Easter Sunday boredom

Second blog of the day..

I'm bored .

It’s Easter Sunday.

One of those long bank holiday days where everything just stops.

Shops shut (So we found when we popped into town although Google says they're open), routines gone, nothing really happening.

We had a plan to go for a walk.

Simple. Get out, get some steps in, do something half-productive.

But my wife couldn’t be bothered and that’s that plan gone.

I’ll probably still go on my own, but it’s not the same, is it?

And it’s on days like this my mind drifts elsewhere.

Because realistically… what better day is there to start something positive?

It’s quiet, it’s slow, there’s nothing open, nothing demanding your time.

Perfect chance to get moving, get fitter, reset a bit.

But if I’m honest, that’s not the only thing on my mind, now having disappointedly heard her say she can't be bothered to walk.

Upstairs, there’s another side of me.

My makeup, lingerie, hosiery, heels, dresses, wigs etc.

Everything I need to just switch off from the world and step into Davina for a bit.

Try a new look, take my time, just relax and maybe chat on line to other t-girls and their partners, whoever's online for a chat.

And today would be perfect for that too.

Except… it’s not.

Because having the time doesn’t mean having the freedom.

I’m out to my wife, but that’s as far as it goes.

The kids don’t know.

No one else knows.

So even though I’m sat here on a day where there’s “nothing to do”… I can’t just go upstairs, get changed, and chill as Davina.

There’s no real privacy with the kids the age they are.

No proper space to just relax as Davina without thinking about who might walk in, who might notice, what questions might come.

So you sit there, stuck in between.

Time on your hands… but not the ability to use it how you want which is always frustrating.

It’s not about wanting to hide away forever or live some double life.

The hiding is a necessity when no one can know this Alpha bloke is a secret crossdresser and that's his escape from stress and boredom.

It’s just about having the option when the time is there to express that side of yourself without barriers.

Access denied!!

Days like today just highlight it more.

Because you start thinking:

When can I find real time to escape into the feminine part of me that I enjoy?

Working from home I'm always clock watching and checking where everyone is so I don't have to rush back to Dad mode.. or hoping a work video call doesn't need to see male me on cam.

When everything’s busy, you don’t have time.

When you finally do have time, you don’t have the privacy.

It’s like the two never line up.

So instead, I’ll probably go for that walk on my own.

Put on a Pod cast and clear my head a bit from the boredom.

But in the back of my mind, I know there was another way I would have rather spent part of today.

And that’s the reality of it.

Jealous of the women I saw out in Cardiff yesterday and how they were dressed and presented.. that's added to my frustration.

Being limited by circumstances and societal norms sucks.

I guess the need and want to escape into my Crossdressing world is growing as I get older. Life's a bit boring at the moment and being Davina is a bit of a spark which I enjoy.

Davina.