Clothing bag attic sort out..

There’s a pile of vacuum-sealed bags sitting up in the attic, full of dresses that haven’t seen daylight in months.

They were packed away at the end of summer, nice dresses, v neck, nice length, my size.. many of them barely worn.

To most people, they’re just clothes waiting for a clear-out.

To me, they represent something a bit more complicated.

Some of those dresses, I’ve worn.

Not in the way you might expect, and not in a way that’s always easy to explain, but when I step into them, as Davina they fit Not just my body and figure but the classy Not trashy look I have as Davina.

That’s the part people often don’t see when they think about crossdressing. It’s easy to reduce it to novelty or misunderstanding, but for me, it’s tied up in identity, comfort, and expression also.

It’s not about pretending to be someone else, it’s about allowing a different part of me to exist as a side of me that doesn’t always get space in everyday life.

Clothing plays a big role in that.

Dresses, especially, carry a certain energy, movement, shape, presence.

I’ll be honest: I notice them. I notice how they look, how they flow, how they suit different moods.

When my wife wears them, I genuinely appreciate that.

I like seeing her in them, especially with tights and heels, but she rarely wears dresses these days, and that creates a strange tension for me.

Because I would.

If I had the freedom, I’d probably wear dresses far more often than she does, that is if I was a woman.. or if I had more opportunity to be Davina.

Not as a statement, not to shock anyone, just because I like them.

The way they look. The way they feel.

The way they allow me to express something that doesn’t come through in jeans and a T-shirt.

And then there’s the practical side, which makes it even more complicated.

Those dresses represent a lot of money, hundreds, maybe more.

They’re good quality, still in great condition, and likely heading for a charity bag at some point as she's expressed she wants a sort out and cut down in the number.. which I don't get.. why wouldn't you want styles and colours .. choice..

From my perspective, it feels wasteful to let them go when they could still be worn… even if it’s by me.

But it’s not that simple.

They’re not just “clothes in the house.” They’re hers and that matters, even in a shared life, there are personal boundaries, things tied to identity, comfort, and ownership.

I understand that, even if part of me struggles with it.

I’ve tried, in the past, to express interest in keeping some of them for Davina.

It didn’t land particularly well last time.

Not aggressively, not dramatically, but enough to make it clear that this isn’t just a practical decision.

There are feelings involved that go beyond fabric and cost. She's trying to cut back and I'm claiming her things for me seeing it as they're in black bags for taking somewhere so they're in no mans land.. so open to me having them.

I find myself in this in-between space.

On one hand, there’s a genuine appreciation, for the clothes, for the style, for the idea of not letting something good go to waste.

On the other, there’s the need to respect boundaries, to avoid turning something personal into a point of tension.

And underneath all of that is the bigger truth:

• I crossdress because it allows me to express something real and escape.

• Classy not trashy is her mantra for me as Davina and she knows it's all or nothing, a stress escape and when I do something I like to do it well hence I like a nice dress to dress nice.

Davina exists in those moments where I can step outside expectations, even briefly, and feel comfortable in my own skin in a different way, in lingerie, hosiery, heels, nice fashionable dresses.

• It’s not about replacing anything.

• It’s not about taking something away from someone else. And

• it’s certainly not about winning an argument over who gets what.

  
  

It’s about expression, identity, and finding small spaces where I can escape male me, male stress, toxic masculinity.. etc etc.

Maybe those dresses will eventually go to charity.

Maybe a few will quietly stay behind.

Either way, the bigger picture doesn’t change.

Davina will still exist when she can.. frustratingly rare moments.

Hoping she puts the majority back in her wardrobe to wear herself this summer.. if not there's a few I'll have my eye on.

Davina