I've never felt hatred for cross dressing but the guilt most definately not because I'm a cross dresser but because I've had to put my wife through the social stigma of being married to a cross dresser Now I have no guilt and she understands my cross dressing escapism which I'm missing.. But also scary as waaaaay to much time and effort into work beyond the stress into hyper work mode.. I need a break

I think the guilt and hatred is a direct result of the hiding and evasion. Since I came out to my wife I am way more relaxed as Stephanie and haut wish the rest of my family could know but I acknowledge they don’t need to know.

i have seen this today about the guilt and hating ones self for dressing, well let me tell you now, you will not win that battle. no matter how much you fight it, or try to hide it, that's your personal gift in life. you can spend your whole life fighting it or you can embrace it and be you. either way it will happen. you can stop and cope, but the second you walk past a clothes shop, wham, she's there. walk past a shoe shop, and wham she's there. walk past a women in the street, and see what shoes and outfit she has on and wham, she's there. because you want to be that women. you can and will waste your life fighting it until you embrace it. when that day comes, your life will become clear, a weight will be lifted from you, and all your darkest deepest moments will see the sun shining through. trust my words for i have walked in them boots.

Hi Stephanie my husband says no he'd not take the pill either and his crossdressing as he's got older has become a necessary tool for stress busting and relaxing and he enjoys it and i enjoy him being crossdressed from time to time.

We had a full weekend him dressed this last weekend gone. He's now back in trackie bottoms and t shirt and already in a video meeting with work. Won't take long his stress levels will rise again.

Good to see this has got a few more responses as for a wife i think it is useful to see why a range of men crossdress and to the % why so we can use this to ask our husbands if this also fits with them and to what percentage.

Emma (Wife)

So a mindgame I have played out a few times with friends.

If there was a pill you could take now that would stop all feelings and desires to dress, would you take it?

I know my answer but let's see what others think first....

After long hard thinking and consideration I think I have finally whittled it down to each individual reason I crossdress. For me its:

40% Escapism

With a busy home life and a stressful and physically demanding job I find that crossdressing really helps me escape my male side and allows me to relax and de-stress a lot more. It allows me to escape from all the things men are typically seen as such as the strong man who can fix all their partners problems and fulfil their every need.

30% Loving My Feminine Side

I absolutely adore how I look and feel when I'm crossdressed, different outfits and styles give me different emotions. Plus the clothes are so much more expressive and there is so much more to choose from over the male clothes on offer. I also feel that my personality changes when I'm dressed, for example my demeanor becomes more relaxed and I've noticed I have started to walk and talk more Feminine then I use to when crossdressed.

30% Loving Crossdressing

As much as this could be under the "loving my Feminine side" umbrella, I do think they are slightly different. For example, my love for crossdressjng goes beyond walking and talking, its the whole experience of finding new styles, doing research on making yourself pass more as a female.

Overall I just love everything about it apart from the money side of things and always wanting more stuff 😂.that really seems to hurt the wallet. All in all I wouldn't change a thing even with the silly stigmatism around it. Hopefully one day it'll be more widely excepted and we can all spread our wings just that extra bit more.

Sam xx

I am not sure I can boil it down to numbers; all I can say it is brings an "inner peace" to me and you can certainly tell if it has been a while since I dressed. By way of example, my wife struggles to see me dressed - it's not what she married - so by unsaid agreement, pre Covid, my dressing had always been as part of going out, though she was usually in the house as I got ready. Even she spotted my moods last summer and suggested I dress around the house and garden as she was "home working" in the spare room. It seemed to work and we will see what post Covid brings.

For me, once dressed, it's about the style, the "being out" - who knew just wandering around St Davids and being accepted could be so good all those years I hid inside - and the chance to be the inner me, to dance, to wiggle and yes to drink with my friend. Sorry I have not really explained this; I guess if I could explain it better I would have stopped, it would certainly have made my life easier.........

Here is my breakdown of why I think I crossdress? It would be great if a few could read and comment on it? It took me quite a while, and has definitely helped get a few things clear in my head. ESCAPISM 5% Not really a big part of crossdressing for me. It’s just me in female clothing, wig and makeup. LOOKING GOOD 40% When it comes together. Your outfit looks great, you’ve done a fair job of your makeup and your hair looks smart. You put your heels on and looking back at you is an passable feminine looking person who at least in your mind looks something like what you set out to achieve. What a buzz! You may even post a few pics online and receive some compliments. I suppose your could factor vanity into this? CLOTHES & MAKEUP 30% Ever since I can remember, I’ve found it fascinating watching ladies applying makeup. Something about it makes me feel relaxed!?! Then there’s the illusion it can create. I’m not blessed with the most feminine features, but a bit of foundation and contouring, then some mascara lipstick and eyeshadow and there’s someone quite pretty looking back at you. Shopping for clothes is also an amazing feeling, not least because it’s a little taboo for a male to shop ladies clothing (I’m being honest, but you could factor the taboo thing into all of theses categories for me). I’ve been crossdressing since adolescence, and the thrill of doing this has never lessened. Underwear.... hmmm. Who doesn’t love wearing stockings and suspenders? Well of course I do, but I much prefer firm shape wear and a pair of tights! Something about how it feels and the more feminine figure it achieves. Oh, and tights are a lot less faff than stockings. LOVING FEMININITY 25% I suppose it could be jealousy? It’s definitely admiration. Seeng a beautifully presented lady in a beautiful dress or skirt suit, with immaculate makeup, smooth nylon clad legs with a hint of gloss catching the light. Stunning painted nails and a hint of perfume as she passes. It maybe the subservient in me, but I get the feeling I could just fall at her feet and melt into a puddle in front of her, ha! But less of that side of my personality! It really does make me wonder why many females much prefer jeans and a T-shirt rather than a dress or skirt? Maybe the novelty would wear off if you wear dresses every day? Maybe if I had to put makeup on every day and shave my body regularly I’d be the same? All I know is when I do it, I feels amazing.

Thought this would have taken off Davina expected to come in and see a raft of reasons why the tgirls here dress and a score against it upto 100

Maybe given more time?

Emma (Wife)

Adjuested it

30% escapism from male life

this can be broken down further into 20% stress relief and relaxation and 10% letting my guard down as a man and relaxing as "Davina",

25% liking Womens clothes broken down to how they 15% how feel and look again breaks down 10% to certain types and lingerie etc, wearing things I like to see on Women. Certain things I'd like my wife (Esme to wear more like matching lingerie, stockings and heels.. shes worn a dress and tights 5 days this week working from home which has made me drool and made me very jealous.

15% loving Women and their femininity maybe broken down to 5% jealousy of how they can dress maybe 10% loving women and femininity,

10% feeling sexy dressed and liking how i look and a vane enjoyment of people telling me I look good as a woman,

20% enjoying crossdressing and finding it fun. Love getting transformed doing my makeup, putting on the lingerie and hosiery, the dress or skirt and blouse then the wig and finally stepping into heels and the vane reveal in a full length mirror.

Davina

escapism 35% I do enjoy being Kim and being someone different. It is a good opportunity to get away from the stresses of life and be someone else!

love the clothes 30% - I enjoy wearing lingerie and dresses, heels etc.I feel far more comfortable in them that "male" clothes. I enjoy the feeling of stockings on my legs and the tightness of a bra!

flattery 15% - well i do get far more compliments as Kim, that I ever have as my male side!

sexyness 20% - I look and feel amazing as a girl