So I recently added some face pictures to my profile. However I am dressed up too. Heavily made up, filtered and with a wig. I feel like this doesn't look like me. Kate and real life me are kind of different. This creates plausible deniability & who is running around with facial recognition software in their pocket anyway. However I have a job working with children and some of my more risque content may cause issue.
I was feeling okay about it but someone on another site messaged me with the following message. "Just looking at some of your new photos, I thought you were not going to share pictures they can identify you, are you taking too big a risk? ". To put this into context - only 2 people have seen both pictures of actual me and pictures of Kate - my SO and another close friend. My accounts are not linked in anyway. Though this person does know what my profession is.
You all must have jobs, lives and risk. How do you deal with it in a healthy way? Should I delete my photos? There seems to be a common thread that if someone were to out you - you could ask why are they there? Also that you don't look like masculine self - but my two are both femme? Should I delete (I don't really want to - is this what purging is like but more intense)?
We've tempted date leaving the house and now it's dark is easier to do so not really sure how we'd handle him being discovered and sure I've taken him out but very carefully.
If anyone found out Wed just have to cope with it but hope no one does find out
Emma (wife)
For me if for some reason i was discovered as a dresser at work it would be as you say Davina a lot of Mickey taking, but if it got out of hand and got to HR i think they would step in and deal with anyone who persisted in having a go.
It gts into the realms of bullying and discrimination in the work place.
This year a woman i work with told me the story of a transgender person her husband worked with, on the friday this person went home as a man, the following monday they went into work as a woman, the whole department was called into a meeting and told they had to carry on treating that person the same as before and they where not to ask them any personal questions, so it looks like the company where protecting her.
I would have to grow a very thick skin very quickly.
As for friends, i would find out who my real friends were i suppose, and for those who turned against me, well maybe I'd be better off without them, i bet my facebook list would shorten, but i don't use fb that much now so not much of a loss there.
In terms of "They" I'm sure the spooks at Langley and MI5 et c have a good idea of who does what.
I've been on Skype as Davina so I guess our intelligence services have me marked as a crossdresser.
According to Snowden the UK intelligence snoops on its people as much as if not more than the americans.
Not doing anything wrong just dressing up.
Ramifications on a more local level friends and family or employers may have consequences but diversity and inclusion in work comes into play.
Is it different for wives and gfs being recognised as accepting crisscrossing ?
I've said to Esm e in the past if we went out she could wear a wig et c disguise but would she get recognised before me? Then what would people think of her accepting my crossdressing?
The big risk for me is ridicule an example being people in work find a pic of me.crisscrossed and the only way they could is if they were members of tv chi x as no pics of me as Davina elsewhere and then I could say haha who mocked that photo up too.much time on your hands and sent it or say bloomin ex does look a bit like me but you lot think I'd crossdress?
And if it was concrete a shrug and say so what?.if I crossdres s and they all know me who.else does it?
Ridicule can't last long and big enough to shrug it off and make it meaningless
In the case of a wife being found out as Esm e fears then the husband or BY is outed so maybe different
What do other wives think? Emma you about? Esme?
This is a question I've been asking myself.
For me the consequences of someone recognising me are not that great, i would expect anyone who had joined the sight to be discreet and understand if they are part of the community, and not a "muggle" (I've been itching to use that phrase). 😁
Likewise if i suddenly came across someone i knew, even if i didn't particularly like that person, i would still show them the same respect as someone i didn't know after all, as t-girls, we are all on a similar journey.