Contemplating my place on the Trans Spectrum - It varies from time to time but i know where i am right now

Maybe it's the fact I've had more opportunity to crossdress recently and this week have 5 days of potential crossdressing..Enjoyed two days so far a few hours dressed ad made up.

It’s taken me years—decades, really—to get here on this shifting realisation of where I am on the Trans spectrum. But I think I’ve finally found my level - At the moment anyway.. It may change in the future .. or it may not.

Right now, I’m not chasing anything bigger. But right now my mind is set having enjoyed a few hours of escapism 2 days in a row and will the next 3 probably so whilst my computers running an update I'm rattling this blog post out - Maybe my wife would be interested in these last few blogs.

I’m not dreaming about going out dressed, transitioning has never been on the agenda, or radically changing my life.

I’m simply enjoying being Davina at home, alone, working from home as Davina a few times a month—and it’s enough.. at the moment.

Although a cartoon my wife may recognise this dress - It's how i was dressed today - Maybe I'll post the photos the end of the week to prove it after 5 days as Davina

These occasional moments where I get to slip into a dress, feel stockings on my legs, do my makeup, take a few photos, maybe write a blog post—the escapism is enough.. maybe some time when not working would be nice as Davina .. not even sure I'd do a night in with my wife again maybe maybe not.

Crossdressing just needs to happen to reset my brain.

I sometimes think about where I sit on the "trans spectrum." .

I just knew I liked wearing certain clothes, and it made me feel… good about myself.

I don’t feel the need to become someone else full-time. I’m still a husband. A dad. And I fancy my wife. That hasn’t changed.

What has changed is my self-understanding. I’ve stopped fighting Davina or wondering if I’ll “grow out of it.” I won’t. It's not a phase—It's a part of me.

But she doesn’t need to take over my life to be real.

Like a Jedi I need balance in my life. This is my balance. A few times a month. It works for me.

That said, there’s one piece of the puzzle that still weighs on me: my wife isn’t fully in the loop about where I am now.

She knows I crossdress and she knows quite a lot. But I’ve not yet had the conversation to say, “This is where I’m at. I’m happy. I’m not changing direction” - a few times a month even when working from home and it hits my re-set button.

Maybe one day soon I will. And maybe writing this is part of preparing for that. Because what I want her to know is simple:

• I’m still me.

• I’m just calmer when Davina gets to breathe now and then.

We all need little sanctuaries in life. Mine just happens to wear a dress oh and full on makeup a wig, heels lingerie and hosiery and heels.

Davina