Davina and me (The Book)

What happens when a man who has spent his entire life being strong finally allows himself to be soft?

I am, by every conventional measure, a very ordinary man.

A husband.

A father.

A leader.

A sportsman.

A man who has spent decades being the strong one the protector, the problem solver, the person who is expected to cope.

But there is another side to him.

Her name is Davina.

For more than thirty years, I've secretly crossed the invisible lines society draws around masculinity. What began with childhood curiosity evolved through teenage confusion, sexuality, secrecy and guilt, before eventually becoming something I never expected: a source of freedom, balance and escape.

There are dresses, wigs, makeup, heels and hosiery.

There are funny stories, embarrassing moments and some deeply personal ones.

But Davina and Me isn't really a book about clothes.

It is about why a man might need them.

It is about masculinity, pressure, identity, marriage, vulnerability, mental wellbeing and the strange relief that can come from stepping outside the role the world expects you to play.

And at the heart of the story is a wife who never expected to marry a crossdresser.

A wife who has worried about what it meant.

A wife who has sometimes struggled with it.

A wife who has sometimes laughed, sometimes helped, sometimes drawn boundaries and ultimately stayed.

Because this isn't just my story.

It is our story.

From an awkward confession and a frightened letter written decades ago, through the birth of Davina, girls' nights, makeup disasters, secret moments, an unforgettable night out and years of learning, Davina and Me follows one man's attempt to finally understand the question he has carried for most of his life:

Why do I crossdress?

The answer isn't as simple as a dress and perhaps it isn't supposed to be.

Funny, honest, sometimes uncomfortable and unexpectedly moving,

Davina and Me is one man's very personal journey towards accepting that being different doesn't mean being broken and that putting down the armour doesn't make a man any less of a man.

For anyone who has ever hidden a part of themselves.

For anyone who has ever loved someone they didn't completely understand.

And for anyone who has ever wondered what lies beneath the person the world sees.

The book finally exists.

My wife has finally read it.

And, for the first time, the person who has lived alongside Davina for all these years has finally been given the complete story.

That feels like a pretty big milestone.

And maybe…

just maybe…

it's the beginning of the next chapter.

Davina