Emotional discussion

My wife took the letter it was about 3 pages of explanation detailing why I Crossdress from a kid to now in my 20s..

After a few lines my wife was in tears and I reassured her everything was ok that I didn't like her being this upset and that in reality this is no big deal urging her to read on..

Clearly she was probably thinking having never had to consider crossdressing before OMG you wore your mother's Lingerie..

Reading bit by bit she kept saying "This just isn't you... This isn't something you'd do.. I don't understand"

She finished the letter with lots of tears.

I asked if she was ok and if she had any questions.

She said she'd been on the internet reading about crossdressing.. why didn't I think of that?? I'd never looked into or at the time researched about crossdressing or thought about why I crossdressed or what others thought or wrote about crossdressing .. from what she'd read on the internet she also related to some things I wrote..

"This turns you on? It's a fetish?.. does this mean you're GAY?"

Wow I wasn't prepared for that question at all as in all these years I'd dressed partly due to the love of women and femininity, Vikki Michelle and how she dressed on Allo Allo, those lingerie models in magazines, the women I fancied in real life and liking the feel of tights and stockings on my legs, the feel of the lingerie.."

So my answer "NO! OMG no I'm not GAY and can't believe you asked that"

She was relieved I think..

Next question "Do you want to be a woman?"

Wow the internet really was off point but these are common misconceptions so common questions women will ask their crossdressing spouse I found post this discussion reading about all this on the internet myself..

"No I don't want to be a woman and you making me up is the first time I've had on makeup it's usually just lingerie but I would like to try makeup again".. I was being honest

The third question was "Is this my fault is this something I caused?"..

My answer "Of course not everything is in the letter I've been doing this to some extent since I was a kid through my teens a long time before we met so not it's nothing you've done it started I suppose as substituting me wearing things as I didn't have a girlfriend wearing lingerie etc so I'd wear things and for a few years it more or less stopped as I had you wearing these things"

Her next thought was expected "You wore your mother's knickers and bras and things that's really bad"..

Yea I suppose it was but that's what was available to a curious kid with a catalogue and lingerie models and wondering how that lingerie felt and looked on someone.. that someone me..

Again "This just isn't you"

And me "I'm sorry but it is me it's just something I do sometimes"

We hugged it out in bed we kissed it was a wet kiss as she was still crying and she said "That's enough tonight let's get some sleep"

No idea what was going through my wife's head that night but I'd got a lot off my chest and felt better than the night before but gutted she was so upset I needed to reassure her and I needed to find out what shed been reading on the internet leading her to ask if I was Gay etc..

Davina