, it wouldn't sit well if my husband did have a female friend he did all that with I agree. But it would be better if I could handle it as it makes sense to separate the sexual relationship from cross dressing if the wife is struggling. I guess this is where Katie's initial desire to tell his sister makes sense. A wife wouldn't and shouldn't be jealous of a sister!
I think also I'd mention that I really don't mind men in female clothing and men can look quite hot in women's attire. Muscles adorned in lingerie are sexy. Muscles hidden below fake boobs and shapewear are not sexy. I've seen comparison photos of men wearing female clothing looking very much like men and owning the outfit and it was hot in a rebellious, masculine way that he'd be confident enough to do that. Then photos of men dressing fully as women and it's not sexy (to me) because they look too much like women, but also it seems some of that confident masculine sex appeal disappears. They seem less like they're owning it and more like they're hiding behind it. Does that even make sense?
It's just the vibe I get. This can go either way though as I know some men might feel more confident dressed as a woman. My own husband always looked sheepish and a bit embarrassed when dressed. Give me confident masculine guy any day!
By: Davina
Subject: Re: Re: Tipping point
I graduated from foam balls to silicone D cups thanks to a fellow T-girl who was purging things including the boobs so we met as men (my wife knew about it) and like a top secret pair of spys made the exchange of tits in a car park lol a vicar walked past us as we were discussing crossdressing lol.
Do you really think a female friend would be more useful for a crossdresser to dress around than a spouse?
I can imagine my wifes best friend being excited at the prospect of meeting Davina after the initial shock of me telling her I crossdress (I told her once and she laughed it off "As if you'd do that you're so funny".. I knew she wouldn't believe me)
But how would my wife feel if her best friend started spending time with Davina or even as some t girls do spend time out and about with a female friend as Davina ... Can you imagine "This weekend I've booked a hotel in London with your best friend we're going to a T-girl club in Soho and I'll be Davina"... That scenario doesn't seem something wives would be ok with?
I'm sure Emmas partner has posted here "Come back" tell us the secret to your success!!"
Now this blows my mind that Sindy could 'handle a crossdresser as a husband in the skirt and blouse and stockings and stubble without the boobs, wig, hips etc'
I'd never appear to my wife dressed or as i'd term it half dressed and never would I dress if I couldn't dress fully I wonder how my wife would react to this? I will have to find out her reaction.
By: Sindy
Subject: Re: Tipping point
The boobs, definitely. For me that starts giving off those signals I was talking about. They're not gesture or mannerisms or whatever as my husband doesn't change at all. It's the primal physical signal that boobs equals female (or fat old guy depending on the situation haha).
There's a definite tipping point for me but my husband is like Davina and doesn't do half measures so it's not something I can even work with, so I just say out of it now. I was more nurturing and helpful in the past but it eventually wore thin. Maybe some women can move into a permanent contented state helping and being involved but I grew bored and wanted to do something else and I got tired of trying to remove the images from my head during intimacy. I MUCH prefer hanging with my husband as his usual guy self.
I actually think a female friend would be more useful for a crossdresser to dress around than a spouse. Without the sexual relationship you could just have fun and learn all this stuff without wrecking the male image. For wives like me anyway - if you're with a woman like Emma then you're fine. Mind you, I do hope her husband takes it easy as well as if he gets overly confident he might bore her with it all and she might get over it like I did. Take it slow, Emma's partner, if you're reading here!
But yep, I could handle you in the skirt and blouse and stockings and stubble without the boobs, wig, hips etc. That would be fine for me and if my husband were that type of dresser I think I'd have been much more involved. It might have even been fun, but transforming my husband into a passable woman is not fun for me. It's eeeeeeewwww lol.
I used to think a man who can pass as a woman must be an ugly looking guy to do that. But then a wise cross dresser on one of the forums told me that ugly is ugly - a hot guy will likely also make a hot girl and vice versa. Look at the body type of the most beautiful women in the world (supermodels) and I think they could probably cross dress better than most women! That really helped with this male image issue I have.
By: Davina
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Tipping point
Dana international might as well have been called DNA if he/she was making some sort of statement about I can look dress and be whoever I like..
I need to go all the way or I just don't bother dressing.. It used to be opportunity take it just to try things on but now I have to have time to enjoy being dressed, time to get dressed is 10-15 mins fully made up so that's no problem and the same amount of time making sure all makeup is removed etc so theres 30-40 mins gone in transforming both ways so if I don't have at least a few hours to stay dressed fully then I think whats the point
By: Sindy
Subject: Re: Re: Tipping point
The Eurovision person (guy/girl??) made no sense. Everything else was flawless female presentation and then the beard. Strange. I don't know many women who would wear a beard even if they had hormone issues...so what was he/she trying to say? Now, a guy dressed in women's clothes but without the make up, hair etc would have been an important statement about men's rights to freedom of expression. That would have made sense and maybe even helped alleviate some male repression.
The beard just made him/her look like a circus spectacle. Even I can see that when you cross a certain line you really need to go all the way or not bother!
By: Davina
Subject: Re: Tipping point
My wifes said something along the lines of "You look too much like a Woman for us to do anything sexual with you as Davina".. I took this as a massive compliment in the way I look when dressed but replied "What if I don't look so comvincing and less like a woman" her reply... "Errrrr No"
Katie yes gasps of horror as for me my Crossdressing includes being fully dressed along with the boobies and a full face of makeup and a wig or I don't bother to dress.. gone are my partial crossdressing days.
We're different types of T girl on a different spot on the supposed Trans spectrum.
I have well groomed hair, I don't wear nail varnish or makeup and defiantely no guyliner lol but I do shave my body unassociated with crossdressing as previously discussed as I hate body hair (Personal preference) and feel unclean if I don't shave my upper body including under my arm pits which if left to grow I notice more BO when shaved no BO.. I also groom my eyebrows, ensure no nose or ear hair and look after my appearance.. That's not metrosexual that's just me wanting to look what I think is my best... Currently sporting an obewankenobe type beard and moustache.. I definitely look better as a bloke with facial hair or stubble.
Katie see the Eurovision song contest is Dana International acceptable? woman with a beard or man with a beard dressed as a man with red lipstick or transsexual I don't know..