Davina on The Weekly Hot Spot

Recently, I had one of those moments that made me smile from ear to ear.

I listen to a podcast called The Weekly Hot Spot, hosted by Olivia and Erika.

They’re smart, funny, and open about everything from sex to kink to relationships.

A few weeks back, I emailed them after listening to one of their podcasts on Alpha-Males who crossdress and told some of my story about being an “alpha male” in everyday life, yet finding freedom, softness and an escape when I step into Davina.

Initially a really great email back which is pretty rare when I've corresponded with others in the past and some nice back and forth exchange and then... To my surprise, they didn’t just read my email — Olivia and Erika based a whole podcast around it!

https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/the-weekly-hot-spot-1796448/episodes/his-wife-knows-hes-a-crossdres-262893637

Listening back, I felt a rush of pride and validation and some pride.

They treated my story with so much respect, even saying my photos of Davina made me look like a movie star! Lol Olivia especially describing the way I described escaping that tough alpha shell and embracing a more emotional, feminine side as Davina.

I loved it listening to it on my ear buds sat on the sofa across from my wife with a smile on my face.

For me, crossdressing has always been more than clothes, it used to be linerie and trying things on but it became more - I dress and present fully as a woman codename "Davina" which gives me that total escape and I enjoy it..

It’s a way to feel grounded, less stressed, a re-set button, it allows me to express emotions that sometimes.. who am I kidding most of the time get hidden away.

Hearing two confident, beautiful, sex-positive women celebrate that — publicly, warmly, and without judgement — was an incredible gift.

I haven’t yet shared the episode with my wife, but I will.

I’m proud that Davina was recognised and talked about in such a positive light.

I also hope my wife might enjoy Olivia and Erika’s sense of humour, intelligence, sex-ed and their refreshing openness about sexuality and identity.

Maybe she’ll even become a listener in the future.

For now, I’ll treasure the moment of sitting back, earbuds in, smiling as I listened to my story being told to the world.

Here's some soundbites from the interview which also made Olivia and Erika reflect on themselves and how they sometimes embrace more masculine roles to their advantage and some cheeky chatter also about apendiges lol.

Wow, Erica, this email that we got. Absolutely. blew me away. Such lovely information and the email was from one of our listeners. And this particular listener, like a lot of people, kind of surprised at how many people listen to us out on their exercising walks at the gym or driving to work? 

I'm like, wow, if we get really sexy, you're going to be walking along with the boner. Like, hello? 

There will be no more smut going on here. There will only be education. 

There you go. Well, I can't make any promises. Olivia, you know how I get riled up.

Well, that's true. There might be a smidge of smut. Just a smidge. 

This is a pro-tip. Leave 10 minutes in your commute to cool down in the car after the podcast is over.

Let's get back to this email. 

So it is from Davina. Listen to this. I was out walking at 6 a.m this morning keeping fit and looking after my male physique and my figure listening to your podcast as I often do.

 Can I just tell you I just love this email Davina is just so adorable! 

So she says this time it was your conversation around alpha males and reasons for cross-dressing.

It struck a chord I just had to write in. 

Davina describes herself as a classic alpha in many people's eyes, but says it's a front. 

It is what my father brought me up to be, what he wanted me to be. It is an act, and the real me is more chilled, maybe even more feminine.

And Alpha male isn't supposed to have any... feelings or act in a fem way, don't cry, don't show emotions, just be respected, listened to, followed and show only masculine traits. 

Now, Erica, do you think sometimes, especially alpha males, Davina is right, describing all of that. 

That is the description of an alpha male. 

Do you think that's some of the reasons why they'll get into feminization, sissification, cross-dressing is in order to kind of have access to those rebotent feelings?

Absolutely. 100% that is a big motivator. We all nod in agreement, yes, that's what our Western culture deems as alpha, it is just such folly. We are all humans. We all have emotions.

What crackhead? drinking down the laudanum back in the 1800s determined that this is alpha male behavior, right?

 I think you would be describing Freud and I believe it was cocaine.

I'm joking around, but honestly, I wonder if that's kind of where some of this, you know, in ancient, Greek and Roman times. People were not so weirded out.

When did people get so weird about all of this? 

Now, I've got to ask you, because you and I both love wearing strap-ons.

Do you ever do this? I notice that when I strap-on I notice that with each buckle that I cinch up, and then especially as I start walking.

If I am in bare feet or low heel boots, like shit kicker boots, I tend to strut proud in a very masculine kind of way.

 Do you ever do that? 

I don't, I guess I don't pay attention to my actual body. what I'm doing, it's a feeling and you're absolutely right.

In some ways we are playing with our masculine selves and there is a school of thought and psychology where we're all made up of male and female energy, right? And I don't know whose idea it was that it was wrong, but look at actors. Look at everybody in our world.

Halloween, we dress up as other people or other entities. 

What is wrong with exploring the world from somebody else's point of view? 

That's what's happened. right? 

I love strap-on-play. It makes me feel powerful. 

The fallas is a symbol of power in our Western culture.

So I absolutely adopt and feel more masculine and I don't think that's a bad thing at all. 

 Absolutely you know we do things for all kinds of different play to take us out of who we are and I think because of our big brains it's almost needed.

I mean to have empathy and understanding for someone else, it's always best to walk a mile in their shoes, right? Especially if they're high-heeled shoes and locked on. You're not getting them off.

Now, Davina says, so she goes on and she describes like this, some personal details, we're not going to go into the personal details, but this is one, like Alpha male.. Oh, Alpha to the oomph Alpha..

And says, I don't mean just someone who dabbles in panties or lingerie behind closed doors. I've developed a full feminine persona named Devina. 

She's elegant, expressive, grounded and very real to me. 

Frankly, I think that also sounds like us. So Davina's...

Three names will be Davina Erica Olivia. Yes, we've just taken over your persona, Davina. 

Now, here's where it gets really interesting.

Davina says I am out to my wife and continues what's interesting is that being Davina doesn't weaken me it rounds and completes me.

As a man I'm capable in control and assertive, but when I become Davina I tap into peace, vulnerability, and lightness and the stress of male me dissipates. and disappears. I'm still me, but in a different gear.

 So, Erika, I've got a question for you.

When you are into your mistress mode, but in a different gear, are we both feeling similar things to what Davina is feeling? 

I think so.

I have said before on the podcast that I have been rewarded in life by acting more masculine, being more assertive in business meetings, taking charge of things, ensuring things run quickly and efficiently, being in charge.

And I've always rewarded for it, so I'm not necessarily shying away from it. But I do understand the distinct differences between my ultra-fem side and that masculine side. 

We are more free, more or less, than Davina to express our masculine side.

Every human needs to feel exactly what Davina said. Peace. Vulnerability. 

Vulnerability. We grow. We grow empathy, We grow into who we are. Lightness and the stress. It is so sad, but I'm happy to be part of it that males who need this type of feeling are ashamed of how they arrive at it, right? 

So they feel that when they've wrapped themselves in Davina. They don't necessarily, and maybe I'm wrong, maybe Davina is listening now and she can follow up on that email.

As your alpha male self, do you ever feel that peace, vulnerability, lightness, and how much does this impact your male self?

 Have you become more empathetic as an alpha male? Oh, that's interesting, because I incorporate Dick Libre, which I call myself with my strap on. Oh my God, Dick Libre.. And it's almost like a superhero kind of thing. 

Right. Not to get like real weird. But I do have like all graphic novel in my head about Dick Libya, where the Dick just keeps growing and growing and it's like. Oh, lasso, not unlike Wonder Woman. Okay, it's very involved. Do you know that I have a lively imagination? You do. 

I do. 

Yes, we both do. But I think it's more socially accepted. No, that's not true.

I was going to say it's more socially acceptable for women to dress male.

 Here's the thing. They like it when females dress male as long as they know that we're playing.

Just like the most common sexual fantasy of cis straight men and actually a lot of bisexual men is two women and watching two women. So... Now that I'm thinking about it, we are allowed to gender switch but within very narrow parameters. Right, 

Absolutely.

And I was thinking when you said that, yeah, if that is a hyper feminine masculine look, right? So think about it. A really...elevated masking look so that beautiful designer pinstripe suit yeah woman with a fadora or that no no shirt right maybe the best maybe just the jacket perky festive, bare boobs, no bra.

But they'll take that same thought being in masculine clothes, take a woman with no makeup, hair pulled back or shortcut, wearing jeans, and a motley crew t-shirt. She is now being called dirty, not derogatory names. 

Yeah. Right? So you're right. It's very defined as long as it's feminine, sexy, male presenting.

 They don't want really feminine, you're right, feminine, and sexy, but it goes back to defined by whom, right? 

Look at the controversy about Pamela Anderson.

The controversy started when she said, you know, I'm actually approaching 60 and I've decided to go out without makeup. and the internet just fucking lost its mind. It's like you're not allowed to do that.

And I just, who gets to decide these things? 

You know, actually, this harkens back to, remember, Genie, who sent in a question, and we did a whole podcast on that, saying, how can I be true to myself as how I dress? And is this feminine, brought up the whole notion of who gets to define what is feminine and what is sexy and all of this kind of stuff?

 Okay, so now this is very interesting. So Davina is... Devina is... We're...We're back to Davina. Yes. Okay, so, now this is very interesting. 

So Davinas wife, knows all about it, and she...

talked about her wife's fears that, one, I'd present as a woman full-time, she says, I have no plans to do that, it would cause too much trouble and issues in our lives, but Davina Time is fantastic and loves it, and then her wife brings up something that I think is very... common to a lot of women when they find out that her husband or boyfriend or partner is into wearing panties cross-dressing feminization, sissification.

She says she isn't worried per se but her first question when Devina came out was are you gay? And this is what's so fascinating. Davina says... I hadn't even considered that! But I think now she suspects I'm bisexual.

Something she said, which when we were out, which I batted away, I think most tgirls I know and chat to, are bisexual, but at the moment I batted it to the side as I love women, I don't fancy men at all.

First of all, I think that's a legitimate question for a ciswoman who is with an alpha male. I think it's a legitimate question to ask

Although me, (Olivia)  I will ask that of partners who are not into dressing at all.

just because I'm bisexual, so I want to know, okay, what percentage of the population can you and I play with me? It's 125 percent. You, (Erika) it might only be 50 percent. Right, 

Absolutely. And, you know, Davina brings up a good point.

If you're going to discuss your desires with your partner. Expect some hard questions. 

This is a very common question. Are you gay? Are you bisexual? Did you want to OR are you looking for surgery? Are you looking to transform fully? 

We know and are fans...that that's not necessarily the case. But when you have a partner who is not necessarily kink-educated, it's very reasonable. And here's the thing too.

Some people, just like Davina, who are into feminization, have never thought about going towards men or engaging in men. 

Sometimes they are curious. If this is a full female experience, they may not be...

sexually attracted but they might be sexually curious about that experience and the wife if she's or the partner if they are so willing can help you experience that through call back to strap on play.

Yes now Davina identifies as a cross-dresser right but her wife and I'm referring to Davina as her letter is from Davina, right? But her wife automatically went to trans women.

 Now, here's the thing, a trans woman who is into women, I think, is a lesbian.

A trans woman who is into men is not exploring bisexuality. That trans woman is heterosexual. Yes, we are so used to thinking linear, right? A, B, they go together, right? And we have to open up our minds for other possibilities and other dynamics that may occur.

What's that? What did I say? I didn't even mean it. Maybe they go together. Slat A goes in. This is so B. Right. We are all about. slot A going into whole B.

And then describing it, what if a hole B wants to enjoy another hole B? Or what if slot A wants to be friends with another slot A? 

Do you sometimes think that we are all confused about the IKEA instructions? 

We're living in a simulation and it's actually IKEA instructions. We are all. fucked. 

Because even if we figure it out, I don't know if you've ever done this with IKEA furniture, I end up with like a little extra coffee cup or bowl full of extra hardware.

I sometimes get frustrated over instructions because they're not very descriptive enough. 

However, I have a very good mechanical brain how gears work into each other. And if I'm just giving some patience of time, I'll figure it out. 

Or you'll put on your strap on.

And or somebody else to do it. Yes. Thank you. 

Cis male or cis female? You know, matter. Okay. Another question. 

This was not Davina's question, but she's talking about... and she sent pictures. 

Beautiful, fucking pictures. Yeah, like beautiful.

Okay, she goes, 

My escapism is Davina. And when I dress, I dress fully and embrace my strong feminine side, noting no discernible Adams Apple, fantastic legs in stockings and  heels, long eyelashes, which make women jealous and a normal guy. 

I want to go back to jealousy because let me tell you in our adult social networking site enchantrix empire.net there are a lot of ladies in there and they will post outfit of the day and I'm thinking oh gosh Jasmine Cassandra little peg Oh gosh, who else? Sissy, and Daisy.

And I have to tell you, some of those ladies, they would fucking stop traffic strutting down the side of the road. 

Absolutely. Lisa Marie just posted some great pictures last week too. And I love her style

your everyday casual sexy girl, a pair of jeans and a turtle neck, you know what I mean? 

Beautiful. You don't have to be a gorgeous runway model to be appreciated and feminine.

 Yep. Absolutely.

And I think that sometimes women who are sitting there and going, no, no, no, you know, I'm nervous about this because I've known... wives who are part of triass, which is a cross-dressers kind of club or message boards gatherings, they do in-person events, stuff like that. Some of the wives will put their husbands in some really frumpy stuff.

 Like they'll, you know, because their husbands might be larger women.

They'll take them shopping at, I don't know, Catherine's, and they'll put them in sort of prairie dresses or... You know, like not sexy elegant pretty things. It's like polyester with weird print. It's like you don't have a girly shape.

I'm just gonna cover it up. Exactly. Yes. Do it work at finding something that enhances the shape versus just covering it up. 

Yes. Exactly. 

And Davina did mention in one of her emails that. The Mrs. is quite jealous of her makeup application.

She wears more and better applied makeup than Mrs. Apparently.

 Davina looks like a movie star. 

She does. She absolutely does. 

And hey, did you ever watch the TV series pose? No. The cast is trans women. Oh that's fantastic.

Where can you see Po's? I'll have to look that up. Um, I don't know. HBO? What? Yeah, I don't know. But oh my gosh, if you want to see some drop dead, gorgeous women. Now, these are trans women.

Not cross-dressers, but I know some cross-dressers who are just like Davina really doing the whole package. Like really doing the whole package. So Davina, thank you for your email.

Did we tell your story? Did we get it right? Do you have any follow-ups? 

What about other people? I think my final thought for this. is... what is my final thought? I have lots of thoughts. I'm not sure any of them are appropriate.

But my final thought for this is a series of questions, have you or listeners tried to come out to someone and maybe you did it as a joke or you couched it in terms of, hey, I think I dressed like a cheerleader for Halloween.

How about that? And kind of floated a little test balloon to see what would happen. And then describe what happened.

And if you like Davina have a success story, you remember Shauna in Ireland and all of her girls and like, if you've got a success story, oh gosh, tell us. I love that idea, Olivia.

I do want to hear from our listeners, whether your desires are feminization or maybe it's a kink that you're introducing to your relationship.

How did you do it and what came of it? I would love to do a podcast, really digging into that about how that is really done real life. 

We've talked about a little bit before, but I think it bears repeating.

So my final thought is send us in your stories, successes or failures or even questions on how, and we'll revisit that sometime this fall about coming out to your partners with your kink.

Erica, you bring up a great point and I want to emphasize this because we know that there are people that listen to the feminization topics who are not at all into feminization. They just want to see what weirdness we get up to.

Right. So for all of you kinky people, well -spanked, I'm looking right at you right now, buddy boy.

How did you talk to your partner about your kink because It is I think just as scary and just as vulnerable to say to someone Hey, I'm really into anal.

Would you mind tying me up and spanking me and maybe shoving in a butt plug? Like if you say that to someone on the way home from church  You might meet your maker and not the one that you you know what you were

just praying tol. 

So like a lot of things We're talking about feminization, but it can really be applied to so many things 

Yes, absolutely. 

So get in touch.

To end with Davina's quote

“When I become Davina, I tap into peace vulnerability and lightness and the stress of male me Dissipates and disappears. I'm still me but in a Different gear”

Love it. Isn't that wonderful? 

We do hope you enjoy.

Davina