Appreciating beauty isn't cheating - A tgirls perspective

One of the biggest misconceptions people make is assuming that looking at an attractive person automatically means there's a sexual intention behind it.

In reality, for most people, it simply isn't true.

Men notice attractive women.

Women notice attractive men.

That's part of being human.

My wife and I have a relationship built on love and trust.

On holiday, she and her friends were talking about the handsome actors in Bridgerton. One joked that she "wouldn't kick one of them out of bed, nor his brothers," and my wife laughed and agreed.

Did it bother me? Not at all.

If anything, it reminded me that staying fit, looking after myself, and making an effort matters.

I want my wife to find me attractive just as I find her attractive and want her to stay in shape and be healthy something best done as a couple a lifestyle of health and fitness.

Likewise, I have no issue with her admiring celebrities or noticing an attractive man walking past.

I trust her completely, and she trusts me.

The difference is that when I look at women, I'm often seeing something completely different from what people assume.

Yes, I notice beauty.

A lovely smile, elegant legs, beautiful hair or flawless makeup.

But as a crossdresser, my appreciation goes much deeper than physical attraction.

I'm looking at the whole presentation.

How has she done her makeup?

What shade of lipstick is she wearing?

How does that dress sit?

What style are those heels?

Are those sheer tights or patterned hosiery?

How do the accessories work together?

What perfume is she wearing?

How has she put the whole look together?

Rather than imagining anything sexual, I'm often admiring the artistry and femininity.

Sometimes I'm even a little envious because I'd love to recreate that elegant look myself.

Crossdressers often have a unique appreciation for femininity because we know just how much effort goes into creating it and maintaining it.

We understand that the hairstyle didn't happen by accident.

The makeup takes skill.

The dress was chosen carefully.

The heels complete the outfit.

The perfume is the finishing touch.

It's admiration, inspiration and appreciation.

Not lust.

Of course, there are people, both men and women who can be disrespectful and as crude as one another.. I find it more shocking to hear a crude woman .. expect it from a man.

Women talking of men like a piece of meat and vice versa.. that's not me.

Like I say, We've all heard crude comments from men about women, but we've also heard women make equally crude remarks about men. Neither is exclusive to one sex.

But those people don't represent everyone. They're a minority.

Most of us simply appreciate beauty when we see it.

Just as someone can admire a beautiful sunset, a classic car or an impressive piece of architecture, we can admire someone who has made an effort with their appearance without wanting anything more.

For me, no woman compares to my wife.

When she gets dressed up in a beautiful outfit, wears black tights and heels, styles her hair, applies her makeup and finishes with her favourite perfume, I admire her just as much, if not more than anyone else.

She is the woman I chose to spend my life with.

Admiring another person's appearance doesn't diminish my love for her.

Love isn't measured by whether you notice attractive people.

It's measured by commitment, honesty, respect and trust.

Crossdressing has actually strengthened my appreciation for femininity. It has taught me to notice the details that many people overlook and given me an even greater respect for the time, effort and confidence that goes into presenting a feminine image and respect for women.

So yes, I notice beautiful women.

I love to see beautiful women who doesn't.. oh and something men don't do that women do do.. men aren't catty about other men.. sadly women do get catty about other women.. hearing mums at the school gates slating a good looking female teacher in heels

. She won't keep them on all day, how much makeup does she need, who's she trying to impress.. why scorn a fellow woman for making an effort..

Maybe she needs the makeup and image for her confidence.. maybe like me she just loves makeup, hosiery, heels and nice dresses.

So I admit this holiday I've seen some stunning women exercising, sun bathing, out for a meal, drink, dance..

Not because I'm looking for someone else.

Not because I'm dissatisfied with my marriage.

But because I genuinely appreciate femininity, in all its forms and, like many crossdressers, I often see inspiration rather than temptation.

And I get jealous that women can be as feminine or as masculine as they want.. I can't.

There's a world of difference between appreciating beauty and betraying trust.

One is simply being human.

The other is a choice.

And for those of us in loving, trusting relationships, appreciating beauty, whether it's a husband noticing an elegant woman, a wife admiring a handsome man, or a crossdresser taking inspiration from another woman's style isn't cheating.

It's simply appreciating the beauty that exists in the world while remaining completely devoted to the person you love.

I'll have to see about how I get space on here as I think the images of earlier blogs help tell the story.

Davina