Crossdressing misconception sexualisation and abuse

I'm on Reddit, like a lot of us are. I answer questions there — from other t-girls trying to understand themselves, from wives looking to support their crossdressing partners.

There's a good community on there when it's at its best. There's kindness, encouragement, and even admiration when someone shares photos showing their feminine side — and yes, I've posted a couple of pics as Davina and received mostly lovely, affirming feedback.

But not always.

Yesterday I had a message from a guy asking me, bluntly, for a cock pic as Davina.

It seemed to me he requests this sort of thing and usually gets a pic reply to his request..

I was polite.

I told him to grow up.

I explained that crossdressing isn’t a sexual thing for me, and that I wouldn’t be sharing anything like that.

I hoped that might be the end of it.

Instead, he replied with a graphic description of what he wanted to do to me.

I told him, again politely, that I’m straight, I’m married, and his behaviour and poir attitude wouldn’t get him anywhere with anyone man, tgirl or woman.

His next message: simply “bitch.”

I blocked him.

But this is exactly the kind of interaction that shows how some people see crossdressers, t-girls, and even women in general: as objects. As something for their fantasies. It’s disgusting, and I won’t stay silent about it.

Another message another guy this one abroad somewhere asking if he could be my "boyfriend" again assuming I dressed to attract men, to be with men.. Ahh this must be the same misconception wives have that we present as fem as we can to pull men.. Nope not interested or attracted to men.. Nice they may like how I look as Davina but whybdo people assume sexuality and assume its a sexualized activity.. So no sorry mate you can't be my boyfriend as I'm married with kids, straight and I dress for me..

I get it — I can look OK as a woman I've posted pics I've documented how I look as a tgirl and some like how I look.. Damn I like how I look and like even more how I feel cross dressed and far escaped from male me.. The positives people say I look bice , convincing even beautiful as Davina (oh how male me laughs at that) but some assume it can be sexualized.. No no no!!

The issue behind this? - Some t-girls on Reddit or platforms like X (formerly Twitter) do post explicit images. Why??

Some look absolutely stunning, and I won’t take that away from them, but when people post with their bits out, it fuels the misconception that we’re all doing this for sexual reasons or perverted reasons

That we want that kind of attention.

It undermines everything.

Trans people have fought — and continue to fight — so hard for dignity, respect, and equality.

That struggle is being chipped away by the kind of behaviour I experienced yesterday albeit mild compared to the hate some transphobes extol on trans people

Its fuelled by those who feed into the stereotype that crossdressing and trans identity is about sex.

It fuels the transphobes fist shaking that we're perverts lurking in women's toilets with our bits out waiting to attack women or sexualized objects for men to list over and screw.

It’s not like that.

For many of us, it’s about:

Expression.

Identity.

Peace.

Enjoyment

Escapism

It’s about reconnecting with ourselves — a side we tuck away - not titillating strangers online.

If you’re a guy who sees a t-girl and thinks it’s okay to send vile messages or demand pictures of their genitals — stop.

Think.

Learn.

Grow up.

If you're a Tgirl on line with your penis out - Why?

You’re part of the problem.

And if you’re a t-girl reading this, and you’ve been on the receiving end of that kind of abuse — you’re not alone.

You deserve to feel safe.

You deaerve respect.

You deserve to be seen for who you are, not what someone thinks you are.

Let’s keep being visible — but on our terms.

Let's try to educate and move on with some dignity.

Davina