Birthday wishes to me.. and Davina

Today is my birthday.

Messages flood in from friends, family, old colleagues, and people who know me simply as Alpha Man!! —the everyday, male version of me that the world sees and accepts without question and expects to act and be a certain way.

It’s touching to feel remembered and thought of, but only one well wisher (my wife) knows I exist sometimes in another form occasionally as Davina.

On TVChix—there’s a second stream of birthday wishes quietly rolling in in numbers from other t-girls, from online friends I’ve never met in person but who know a deeper part of me than most in my real life ever could.

These aren’t just anonymous messages. They’re thoughtful, kind, and rooted in a shared experience that only this unique community can understand.

I don’t actually know how old Davina is.

I can’t pin down the day she was “born or made up,” though I do remember the moment she began to fully take shape after I came out to my wife after her makeover of male me unbeknown to her me being a very occasional crossdresser after years of crossdressing in secret— Not thinking it was more than trying things on, no idea if it would fizzle out but years of hiding it, keeping it to myself then self-questioning, not realising it would become something i enjoy presenting fully and a mental health coping mechanism making me feel escaped from male me and stress.. feeling sexy, feeling nicer temporatrily and the journey of acceptance between me and my wife.

Together, my wife and I gave her a name—Davina—and that was the day I'd say she was created as a character.

It was a turning point. I wasn’t just a man in lingerie anymore. I was someone who could present fully: makeup, hair, clothes, heels… the works. A womanly version of myself who wasn't just about fantasy, but feeling. Peace. Groundedness. Joy.

So today, as I read through “Happy Birthday!” texts from those who know only half the story, and warm wishes from those who know the hidden half, I sometimes live in two worlds, and I am seen—albeit in very different ways—in both but in one only by my wife and anonamously by others like me.

If I receive birthday money, I might spend some on fem things. After all, there’s not much I need as my usual self. But Davina… she could always use something new: a fresh pair of heels, a fashionable new dress, maybe a new wig to match the one I already have or some nice new Lingerie and hosiery. Shein is calling, I suspect!

It feels indulgent in the best way—not out of vanity.

I don’t get many chances to be Davina, especially at home. So buying her something is like keeping a little candle lit, a promise to myself that she matters, even if she’s invisible most of the time and the excitement of presenting fem in something new.

So here’s to birthdays—not just to getting older, but to being whole and becoming wiser!!

To navigating two identities with honesty and grace.

And to Davina, who may not have a birthday of her own, but who feels quietly celebrated today thanks to TV Chix and the "Chixters" on the site wishing me a happy birthday.

Davina