Don't let communication close down

Even in the cold war America and the USSR / Russia had a hotline in a cold war crisis, but mine and my wife's communication on me being a Crossdresser had shut down.

She probably needed to talk but parked it / burrows her head in the sand and cut off the coms completely.

I needed to talk as from occasional dressing, being made up, levelling up my occasional crossdressing was a bit more frequent and it became an urge.

Work also changed I'd gone through a few promotions with more responsibilities and was acting in my first management job which was a bit stressful as I inherited a mess and was working hard to correct it.

Was it then that crossdressing acted as a bit of a release.. late 20s still before we had kids.. still holidaying I even remember on holiday in Spain going back to the hotel room for "Something".. that something was to try on my wife's lingerie for 5 minutes and even a bathing costume.

I actually had a close call with this which I've never told my wife as I was in her knickers in our room and a maid came into the room and luckily I was around the corner by the bed and said hi excuse me I'm in here .. she apologised I put my swim shorts back on and went back to the pool..

Back to the point I was now dressing a bit more and I needed to talk about it..

I plucked up courage sometimes it ate me up for weeks .tonight I'll ask can we talk about it .. but she wasn't in the right frame of mind so put it off .. tomorrow maybe.. the day after and on and on I couldn't broach the subject.

This is stupid I'm coming up to 30 years old she knows I'm a crossdresser she probably knows I'm still doing it I need to talk about it so I brought it up and after about 20 seconds she shut it down and changed the subject .. weeks of wanting to broach the subject and talk about my crossdressing and I did it and she shut it down.. arrgghhh ..

And so it went on for a few years like that although I did one day manage to tell her when we'd been shopping I saw a pair of high heels and I wanted to buy them if that was ok..

She said ok we'll get them next weekend..

It's so hard for both the crossdresser and the wife or girlfriend to talk about crossdressing.

Even now married and her accepting "Davina" in our lives I find it hard to broach and talk about my wife doesn't know what to say what I want to hear and I sometimes don't know why I need to talk to her about crossdressing but I do need it.. again maybe I needed to talk to a councilor maybe I still do.

It's not easy

Davina