“Crossdressing Isn't About Sexuality — It Isn’t Gay, Bisexual, or Straight”

One of the biggest misconceptions surrounding crossdressing is the belief that it's inherently tied to sexuality.

It’s a myth that continues to confuse, isolate, and mislabel people like me — people who simply enjoy expressing themselves in a way that doesn’t fit traditional expectations.

My wife's first question was "Are you Gay?" - I wasn't expecting that from her so poor was my preparation for coming out to her which wasn't really planned.. I'd never put any thought into how I'd come out to her so no reason to consider what she might say.

Let’s set the record straight: crossdressing is not about being gay, straight, or bisexual.

It’s about identity, expression, and sometimes, simply about comfort and escapism.

Wearing clothes doesn’t define who you’re attracted to. 

A man wearing a dress doesn't instantly mean he's gay, just as a woman in trousers doesn’t mean she’s straight or masculine.

Clothing has no orientation.

The idea that what you wear somehow determines who you’re romantically or sexually interested in is outdated and frankly, damaging.

Many crossdressers — myself included — are heterosexual and deeply in love with their partners.

Expression, not orientation. 

Crossdressing allows me to tap into a softer, more feminine side of myself.

It’s a form of expression, of creativity, and of self-care.

When I become Davina, I’m not changing who I love — I’m just letting another part of me breathe and escape.

It's about aesthetics, mood, emotion, and sometimes escape — but not about changing who I'm attracted to. I am attracted to women, I've never been attracted to a man.

The shame is societal — not personal. 

For many years, society has lumped all non-traditional gender expressions into categories tied to sexual orientation.

But the truth is much more nuanced.

Crossdressing is one piece of the broad and beautiful puzzle that is gender expression, and it stands independent from sexuality. For this reason I can see why the LGB sometimes don't like the T tagging along to make LGBTQ and i can see that myself as the T "Why am I tagged in with sexualities?"

Some crossdressers are gay, yes — but many are straight, bisexual, asexual, or anywhere in between. It’s not one-size-fits-all.

Being honest with ourselves and others. 

The most freeing moment is when you realize you don’t have to fit into a predefined box.

Crossdressing is part of who I am, but it doesn’t define all of who I am.

It doesn’t change my love, loyalty, or masculinity — it simply adds depth to my identity.

So let’s start changing the conversation.

Let’s encourage people to ask questions, be open-minded, and shed the stigma around crossdressing.

It’s not about sexuality. It’s about self.

Davina