Are we the only normal couple?

My wife and I were talking recently about some of the couples we know—friends, acquaintances, parents of friends of the kids, familiar faces from get togethers, parties or barbecues.

As we chatted, a theme started to emerge.

So many of them seem to be struggling in one way or another.

Some have obvious anxiety issues, others are battling quietly with their mental wellbeing.

A few are in rocky relationships, and there’s often an undercurrent of tension or stress in their homes. Jobs, money, kids, juggling everything—it takes a toll.

At one point in the conversation, we looked at each other and half-jokingly concluded:

Maybe we’re the only normal couple left.

We’ve got the house, the jobs, the parenting under control (most of the time), and we still like each other enough to laugh, walk, and talk most days. In the grand scheme of things, we felt… grounded.

Functional. Even stable.

But then, of course, it hit me.

I’m a crossdresser.

Not exactly your classic portrait of a “normal” relationship.

Now, I don’t say that with shame. In fact, I’ve come to see that crossdressing is a key part of what helps me feel sane. It’s more than clothing—it’s transformation, escapism, and emotional recalibration.

The process of becoming Davina—makeup, lingerie, hosiery, heels, dresses—brings me joy, comfort, and an odd sense of clarity.

It softens me when life gets hard. It fills a space nothing else seems to touch.

In some ways, dressing up as Davina is my way of managing stress and emotions.

My version of self-care, therapy, and dopamine hit all wrapped into one.

So as we were comparing ourselves to others—feeling quite smug, if I’m honest—it struck me how selective we can be when deciding what “normal” looks like.

Sure, we may not be dealing with open relationship breakdowns or diagnosed anxiety. But we're not without our own private complexities, are we?

And then I wondered about the women in those couples. If crossdressing is a therapeutic outlet for someone like me—a man who steps into femininity to relieve stress—how do women do it?

Do they find the same emotional release in putting on a nice dress, doing their makeup, or wearing heels?

For many, I suspect it’s not a luxury they allow themselves anymore.

Kids, work, exhaustion, social expectations—they all chip away. But perhaps that ritual of dressing up, even occasionally, brings a spark back. A small rebellion against the grind.

Maybe femininity, for anyone, when freely chosen and enjoyed, can be healing.

And what about the other men?

How many of them, behind closed doors, also slip into something soft and silky when the world isn’t looking?

I’m not assuming. Just wondering. Because if I’ve learned anything through writing, chatting with others like me, and listening to people’s stories over the years, it’s this:

Everyone has something.

A kink. A struggle. A secret habit. A fantasy. A story they don’t tell often.

So maybe the real truth is: no couple is truly “normal.” Every relationship carries layers we don’t see from the outside.

Behind the photos, the social smiles, and the polite chats at kids’ parties, we’re all trying to balance our own version of life. And sometimes, what holds us together isn’t visible at all.

We’re not the only “normal” couple—we’re just good at keeping it together. Like many others.

And if dressing up as Davina helps me feel more myself, and steadies the ship?

Then maybe we’re not normal.

We’re real.

Davina