A Room of My Own – Crossdressing and Confidence Away From Home

There was a time in a previous job when, twice a month, I had to give technical briefings out of town. It meant overnight stays in a Travelodge on the outskirts of the town where the depot was based.

To most people, it was just a routine work trip—just me, a senior engineer, heading away for business. But for me, it was something much more: a secret doorway into being Davina.

I always arrived at check-in time, 3 p.m. sharp. My little suitcase looked like it held documents and a change of clothes. In reality, it was packed with carefully folded dresses, makeup, perfume, lingerie, heels, wigs—the essentials for my evening transformation.

Once the hotel door closed behind me, the weight of daily life lifted. I could finally breathe. I could be Davina.

Evenings were filled with the quiet thrill of dressing, doing my makeup slowly, thoughtfully, getting every detail just right. I'd often chat with other t-girls online, sharing pictures and stories.

One evening, a playful dare came through: “I dare you to go outside and stand by your hotel window with your webcam on to prove you’re really dressed outside!” It sent my heart racing.

I opened the door, stepped into the corridor, past the reception and out into the night air, and stood outside my window and waved at my web cam..

It was a rush, a mixture of fear and freedom. That thrill gave me courage.

On another trip, I had just finished getting dressed and realised I’d left my phone charger in the car. I debated undressing but thought—no, I’m Davina, and I can do this. So I walked confidently past the ladies at reception, past two men smoking outside, and retrieved my charger. The walk back, heels echoing, felt like a victory. I know all those men were doing other than wondering if i was trans was staring at my legs and 4 inch heels.

Over the course of that year, I pushed further. One night, I left the hotel and took a quiet walk nearby. Weeks later, I went even further—into a local supermarket as Davina. I bought a new hairbrush and some lingerie. That simple act—browsing, queueing, paying—felt like the boldest thing I’d ever done to that point.

There were close calls. Once, some colleagues from work were staying in the same hotel.

As Davina, I left my room, got into the lift, and passed two of them. My heart was pounding in my chest. But they didn’t recognise me.

Later, I crossed the walkway above the hotel bar, heels clacking on the floor, and looked down to see the same colleagues chatting below. Again—no recognition. Just a well dressed business woman on her way back to her room.

One time, I even emailed the manager of a different hotel before my stay. I explained I’d be presenting as female during my visit and asked if that would be a problem.

His reply was warm and respectful and after my stay, he followed up and congratulated me—his staff hadn’t noticed anything unusual even asking if i'd actually stayed there or cancelled as no one had read i was a crossdresser.

That small gesture meant the world to me. I passed. Not just in looks, but in confidence.

Then, there was a moment I’ll never forget. On one of my last visits to the Travelodge, the receptionist knocked on my door to check everything was okay.

My bed was covered with lingerie, my wig was out, heels neatly arranged, and three dresses hung up by the window. She must have seen everything.

To this day, I wonder if she knew—and if I’d asked her for makeup tips or help with a look, whether she’d have said yes. Just another moment where fear met fantasy - a free makeover what a service by Travelodge but i din't ask her.

Those hotel nights gave me something I desperately needed: privacy, freedom, and space to explore my identity without judgement or interruption. I miss them. I miss Davina's evenings alone, i miss girls nights in with my wife, i miss the girl in the mirror, the scent of perfume in the air, the occasional daring outing. I miss the quiet confidence it gave me.

This was all pre pandemic.. I've not gone out since and think I'd need to find that confidence all over again.

Maybe... it’s time to start planning a few more trips away for work or away with my wife as Davina.. Blackpool? Brighton? somewhere accepting of LGBTQ .

Davina